You guys need a little bit of background on this:

I met this man two years ago. He was a city bus driver (he no longer works for the city. He took his pension). He's married and we decided to be friends with benefits. At first (when his wife was still living with him), he would only come over once a month to get his jollies off. When his wife moved down south (he didn't want to move), he was starting to come over twice a week and began to make me miserable. It was the same routine, nothing changed. I told him I can't get excited because my doctor upped my dosage of Cipralex and that I had a hard time following through sexually.

He just wouldn't listen. I was to the point where I was so annoyed, I called it off this summer. It was going on for two years.. that's long enough, especially when I feel that part of me is "broken". There is a lot of other things to, like.. some of the things he says make me angry. For instance, last summer, I was with my mom at Starbucks and he sent me a text asking if I could meet him. I said no, I was with my mom and he replied "how would your mom like to watch me give you an o". He says stupid stuff like that all the time.

I still have him on facebook and I've asked him repeatedly to stop talking about sex, that it does nothing for me. Again, he has a thick skull and can't seem to get that through to his head. He said to me last night "You need to get that p***y looked after" I'm sick and tired of that kind of BS. My online friend has told me to delete him countless of times and so has my mom. I feel that I can't bring myself to do it. How can I delete him without feeling guilty when Ive already asked him to stop?

P.S. He was over last week and was begging me to preform an act. I did it, of course, cause I'm that stupid. He wouldn't take no for an answer.

You guys give good advice.

Stop associating with him. Delete, block, change phone number, and move. Basically? Get him out of your life entirely. If you feel guilty or other kinds of negative emotions? Ride out the feelings and remember why you are cutting off contact. Do NOT act on the second-guessing thoughts of "Just one message." "Just one time." "It wasn't that bad, maybe I should apologize?"

Ditch him and be done with it. You have a backbone, show it by refusing him rather than continuing this very unhealthy dynamic.

Also, I repeat this advice from earlier conversations. See a therapist.

[EDIT] That last bit sounded too sharp, but there are a very many issues you can get help with a therapist. It would be a chance to work through that feeling of broken, and make decisions on what you really really want rather than just going along.

He tried passing me off to one of his buddies last year.

My mom keeps telling me that he's not a friend. He's just using me to get his jollies off. She also says he has a wife to do things to and doesn't need a pretty young thing to play with.

I have a psychiatrist that I see once every three months. I talk to him about this "friend" of mine.

But, how can I bring myself to blocking and deleting?

Your mother is very much right. He is using you, and it is time to take back that control.

[EDIT] Sorry didn't see you edit your post. Once every three months is not enough in my eyes. Think of talking to a friend for one hour every three months. Do you think you would really understand much about what is going on in their life? Do you think you could make sound suggestions on how she deals with her problems or provide insight into the roots of those problems?

Also for blocking. Try writing down a list of every thing that has hurt you emotionally keep the list in sight when you force yourself to hit the buttons. If you waver read it out loud and listen to yourself. Remember to treat yourself to something after blocking/deleting! A favorite novel, movie, dessert, that kind of reinforcement.

I'm assuming his wife doesn't know and/or is okay with the two of you? If he's cheating on her, then that is a HUGE red flag. It already shows he doesn't have much respect for the woman he is with before you.

The second thing is you're "friends with benefits" which is a no strings attach kind of thing. In this case he is clearly more interested in the benefits then any true friendship.

Another red flag is the fact he isn't respecting what you want. I don't know him, but he sounds disgusting. The thing about having your mom watch, what.. like ewwww.

You should dump him, seriously. Delete his number, block him on Facebook.

He asks frequently about how my other parts are doing. When we first met, I was dumb enough to send him pictures. I stopped that a long time ago. He asks for them once in awhile, but I say no.

No, his wife doesn't know. She also doesn't know he has a fake FB account just so he can talk to me. I was thinking about sending his wife an anonymous message, but I was told from another person that's a bad idea.

I'll try that.

Good! Let me know how it goes?

I completely agree with everything has said. Like, to a T, haha! You just need to think about what's best for you, and if this pig of a man is making you feel like nothing but an object to satisfy his desires you need to get out of this. I know it's difficult to just go completely cold turkey -- but not seeing him anywhere, or speaking to him will alleviate a lot of your guilt -- which I would really, really try not to feel because this dude is clearly a huge asshole.

This is a heinous cliche, but you can do so much better. You deserve someone who will treat you like a person, and who isn't married (which is a whole other bag of cats...), and who wants you for you, and not just what's between your legs.

You've learn a few things the hard way, but you've gained wisdom about guys like him. You will find someone so much better one day.

This guy is a straight up piece of shit. You need to cease all contact with him like last week. Block him and his friends, even if you aren't friends with them so that way they can't talk to you on facebook. If you haven't already made your profile private, do so now. You do not deserve this at all.

You also need to see a therapist way more than every 3 months. You will get through this -hugs-

Sever all ties with him immediately. Delete him off your FB and then block him. Do not answer his calls/texts (block him if your phone can do that).

This guy does NOT respect you. You must understand that. You should NOT feel guilty for removing a toxic person out of your life. He sees you as a piece of meat. Do NOT let him get away with this.

Be prepared to get the police involved in case he tries to stalk you/show up at your home.

you are worth more than this. Get rid of that LEECH.

Should I tell him that I don't think our friendship is working out and that I don't want him talking to me anymore?

He sounds disgusting. I would cut all contact with him. It doesn't sound like he respects you at all.

You don't have to say anything to him honestly, but if you would feel better about saying that nice, concise sentence, I think that's fine. Stand firm. Don't be manipulated by him, and don't take no for an answer (he most likely will whine and try to convince you not to go. That's what abusers do). Be strong. You owe him ZERO explanation.

I felt sick reading this, because something almost exactly like this happened to me. X:

I definitely agree that it would be best to cut off contact with him, especially if you think that you might 'fall back into old patterns' just to appease him in the moment (as mentioned at the end of your opening post). I wasn't able to say anything when I decided to shut the door on that part of my life, but if you think that it would sit better with you to say something in closure, then make sure to draw the line very very clearly. Even if he doesn't 'get it' - as Magic mentioned above, he will likely try to guilt you into 'taking it back', it can be a good way to make what you're saying absolutely clear. Because you're not wanting to take a break for a while - you're wanting to block off a toxic person from your life.

If you want to talk about it at all, feel free to inbox me c: Even if you just need someone to trash talk to, privately.

Thank you. I still haven't deleted him off FB yet. Last summer, I told him I'm tired of him expecting something all the time and he said "Well, that's what it's about". No. It's about being friends with added benefits. Not for you to come over twice a week, every week in a month. I've told him time and time again that I have a hard time getting aroused... I'm just not into it anymore. But yet, he keeps at it.

For me, moving definitely isn't an option.

I had feelings for this douche bag at the start. I honestly don't know what I saw in him.

He doesn't seem to be particularly aware of the 'friends' part of the whole situation, which is ... really frustrating. He doesn't exactly seem like someone who is respectful of others' boundaries and feelings - just another reason to cut him loose, honestly. I know that as much as you're tired of it, you're going to have periods afterwards where you will feel like you did something wrong or stupid by calling it all off. I felt like that for a very long time (sometimes I still do), but this is one of those times you really need to put your foot down and be selfish. He's used you for his personal benefit way too much, for way too long, and the fact that it's making you suffer (and he doesn't care) is such a clear sign that it's time to end it...

Yeah, you shouldn't have to move to avoid him. That's not fair.

Getting rid of this guy is crucial to building a better self-esteem for yourself. This guy knows you have emotional issues, isn't helping you with them but is making them worse, and is using them to get his jollies off (I like that expression!).

I think most of all you should understand that you CAN get healthier, it's a slow upward cycle which involves improving things bit by bit, but that a healthier you would never put up with that trash, which is ultimately keeping you down. This guy seems to have no qualms about ruining your life.

You should also ask yourself what is it about you that wants to consider him a friend. What do you gain, mentally or emotionally from communicating with him? Be honest with yourself.

ugh some men just suck. i don't really have any advice other than what your mom and friend have said about deleting him, but i really hope he stops talking to you because he sounds like a complete pest, with no understanding of boundaries. ):

I talked to him last night and pretty much asked him to stop. He said he was "sorry" and that he'll stop.