Granted, but you end up screwing over the space time continuum so the membrane of reality we exist on ceases being.

I wish... I could get back to my home planet.

You receive A+'s in each class and get all F's because the teachers think you messed with the grades. This one was hard, I can't think of anything xD

I wish I could move back to Cali.

All my friends live in Cali. I live in Colorado now, so not a big difference in time. Good one though xD That would suck!!

Wish granted, but your board gets locked because someone posts something that isn't allowed.

[edit]

Forgot to make a wish xD

I wish I could finally get the iPod Touch.

: neither did you XD

I wish I didn't have to go back to school on tuesday =_=

Granted, but the school asploded and all your friends die. I wish... I had some chocolate!

Granted, but it's 5-years old and infested with worms.

I wish that my broken Wii which I sent to Nintendo for repairs would come back with no negative changes.

Granted, but then your computer blows up.

I wish that there was world peace.

Granted, but its only because there's a tyrannical reign of alien bureaucracy.

I wish... that my story would write itself.

Granted, but it wrote itself as the next Twilight novel.

I wish that I was better with HTML/CSS.

Edit: Late. Granted, but then it goes out of style and no one uses it anymore.

I wish I could change the color of my walls in my bedroom.

Granted, but the colors were so bright you went blind instead.

I wish... I could draw with a pencil.

Granted, but the pencil broke.

I wish it was snowing.

Granted, but then it keeps snowing and that is all you will ever know.

I wish that my boyfriend would call.

Granted, but he called to tell you he's gay.

I wish... I could spell.

Granted but you play it all the time and starve to death.

I wish I had a fire-breathing horse.

Granted, but he burns down your house. I wish I could be a werewolf.

Granted but someone shoots you with a silver bullet.

I wish it wasn't so cold outside.

Granted. It's now cold INSIDE. And you can't leave the house.

I wish I had some marshmallows.

Granted, but the marshmallows are old and you wouldn't want to get sick, would you? Dx

I wish I had three dollars right now. Then I could go buy some chips. xD

Granted, but it's monopoly money. No chips for you. I wish I had night vision!