Always use anxiety, anger and greed mix in a three-two-one ratio.

Why call it butter lettuce, if it doesn't come from cows?

Because the addition of pulverized demon seed gives it a certain delicate consistency.

What are the five things you need to know when opening a small business?

Calling anti-matter hazardous is an understatement.

Say Chief, who is Judge Crater?

.rats a gnilggij touhtiw rewolf a kcip tonnac uoy

The universe has such sights that aren't in the visible spectrum.

What, only Van Gogh is entitled to a beard?

Everyone else is entitled to pastilles.

How many blue whales are there?

There are as many blue whales as there are stars in our solar system.

Why do we cry when we're sad?

If we didn't our heads would literally explode.

What is the biggest mammal?

It has happend that a Terminator is sent too far back in time.

Why can't guys say no?

because they're in a german immersion classroom! (nein!)

why do zebras have stripes?

they don't! you just have grass in your eyes! wipes

why is the cheese moldy?

Because cows go moo.

Why are frogs slippery?

Their mommies and daddies never taught them any different.

What is the top speed of the fastest land vehicle?

Warp factor 14.1 ...

Why are plants green?

Fungus envy.

Why should you always wear a seat belt?

Because u could fall through the floor. Why is 1+1 1000.

because the windows are open.

who wrote harry potter?

Agatha Christie

Are you doing this for forum boxes`?

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.

Are you?

glowing stick

Did you catch them all?