A quarter turn to the left, because a quarter turn to the RIGHT alerts the Sewer Police.

What piece of furniture should I put in the new living room?

Being homesick requires having a home.

How long before antitechnology becomes fashionable?

64 miles. You should start counting miles after you turn left where the old church used to be.

Why are there no more dinosaurs?

They all built a huge spaceship and flew to another galaxy.

Why do we see the moon during daylight sometimes?

That's not the moon. It's her crazy deformed twin-sister escaped from the attic. The moon is alert all night but during the day she is sleepy and relies on the lazy and very seducible sun.

What's the story, morning glory?

The likes of Richard Bong will never be seen again, dogfighting is a thing of the past.

Why doesn't anyone question that the planets revolve around the sun counterclockwise?

Because you should expect there to be slight discomfort at the site of the injection.

Why don't more people marry in Autumn?

Because if you read one chapter of the Bible per day you run out in September. And the last thing you read was Revelation. Brrrrrrr.

Why do clocks run clockwise?

Its better to be miserable alone, than miserable with someone.

How come there are no games where you can only die once?

Well , in 1846 an international patent for "Revolver Roulette" (known more commonly in Anglophonic regions as Russian Roulette, and in Russian as ЧTO) seemed to prevent other games from using the single-fatality game mechanic. There was a brief but vocal public outcry in the late 70's through the 80's - primarily in the United States, where the infringing game was designed and released - when a game called Dungeons and Dragons appeared to be violating the property (famously, a Chick Tract was produced in defense of the patent), and while it turned that no infringement was intended, the lawsuits and endless editorial back-pedaling (the game is in its fifth revision now) seems to have dissuaded other game publishers from challenging or even brushing too close to that original IP.

How's the weather there, next poster..?

It just so happens that the Incorrect Answer applies to and both, even though (or perhaps especially because) the latter is cheating.

raises one eybrow You are alive right now.

What do you find at the end of a rainbow?

At the end of the rainbow, I found skint leprechaun who, in lieu of the traditional unspoken folkloric monetary offering, instead gave me a rambling gripe about fairytale recession, magical inflation, and ettercaps, but in the end seemed to be a bit sheepish and did teach me a way to accidentally blank-post whilst trying to figure out how to get cyrillic characters to post correctly on the forums. This astounding power comes with no small amount of responsibility, which the leprechaun then went on about in some detail. :|

He went on for so long, in fact, that someone caught me editing my post! How embarrassing!

So anyway, how is the weather down there, next poster?

Peanuts.

Why are you not allowed to give honey to children under age 2?

Some people have a misunderstanding of nutrition, there are toxicities for everything.

Will people who saw Halley's comet in 1986 live long enough to see it again?

Of course! Seeing the comet once gives you the ability to call it back by saying its name. Nobody has yet, because they're all saving it for special occasions!

How do you get apple juice from apples?

A romantic candlelight dinner works for most. Some, you only have to ask politely.

How to build a wolf-proof house?

Reinforce with the souls of fallen gingerbread men.

What do you want for breakfast?

I'm unable to give you my name, it's not even a word.

Why is time the only use of base-60?

The first bin; it has comics A-G from 1950 to 1970.

Why should you beware of Japanese Hornets?

You don't need any fancy high tech weapon to kill stars, just a big enough chunk of iron.

If someone says they don't like new things, aren't they defying that from the start?