Granted. For this weekend, you have absolutely no homework. However, for the rest of the year you have a truly oppressive amount, so much that you have to pop caffeine pills every fifteen seconds to stay awake long enough to finish it all.

I wish people would stop trolling forever.

Granted, but then the internet becomes boring and no one can deal with the idiots that have taken over.

I wish I was 21 already.

Granted. To celebrate, you go on an all-night drinking binge with your closest friends. But before long, everyone's dead because they drank way to much.

I wish all traces of homophobia would disappear forever.

(I wish that too.)

Granted, but people still end up not understanding anyone that isn't straight.

I wish I wouldn't space out a lot.

Granted, you don't "space out" a lot, because that would imply "spacing in".

I wish I was a tenshioni.

Bonus points to those that actually know what that is.

(Well, based on the two words, I take it that it means angel demon? Or angelic demon? I will try my best here. xD)

Granted, but you keep struggling with what is good and what is bad and spend your whole life devoting yourself to that. Since you devote your whole life to determining what is good and bad, you do not have any time for anything else.

I wish body hair would not grow back.

Granted. It doesn't grow back. It explodes back with a vengeance. Before you are even half done removing it, it's back, thicker than ever.

I wish I could never get sick.

(And a tenshioni the way I meant comes from the deviantART story Zelda: Winged Ones, which goes into detail about the origins of the Fierce Deity, or in Japanese, Oni mask. Angel-demon is probably the best translation, though in WO, they are in perfect balance between good and evil.)

granted. You could never get sick again because: A) you got ran over by a 18-wheeler going 120mph so it's technically not possible to get sick if you're dead :( B) you're stuck as a bubble girl for the rest of your life D:

(this thread just flexes my pessimistic muscles)

...no wish to crush...

I wish I had the Wild Card ability from Persona.

Granted, but you've gone crazy being wild. I wish for a twinkie (biscuit) sniff

You recieve and eat a twinkie but it ends up burnt.

I wish I could marry Adam Levine

Granted, but he ends up not having any time for you what-so-ever.

I wish I was better at playing video games.

Granted, but your parents take away all of your gaming equipment forever.

I wish I could read peoples' thoughts.

Granted, but you read all sorts of horrible things about you, and other people's creepy sexual thoughts and fantasies...things you'd probably rather not know.

I wish I had a jacuzzi.

Granted, but lightning strikes as soon as you get in.

I wish my cat would stop being so obnoxiously loud.

Granted, but your cat starts vomiting all over everything instead. Have fun with that.

I wish I could visit all the bookstores in the world.

Granted, but none of them contain books!

I wish I had a chocolate chip cookie.

Oh, you are brutal. :( Granted, but that cookie has arsenic in it.

I wish I had the comfiest bed in the world.

Granted, but you spend so much time in there you get fired from your job, and you can't pay the bills.

I wish my work wasn't so tedious.

Granted, but the bed is located on the Tundra

I wish I had crayons.