Neutron stars are the true alchemists, within them is gold and platinum.

Who was the first southpaw on the moon?

Luna Lovegood flew the thestrals there.

Why is the bottle half full?

I can hear you, but I don't care.

Who wants my cruise nightmare!?

Tourists love that stuff

Why is your friend pointing a rabbit at me?

You are a bastard, that's why I'm glad you're dead!

Is Slaughter the best medicine?

Of course! It's my go-to cure for everything!

Would you rather be shiny?

Keelhauling only backfires if the subject survives.

Why can't people embrace their flaws?

Stand in the place where you live Now face north Think about direction... Wonder why you haven't before

Do you know the flat-footed fleagle?

Of course you can have a gun...

But you really thought I'd give you bullets?

Well, duh, I am the sharpshooter after all.

Why aren't you asleep yet?

The past is a dream we all share, and the future is an illusion.

What time is it today?

Because I'm already dead

Why would anyone go to bed at 5pm?

Because they just spent 37.4 hours in intergalactic travel and they're exhausted!

Why is the sky blue?

Saturn jilted it. Again.

Whither goest thou?

Wither go what now?

How's it lookin' up there?

The main event: Galactus vs Unicron!

Why is spell check so unreliable nowadays?

because Ellen Degeneres paid off all the world's dictionaries so she could have her segments reading texts.

why are feet repulsive to some, but sexy to others?

A T-600 has one weakness, a knife to its exposed cortex can disorient it for a short time.

What would non-biological life use as a base element?

Krypton! Superman better watch out!

how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A Vioran is forced to leave after their tour on a biological basis, oxygen toxicity.

How do you hug someone, without touching them?