Granted, but it only works in the winter.

I wish I didn't have this exam on Thursday.

Granted. Now it's tomorrow. D:

I wish I didn't have to work as a waitress anymore.

Granted; you're now the janitor in the same facility. I wish I had a cup of coffee.

Granted, but it THERE'S A BEAR IN IT. I wish I could finish a novel.

Granted, but it's the worst selling novel in history.

I wish I could live in a tree. :3

Granted but the tree is covered in blood sucking parasites the size of your head.

I wish I had super powers.

Granted: Seeing as the government doesn't approve of your super abilities, they lock you up in Area 51 and perform tests on you until you die of old age.

I wish I could get a job.

Granted, but you have to work in the sewers. I wish I had a hamster.

Your wish is my command, but you didn't specify which kind of hamster you'd prefer. So I got you a dead one. That came back to life. And wants to eat your face... Have fun.

I wish my internet wasn't so slow.

Granted, but now it's too fast for you so the government locks it up. I wish for my foot wasn't asleep

Granted. Your foot is now awake. And communicating with you telepathically. It will never go back to sleep again and you are stuck listening to whatever your foot manages to ramble on about.

I wish I could think of something to write.

Wish granted, but your hands morph into nubs and are unable to write.

I wish for a corndog

Granted, but it's moldy.

I wish I didn't have so much drama at work.

Finally you go to work and everyone became a robot. But your boss fires you, and you're replaced by a robot too.

I wish I could read all books in the world

Granted, but you've absorbed so much information, your mind doesn't have a place to store it all and you become crazy and forgetful.

I wish I could pay off my student loans in the next six months.

Granted, but all the money you used to pay off your loans was counterfeit, and now the federal government is after you.

I wish my cat could talk. :neko:

Wish granted, But your cat hates you and expresses this opinion by whispering in your ear in your sleep and telling all of your friends what you do when they aren't around.

I wish I had more bacon and bagels.

Granted, but after ingesting those foods you rush over to the restroom for ten hours of diarrhea.

I wish for a new wetsuit.

Granted, it's a 50 grand Kiton tailor made suit, that someone went swimming in

I wish for better eyesight.

Granted, but with your better eyesight you see that people are far uglier than you ever imagined. I wish to ace these upcoming exams.