Yes block his real account and any other account/method of contact you have with him.

Seconding this. Scorch the earth and salt the fields. Remove and reject all forms of contact.

, I really hope it doesn't either. That'd be a horrible situation for both you and his wife.

This is great news! You deserved so much better! <3 <3

Well at least you know now, loud and clear, that he never viewed you as more than a piece of meat. : Now is definitely the time to start throwing dirt over that part of your past. Honestly, even if he does try to 'fix it' again, etc etc - what good could ever come from it?

If you haven't blocked his real FB account, you should. For me, as someone viewing from the outside, there's absolutely no reason to allow him to be connected to your life anymore. As I've mentioned before - cutting him loose will hurt, because this whole situation was a significant thing while it was happening. But someone like that will never, ever change. It will just keep hurting you.

It's time to focus on yourself, without having to consider his (or I mean really anyone's but you know) responses or opinions. You deserve to be able to live your life the way you want to, and to be able to focus on your health and your interests. A person like that - a person like he is - will never truly lift you up and push you to a better, smarter, safer place.

He's back with his fake account D:

This guy super gross.

Do you still have it removed from your FB? Honestly, there truly is a point where you decide enough is enough, and I believe we are far beyond that. Did you ever remove his 'real' account from your friends list?

This is why I'm telling you that he's trying to go back to using you. In my eyes, it's a game to manipulate you back into obedience to his whims. I feel that you need to step up and take control of your own life rather than being passive and then being distressed at the results of that passivity. What I want you to do is block his account and any other account and have no further contact with him. Now. I've said it before, and it is well past time to actually follow through. You say I give good advice. Take the advice given by so many on this thread. You can do this. You really really can, but only you can make him stop.

If you MUST talk to him again (I strongly discourage it) say it blunt and to the point. No additions, no follow up. I don't give a damn if it's rude or that it's hard for you to say. "Leave me alone."

If that doesn't work and he comes creeping around again: Threaten to tell his wife if he doesn't leave you alone completely, and make/keep a record of you communications to show him if he calls you out on it as proof you'd follow through. Blackmail but he strikes me as a coward in that sense, and it may help.

I agree with everyone. However, it would be important to question yourself: What are (or were) your motivation to engage in this relationship? What was it filling before it turned out of control? How do you feel right now? : about going back and about cutting ties.

As much as I would love if you severed ties with him, it looks like you still care about him to a certain point. If you are unable to delete him, it means something ...

Right, but he's a married man. I'm starting to worry more about the wife who's being disrespected, cheated on and yanked around by all of this. There was a comment earlier that she thought, "FINALLY," when the wife caught on and started asking questions. Why does it have to be the wife who has to suss this out and put an end to it? Why can't realize what she's doing isn't helping anyone and be assertive and just put an end to this roller coaster?

The guy just turns up, has sex(? I think?) and leaves. That's all he wants you for, . And you can do better than some married butthole who has no respect for you, his wife and probably women in general. Sexual partners who DON'T mistreat you and DON'T have committed, monogamous relationships they're breaking are out there. You don't have to rely on this guy to give you that. Or anything else you enjoy from him. There are better, nicer people who aren't hurting everyone around him (or her!) that you can find.

Block all attempted contact with impunity. If he keeps trying, tell him you'll call the cops. If he keeps going after that, actually call the cops.

I agree with your point. But the thing is that even if we all camp out on her and keep telling her what we think she should do, it ends up being her own decision. What I've learned from working with physically/sexually abused woman is that their partner somehow bring them something - no matter how small it is. She obviously knows what's up and she must feel something for the wife. It's doesn't mean that she wants to cut ties right now. You can't force people to do something, especially if they are not willing to do it. I'd personally cut ties and even tell the wife. But she's her own person. I would suggest her to meet a social worker and a therapist to discuss what is happening and what comes after severing ties or pursuing a relationship.

There is a big difference between saying something and acting. I agree with you but I also think of something else.

It's reached a point where I agreed with most of all. Gotta stop being passive! Don't let others have to wrangle the situation you are fully capable of handling! Step up! I believe in you!

This guy is just no... just no. I've been there, done that (the guys were single, but still). Guys like this one only care about themselves, especially since he's married.

Everyone here is right: don't respond to him and walk away. It hurts at first, but it's for the best.

Actually I'm not surprised he's contacting you again, but you have to realize you have power in this situation. You have the power to choose. Is this someone you want in your life?

Once again, the wonderous has said anything and everything I would. Completely agree with her post, and it's time you step up and follow through if you truly want to sever ties and be done with this tard of a man, and mess of a 'relationship.'

Make sure you block him on any and all accounts, tell him if he does not stop talking you will be pressing charges.

Never go with a "friends with benefits" thing with anyone. It always comes down to you just being used and feeling like crap in the end. Nothing good ever comes out of it. This man has a wife he should be paying attention to and not running around with others. The man isn't faithful and wont even be with you.

Never go back, never think of it for even a second. You'll be better off with a real boyfriend that actually cares about you and don't see you as a sex toy.

Those are important questions to ask, and the answers do need to be found. I agree with you on that and on the choice ultimately belonging to . I think they were good additions to this sea of advice, and should be given due consideration. :3 I think the sticking point I have is how you post ended is very open to interpretation.

Thanks lovely people! I believe in her too and I know that she can do it if she commits herself to taking her life in her own hands. Whether to act or not is all up to her. :*

I'm merely having a social worker pov atm. That's what I am studying and what I want to be later in my life. In domestic violence (and seeing all forms of abuse), we learn that we work with very powerful women. Some of them can see the cycle, some of them know what's going on but they chose to go back to this same environment, some of them leave as soon as we can shelter them in one of our facilities. I've seen countless of them going back: the partner offers financial stability and protection, for the kids, because they are afraid, because they love him or the feeling of being loved .. etc.

What I wonder is how feels right now. This man has been in her life for quite some time now. We can see just from her OP that she has issues with the sexual part of the relationship, but she stills welcome him. What makes her welcoming him? Is it love? Lust? Is she afraid? Those are very personnal and I wouldn't say them online. She needs to talk to someonw that has experience (neutral as much as possible).

She needs to think about where she is right now. Everything could have ended as soon as he deleted his fake? Facebook. He came back and obviously she pinged people instead of ignoring him. See? There is something going on. That's all. While I agree with everyone, that's not how I convince people to do something. Yes, it sounds fucked up but that's not what I learned. @ Dot

I feel that I can't block him because I'm looking for a father figure. I want someone who will do things with me and take me places. I honestly don't know why I can't step up and take control of my life. All I really want is a friend. He brings me lunch sometimes, or gives me a little bit of money when I ask for it. The last time he brought me lunch, he said "Let me guess. Don't expect anything". I know he's a loser and isn't good for me. I just don't understand why I can't go into my settings and block him.

Because there are things that holds you back, even if you really want to block him. Have you thought about talking to a social worker? Not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but a social worker. Get another perspective, seek another type of help. I stayed with someone that was very violent and abusive for years. Seeking help really helped me and I was able to step away. As I said, I'm not going to tell you to sever ties and block him: you obviously are not ready to do it. Shove my 2cents on you won't help. All I can say is that you may find some very helpeful tips from a social worker that works with abused women (you can find a lot of them in Canada). You'll have support as well.