How do you think his wife would feel about all of this if she knew the whole scope of things? Do you think about how your prolonged, conscious helplessness is probably, actively hurting her, even if she doesn't know it yet? Why can't you seek out someone who doesn't have those entanglements? Why are you so blasé about enabling a liar and a cheat?

Also, you're seeking a father figure in someone that you've boned. That's not good.

Block him. Do it. He's not going to give you what you want and certainly not what you need.

I think part of what is getting at is that should come to that decision when she can leave out of strength and can feel some hope for the future. Not out of guilt and negative feelings for herself, which may just result in a worse spiral into depression than before.

I know you feel strongly about all this but you, as a stranger, are putting her personal feelings in the worst light which is harmful to someone with low self esteem to begin with. It's perfectly common for young girls to seek a father figure in a romantic partner and while it may not be healthy, no amount of judgment can change their feelings the way self-understanding can.

People you seek for a sexual/romantic relationship are supposed to be partners, not parents. Wanting that is unfair to your partner and a little warped and I'm not sure why it's a bad thing to point that out. It's something that can't be corrected by just talking to us on a game forum, certainly; that's gotta get sorted by a therapist and a lot of introspection and self-improvement.

And sticking with this man who is undoubtedly a garbage animal (disrespecting two women at once! Probably more? Probably all women he knows, based on how he treats these two?) is not going to help. And staying with him isn't going to improve her self-worth either, not one bit.

The thing that may help is challenging the word "can't" when it pops up in your mind. It's basic CBT, but changing the conversation in your head can go a long way. Taking responsibility for your own thoughts and actions is a huge part of making any change. Logically you know this guy is no good for you. Changing the way you think may help change the way you feel. Also seeing a social worker as suggested has merit. They likely have a different point of view and the training to back it up. We here can only give advice when asked.

Realizing the impact/consequences of your actions as I believe was pointing out, is important. Choices made out of guilt suck. (I'm not debating that ) but considering yourself as the only victim in the situation when you are enabling the damage to someone else is not going to help make any informed choices in your own life. When you're examining yourself as suggested? Take a minute to look at your choices and try facing those things you are responsible for, and accept those that you are not. It's a lot. It's never easy. It is a grueling process. But in the end you have two choices you must someday face: sever contact and move on, or continue the miserable cycle. Knowing where you can change your choices is a powerful thing when facing that crisis. Your choices are your own.