Play a lot of pop music until they succumb.

Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle is the coolest?

Not the dexter, for sure.

Why do some settle for less?

By believing you can. Over and over and over again.

How patient is a venus fly trap?

There is no concept of time on Venus, so nobody can tell.

Who invented water?

The same person who invented fire.

What is the average speed of a starling in flight?

Twenty five point seven furlongs per fortnight, plus or minus a few coconuts.

What is the escape velocity of New York City?

That depends on how many people in it ride bicycles at the same time.

Is it advisable to become a mime?

Only if you're able to secure a spot on the Seine.

What's the best way to dust a house?

Fry it in a dustpan.

How can I make better paper planes?

Use a flat surface.

What's the best use of Legos?

Writing in your diary. It will be preserved forever.

What is the best use for banana?

Throw away the fruit and slip on the peel

How do you eat a watermelon?

Bake it in an oven and inhale the evaporating liquid.

Why do snakes not have legs?

They never learned to handle their alcohol (from the cider from all the rest of the apples, of course)

How many legs does a millipede have?

Enough to get around.

Why's a banana slug called 'banana slug'?

Peanut butter on Pop Tarts I call mortar and shingles.

How is a screen image better than the real object in front of you?

It's pre-screened.

What's the fastest way through TSA?

The wall isn't to keep us out, but to keep you in.

What will you sacrifice to feel secure?

A Hi-Chew.

Why are 'personal' watermelons so small?

They chose the wrong plastic surgeons.

What is the best way to combat dust?