Oh yes. Its the shape of whats to come. I swear each year the kids get a little crazier (we do have a year now and then full of mostly well behaved kids - to be honest tho, last year I don't know if it was the fact we were out of the building half the year or something else that kept the kids so well behaved, it could just have been a great group no matter what! - but doing 9 weeks out of building, then 9 in, then 9 out, and 9 in.....hard to tell how they'd have been in the building ALL year, but I'm SURE it would have been better than THIS years group!)

I went to bed earlier (a bit) last night, but then laid there awake for what felt like forever once I turned the light off ... I'd gone in there to lay down and read and kept falling asleep (like at 9-930) so gave up and turned off the light, and was awake instead. sigh

I hate that... thinking you're tired enough to go to sleep and then just laying there. Grrr Didn't have a great night of sleeping, myself... again.

Spring is Here! Oh wait, its Vesnali is Here! :P Going to go see what new items I want/need.

Ok.. I know it's Vesnali and all but I need to vent.

I am SICK of my brother being here and leeching off of me. It's been MONTHS and he's done the dishes probably FIVE times - EVEN THO I cook for us all the time. Wait, I think that's actually 3 times. The amount of times he's let the dog out or fed him is probably 5 times.
He smokes, and I've noticed some of my clothes starting to smell like smoke. To be fair, I allowed him to smoke in here and in the car a LONG time ago, when I quit, b/c I know how it feels to be a smoker. THAT is getting to me.
He watches tv ALL DAMN DAY and well into the night.... THAT gets to me. He's pretty much on the couch ALL the time while I cook and clean all the dishes, take out the garbage and take the garbage to the curb. I mean... how fucking lazy can you get when you see me doing this EVERY.FUCKING.WEEK. and you still sit there on MY couch and watch MY tv on the streaming services that I'M paying for??????

I took a couple hours for my lunch, b/c I can. Went to several different stores (including my fav, the Asian market), and just took my time. TBH I pretty much have to take my time b/c my heel/ankle will start bothering me from the PF no matter what insert or shoes I'm wearing.
Got a new ceramic pan, which I've never used and I'm excited to try out; New flours and products from Asian market including potato starch (rather than corn starch), tempura batter to make some yummy fried stuff; And another napa cabbage so I can make kimchi again before mine runs out.

I just... don't know what to do about him. Now, here's the "why"... In a few weeks I'll be going a few hours away to do my camping. I NEED s/one to make sure the animals are taken care of during that time BUT, if I had to rely on anyone else, I would take the dog with me and ask my older bro to stop by and look after the cats and fowl (mostly the cats). Even then, I could give the kitties excess food and there's only one who would take advantage of it, lol. The fowl go about 4 days but the recent editions need water every other day.

So AGGRAVATED with him being around and sucking me dry!! I came home after my long lunch break and as I was carrying the first load in, I said "I thought you would have the dishes done by now" b/c I DID mention it the other day when I made him a breakfast he requested (over easy eggs on top of rice). Apparently he's as empty headed as the rest of the idiots I encounter frequently.

Sent him back to Walmart ONLY b/c he wanted the marinara sauce to go w/ the cheese sticks I'm going to fry up in the new pan I just got and b/c I needed some vodka too, I'm paying for his 12pk of Monster that he's obsessed with. Essentially it's $20 something to get what HE wanted (I don't NEED marinara for fresh mozz) and to drop by the liquor store which is one the way, to get him off the damn couch.

FFS!!!!!!!

Ladies... I just don't know how to handle this right now but that's also b/c I need him to watch over things when I'm a few hours away at the beginning of May.

Can't even tell you how much I enjoyed being alone - for once - for those couple hours today, listening to piano music. Still bitched at a few jackoffs on the road but for the most part, I was even keel.

I feel ya hun :( Its soooo annoying when someone doesn't help out and you are the only one (or even if you just FEEL like you are the only one) doing anything in the house. (Nathan helps out some, but its mostly me. Hubby would do some laundry and wash dishes once in blue moon - what is it with grown ass men?) - although he DID have a job and worked, not just sat on the couch. I wish I could help you decide what to do about your brother. But sometimes every choice is a lose/lose choice. If you ask/demand he help out, he may leave (yay) but then be mad at you and not help you with your animals when you arent at home (boo).... Ugh. Choices :( Dang straight if HE wants something he should go get it. Especially if he didn't ask about it beforehand. And stopping to get you something you want is only fair. Sooo frustrating!! VENT all you want at us!!

I gotta head off to Nathans appointment tho (I'll check in on my phone and try and grab more flowers haha). See you later (but soon!)

You know what? If your older brother could stop by and take care of the animals well enough, I'd give him an ultimatum. He's an grown ass man. He can man up, start helping around the house and paying for at least some of his own things, or he can go back to his own damned place. Or a tent.

You got a forum point while making a post! Check out the shop here!

Subeta agrees.

Yep.. I have a tent he can use. :P

Lol, Subeta agrees. Good one.
:D

Good Morning all! Back at our chitchat board now Vesnali is over. I hope the others come to talk! I linked this page.

I had the weirdest dream this morning. (yes, this morning. I woke at 430 to use the bathroom and fell asleep again surprisingly!) I was driving in the dark, trying to get somewhere (to school maybe?) and I couldn't see ANYTHING on the road, no lines, no lights no nothing in my car - and I kept hearing weird sounds. So I stopped the car at this stop sign and got out my phone flashlight to look in my car. Some lady WALKED by and looked at me like "do you need help" type of look and I yelled at her that I was fine, I just was looking for my cat, and sure enough - there was my cat in my car! So I got back in my car, and the cat crawled up in my face as I turned the car on, and told myself I needed to take the cat back home. Then as I attempted to turn the car around and drive again, I woke up. :P WEIRD!

Afternoon or morning.

Hope we all had a lovely vesnali.

hahaha, Kat that is a strange dream! I have strange dreams all the time, I always forget what they were about but sometimes you do wake up and think, what is my brain doing?!

I am beat! I had taken today off to have a nice day of doing things because I've been working so hard at uni but I ended up having to use it to finish off my assignment 😢 On the plus side, I have finished my first draft! Just have to do all of my referencing and tweaking now but I have til 1pm on Friday to do that and I can cope with small amounts of work on evenings. Writing on evenings is a no go. Being a therapist is tough on your brain because you have to concentrate hard all day and by night time I just don't have any brain power left! I've got another 5k essay due in at the end of May so I'll be straight on to doing that but hopefully I'm now in the zone and I can get on top of that one quicker than this one! There's a couple of bank holidays in May so at least I'll have a few extra days to work at it. Thanks for listening to my ted talk!

Taarna, it really sounds like you are having a tough time with your brother. I think you should kick him out. I know that's easy for me to say because he's not my brother but he's taking the pee and now you're feeling resentful. You will find someone to look over the animals, if he wasn't around you would have had to. You don't have to put up with his behaviour just because he's related to you either, we are all allowed to protect ourselves from toxic behaviours. He needs to either make an effort to improve his situation or get out. I just scrolled back and I agree with Mieke, get him a tent if you have to!

snugs Luce Did you set up a billboard by any chance?!

I love your dream experience, Kat. I'm surrounded by SO many people that don't think they dream (i.e. don't remember them) that it's so nice to share dreams w/ my daughters, mostly my youngest as we have some really vivid dreams.

Did you ever get the grade situation resolved?

The phone issue - First let me say thank you to the responders. <3 I know it's not easy trying to give advice to an internet stranger but I do appreciate it. I felt pretty exhausted yesterday after Bria left - who got up close to 4. :P Went to the store to grab a couple things, came back and had a few drinks while making some rice balls. Ate some, packed most for her and helped her get packed back up. Had a salad, another drink and started drifting off to sleep. So after more thoughts over the weekend about the whole issue, I think it's best I send him the phone, the prepaid box/shipping label and also my phone to him so he can mail them both back at the same time (our old phones). He may be on my contract, but we don't share data or anything else so that's why it's just as much as mine. I don't trust that I'll be able to pay anything less than full price for the "leased" phone and even if I cut him off, I will still have to pay monthly to pay off that phone.

I'm just mad that I got trapped in this mess b/c the little jackass was SUPPOSED to have his shit together by now. He's 42 working on 43 in a few months and can't afford to pay his house bills b/c he doesn't want to get a job until the court stuff is over about having his child support dissolved since their mother died. I mean, my brothers have meant everything to me and while they don't get along anymore, I've pretty much always had great connections to them. But now my older brother is stuck working endlessly to provide for his young wife and new baby when he's 52yrs old and I've spoken to him ONCE this year, and my younger bro decided to take advantage of my kindness and basically live off of me.
It would also mean a LOT if he showed a LOT of appreciation for ALLLLLL the things I've done for him since our dad passed away a couple years ago.
Asshole. Ugh.

That's my rant/decision. 😔

[edit] You dropped in with a whole bunch while I was still typing. :P He's actually mooching off of a friend in another state right now and will be there for at least another month or more, which is why I'm having such an issue w/ getting the new phone to him and having him send back his old one.

maybe……do you like it?.. 😀😀 it’ll be up all week

Can’t really comment about siblings. As I’m an only child. But to me he’s bang outta order.

haha, yes, I do thank you ❤

ah, Taarna that does sound like I don't have all the info. Whatever the sitch, I hope it gets sorted cos it sounds like you're getting the raw end of the deal. Obviously everyone has other things going on which impact how they behave but I do think there has to be a line somewhere!

I'm going to do one more hour on my essay and then have a break until wednesday. Roll on 5.30! 😆

Uhhh so if the child's mother died, is said child an adult/looking after themselves or child age and living with another adult person??? I would think if they are still children and not living with him he would still be obligated for child support no matter who they live with (ie Gramma or whatever). Strange situation. Hopefully brother does the right thing on the phones. Good luck.

Hey I'm glad you're curious enough to ask b/c I know I would be! :P

So, they were never married which means that she always had parental rights. It's one of the things I never agreed with in the child support system - You pay child support but you have no rights? Yes, that's a fact. Some time ago, she signed a waver of dismissal - which is s/thing I did w/ my first husband so I know what it is - of past due child support. They start by taking away your license, which is what they did to him several years ago. Ok, so how is he supposed to work?? Then they put you in jail... umm, again, how are they going to pay it back? His license was taken away years ago and he's been fighting to get that straightened out; she did a forgiveness of payment thing but it's been lost in the courts for YEARS. Now, this is the uncomfortable part. She was an addict and that's why she's no longer here. Wasn't a needle type drug, which is why I didn't call her the typical "crackhead". Thought she was more of a pill popper but I don't really know. My brother did, who lived w/ her for a long time and he tried to warn me, but I honestly never saw it. She was fun, kind, warm and had a loving personality. (For context, her mom got her on drugs and her sister was/is an addict, also. Her sister got her shit together.)
Apparently - b/c I was only hearing as much as my brother wanted to tell me - she got in deep shit for her drug use, finally got her kids taken away from her and it was right before everything shut down so they were and still are in foster care ------------- there are a few more moments of time in this stuff but it's a bit more text than I'm willing to put down at this time --------- fast forward this year, she gets better and what do addicts do, go right back to the level that they were before they cleaned out which = OD. What pisses me off is that they actually gave the kids back to her a few months before this happened. Like... bang head on brick wall THAT is our system and that is why I felt pity for him after our Dad passed b/c I was with him when they came and took them.

Our child services agencies are literally, so FRAKKED up. 😠 It wouldn't have stopped her from doing what she did but they wouldn't be in foster care for years and years.

Ahhh. But if they were put in foster care, well never mind. If your brother didn't have a job and wasn't paying support than I guess they wouldn't put the kids with him. I agree the parental right thing is screwy. It always freaks me out a bit because I worry if Shane was to get some girl pregnant and they break up and she doesn't let him/us see the kid. Would break my heart. I feel dads should have as much rights as moms. Dad's families too. Now that's not to say pay child support and never see your kids! No way. If you are paying you should be allowed visitation unless there is a damn good reason why not. I do believe dad's should get paternity test if they are unsure. Because I also believe it is wrong for a man to have to pay for a child and raise it if it's not his. (Unless he knowingly makes that choice). [edit] I know all situations are different, but I just cannot fathom how a parent wouldn't do anything they could for their child. Like, sorry, but if I was in your brothers shoes, and my kids were put in foster care, I would have been scrambling to get them placed with me. I would do ANYTHING to get my family members children out of foster care should they ever be put in. Thats just how I am. I know everyones situation is different, and some people just cannot do that, even if they would want to. Or want to but are unable or not allowed to.... Or they may just not want to and that's ok too. I'm just saying for ME....that's what I would be doing. [edit] Also, no, nothing has been said/done about the grade yet. I went back and looked and I did see it right, it says it was manually entered, on the 23rd. I also see where the "curve" is 10% on the grading criteria - but I swear I never saw that on there before. She will hopefully email me back soon with an explanation.

happy birthday lovely lady. Will send gifts after I have finished work. Xx

Happy Birthday !! <3

Oo Happy Belated Bday, !! Hope you had a wonderful day!

Trying out my new multi-focal contacts and I'm actually pretty amazed! Contacts have come SO far, although I would still rather get laser done... just can't afford it now w/ the new car payment. For question's sake, I'm near sighted but when I wear contacts or glasses, I can't read things up close. These contacts allow for the broader range I need w/ my astigmatism. Gonna try them out for a bit and decide whether or not I want to use my insurance for glasses or contacts. I'll probably get a better pair of glasses w/ out the bifocal part b/c I would rather just take them off than to see in limited direction as peripheral is WAY better w/ contacts.

Kat, you are VERY right in your thinking. First, it's absolutely not fair to make a dad pay child support but only give exclusive rights to the mother. Now that she's gone, there should be absolutely no reason to keep them in foster care when they have a biological parent that they WERE living with while the mom was in rehab. (Then these morons gave HER back the kids when she was "clean" and it took all of 2mths before she OD'ed.) It pisses me off that he didn't get his shit together FOR THE KIDS.

My vaca week is next week and the forecast is showing a lot of rain. That's the last thing I want to deal with in camping. Ugh...

[edit] In the middle of trying to find a new PCP (primary care physician). The list that Anthem sent me was full of urgent care doctors, substance abuse doctors and places that didn't do PRIMARY CARE. FFS!! How hard is it to keep your shit up to date! Called back again, explained the problem and we were going through the list .... They just called back. BRB

I never can remember if its near-sighted or far-sighted. But I don't see well at a distance so guess far? :P Like small print, I have to be close to see it. Street signs for example. I was told I should wear mine all the time, but I haven't worn them in almost two years hahaha. Gosh only knows what that did to my eyesight. But I mean, mask or glasses? Mask is required. I never could figure out how to keep my glasses from fogging up or catching on the mask so I gave up the glasses as I can still see just fine, just can't read well at a distance. - Oh and I guess sometimes I think I'm further away from things than I actually am ;) I scare hubby getting too close to cars in front of me sometimes. (like, at stop signs/red lights)

WAIT. So they were living with him and then he up and ran off to Tennessee instead of trying to get them back after mom got them back and then passed? OMG> Dead brother. I'd kill him.

Hopefully it does not rain too much on your camping trip. That would NOT be fun.