I've been swallowing my mouthwash every day since I was 8 with no ill effects.

I've been on Subeta for one year so far.

I hate my mother.

Mine gknow where unicorns live. They were far easier to find than any southpaw'd woman...

I have kittens in the closet.

free themmmmmm

I have a crush on wormtongue from lotr

The wrapping matters more than the gift inside.

Being President of the United States is the least stressful job in the world.

I can turn rocks into ice cream with my mind.

I eat pinecones.

A Vioran Soldier like mine iz immune to vampirism, what flows in mine veins isn't really blood.

(Whoever bit mine found out the hard way...)

My hovercraft is full of eels.

I'm allergic to football

There are southpaw'd ladies in the world.

(That is a lie, an mine gknow it.)

May I ask what that means?

I was the inspiration for Coconut Head from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.

As a precaution, mine had overhauled mineself removing the superfluous heart from this obsolete chassis.

You're a dexter mine trust? They could never understand that...

I can write perfectly with both hands as well as both feet.

I can venture a guess what you mean but didn't want to assume, but it seems significant because I've seen you say it multiple times

Rabbits are carnivores and regularly feed on foxes.

Mine have no center of gravity.

The Lorax just broke into my house and tried to sell me a cursed potato chip.