Kittens with sad eyes.

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

13 naked mole rats

where do raisins come from?

You don't wanna know.

How can a bird fly faster than a plane?

They flap reaaaalllllllyy hard.

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

The left dominant lobsters have two rubber bands on that claw.

This man ruined my life, how do I receive him?

With bluebells , cockleshells and pretty maids all in a row.

What happens after a wide receiver makes a touchdown?

I don't know, I can't read the cue card!

Have you ever seen it clouded like this?

Rows and flows of angel hair And ice cream castles in the air And feather canyons everywhere I've looked at clouds that way

Does every fairy tale come real?

Anger threatens unity, Hunger consumes duty, Fear clouds destiny.

Am I the only one who likes the Voltron made of vehicles?

Well, who knows. Certainly not me. I don't even know what a voltron is, much less the potential coolness of a vehicle based voltron. she lies after doing research to figure out what that is

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

It sounds kinda like a man screaming after he realizes he just ate a bug.

How many squirrels are there in your backyard right now?

Do you and I count?

hides paper human mask behind wings No, of course not.

What happened to your face?

It liked the sidewalk too much. They couldn't be kept apart.

How do laser printers work?

They're bright, but less efficient than busy-ness printers.

Would you recommend that?

Ugh! Definitely not. It has so many side effects! Like falling into a bottomless pit for no reason. I'll take my chances without it.

What should I say to that girl over there?

Tell her you like her. Also, tell her about the industrial revolution.

Do you have a dog?

Only dead would I do less.

Whose fault was it then?

Only dead would I do less.

Whose fault was it then?

It's always the ones who deny everything.

How will Trump get re-elected?