Granted. But he meets the new dog and he eats grass, because the new dog eats grass, and the grass has a substance in which your dog will have the urge to once again, be not house trained.

I wish I could fly~

Granted, but your blind so you keep running into trees and buildings.

I wish I had long fingernails.

Granted, but they are so long that you are not able to do what you wanted.

I wish not to gain weight when I eat.

Granted but they're so long that you want to cut them, but they grow back

I wish that I would stop procrastinating and start my comic book

Granted, but you only read the first page, then forget about it.

I wish it was March.

Granted, but then it decides it shouldn't have to and puts all the dirt back.

I wish I had some ice cream(:

Granted, but it's all melted. Should've specified for it to be cold! :P

I wish I could buy a new pair of jeans.

Granted, but it gets knocked out of your hand and all over the floor.

I wish I could walk through walls.

Granted, but walls (and everything else) can also walk through you. People constantly steal your blood vessels and teeth now. :/

I wish I had an iTunes giftcard.

Granted, but you can't decide what to spend it on.

I wish I had a sweetie to share Valentine's Day with.

Granted, but the sweetie is a 45-year-old pedophile.

I wish I had nice fingernails.

Granted, but your toe nails are horrible. Just horrible.

I wish my knuckles weren't cracked and bleeding. D=

Granted. But those are the last moments you can ever have on the computer.

I wish there were more Gold Account Medals in the Millionaire Center. :(

Granted, but the are so very expensive that you could save forever and never have enough.

I wish my room was clean.

Granted, but a tornado comes through within 5 minutes, and now your room is an even bigger mess than before.

I wish I were richer, smarter, prettier, more popular, a generally better person, and more talented.

Granted. But you get too fat from the lack of exercise and the floor caves in underneath you...but you continue playing on the computer.

I wish I wasn't sleepy. :(

Granted, you cheat to get them and get frozen two hours later.

I wish my PC could run all games perfectly on the highest graphical settings and would not have any viruses or other malware, and nothing bad would happen.

Granted, but you get so behind on work that you have to forgo vacations for a year.

I wish I had a snow day

Granted, but you make a lot of typos.

I wish the weather was warm and sunny.

Granted, but the weather gets too warm and melts the polar ice capes in turn flooding the world.

I wish my mom would make me something to eat.