Are you in a LDR?
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So. My boyfriend of five years and I have been in a long distance relationship for most of our time together. We have spent a good chunk of it with each other, but for several years I was two hours away, and last year I was seven. Now we live within a mile of each other, but in a little over a month I am going to be moving to New Zealand for five months. Within those five months he's going to be in the Maldives and Costa Rica doing volunteer work and studying abroad respectively.
I'm kind of afraid of going back into the whole LDR thing. Stuff got super complicated last year when we were living really far away, and even then I would drive down to see him once a month if I could. It's not like we've never done it before, it just sucks no matter how long you've been together.
So I was just wondering who else on Subeta is in a long-distance relationship, how you handle it, if you started out that way, etc. etc. Basically just wanna hear your guys's stories because I'm procrastinating on an essay and stressing myself out thinking about it. ❤
hey there! glad to hear another Subetan is also in a long-distance relationship.
well my boyfriend and I started off going to the same school, but he happened to be graduating that semester. I was kind of oblivious to him liking me for the better half of the semester, but when we finally did get together it was the best decision i'd ever made! I'm so happy with him right now, it's just amazing. we've been doing long distance for about five months now and I've seen him twice since we started in December. he made a surprise visit for my birthday at the end of January and then this week for his graduation. :] i never truly realized how hard a long distance relationship was going to be. I mean, I knew it would be difficult, but I just miss him all the time! But I know that no matter what he still loves me and we'll get through it. We skype twice a week and sometimes more just because we can. We also text each other a lot, so communicating with each is very easy for us. It's just not being around each other that makes it so difficult, but we make do with what we have and I'm just glad to have him in my life. :]
so that's my story. haha! :] kind of sappy, but it's the truth.
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I've been in two. My first started out normally, met in high school and he ended up moving away and we only saw each other once a year. It lasted for a while (about two years although we had some "breaks") but we had some other issues and I got tired of being in a long distance relationship so we broke up.
Then my current relationship started off as long distance, we met online and met up, and did long distance for about two years before I moved in with him. We lived six hours apart so I'd usually drive up to see him every month, and we'd text and skype and play video games together all the time. He was deployed for probably around 9 months of that though, and during that time we didn't see each other at all. We'd usually try to instant message every night he was able to get online, and he would call every couple of weeks. I'd send packages about every month or so too (I'm kind of bad at that kind of stuff, should have sent more :x)
Since you're both going off to pretty cool places I think it will be easier since you'll both be busy a lot and not have as much time to feel lonely. I would say try to schedule maybe one night a week to definitely talk, but don't get hung up over trying to talk every single day and miss out on doing fun stuff because you're waiting for a call. I'm not sure what the time difference is so that may be tough to organize but you can make it work. If calling regularly isn't an option, then maybe every few days send a long e-mail detailing what you've been up to. I'm not sure what kind of form of communication you guys will have, especially him since he's doing volunteer stuff but at the very worst you can do letters :P If you are able to e-mail and stuff though, I'd also suggest sending lots of pictures! Both of the cool stuff and places you see and maybe some more personal ones.
It sucks not seeing each other for a long time, but it's workable. Especially since you both have kind of a set end date and it's not indefinite. I feel that when you're unsure of when you'll see each other again or be close permanently it makes LDR a lot more stressful and harder to keep up with. I'm sure it won't be as bad as it seems, and you'll both have awesome new experiences :)
I'm in a LDR :) we've been together for over a year (14 months nearly) and it's been long distance the whole time, we met online. When I'm at university, it's about 5 and a half hours between us so there'll be 4-6 weeks (and on two occasions, it's been 7 weeks) between seeing each other because he works full time and it's expensive to do the journey. When I'm at home, it's just under 2 hours, so we see each other about every two weeks or sometimes more.
I'm able to cope just about fine with only seeing each other every 2 weeks or so but the longer stretches are really hard and I hate them. I had coursework to do over the Easter break and then I had to come back to university for exams so we're in another long stretch right now, we'll see each other on Friday for the first time in 6 weeks. I can't wait! I'll be so happy when I graduate next year and can move back home or move somewhere closer to him.
We talk every day by text and on skype (although not video calls, just the instant messaging) and text each other pictures and occasionally send each other post like cards and letters and stuff (I send much more post to him than he does back!) but I just miss having someone to cuddle a lot of the time and we don't speak on the phone so I miss his voice too.
As said, it's much easier when you have a set date of when you're going to see each other. I know my boyfriend gets annoyed at me because I'm always planning ahead and I've organised a few occasions for us to see each other between now and October already, but it's just so I know we definitely will see each other and so that he has the time taken off work so we don't have to do many more 6/7 week stretches and can limit it to 4 week gaps at the most.
I do feel bad for you for having to be in completely different countries for 5 months, I'd really struggle with that. But at least it's not forever. Is there any chance of you being able to visit each other within those 5 months?
I really enjoy reading these, guys ❤ I don't have a lot of time to reply, but they're all awesome. because of the cost of airfare, there's basically no chance unless he manages to get around $1500 randomly between the Maldives flight and the Costa Rica flight. He has a full month or so between those two trips, but there's no way he would be able to afford the plane ticket :C
I've been with my boyfriend for three years, and we lived about nine hours apart for basically the whole first year. We got together around the time I graduated high school, and then I had to move away for uni a couple months later (he had to stay with his parents to save money). It was really, really rough, because I was having an awful time at uni and missed him tons. We still saw each other once a month, but ugh. Now we've both started new universities, and it's just much better all around. We're still an hour apart even though we're in the same city :c Not really LDR, but not ideal. We wanted to live together this year, but our schools are too far apart. He usually stays at my apartment two or three days a week. Anyway, we've gotten used to it over time. We're living in separate cities over the summer, and even though I'll miss him, I know everything will be fine. I think it helps to remember that it's temporary. I always try to think about the future when we'll be living together with thousands of cats. That's definitely what got me through the first year.
Writing letters is also really helpful, because it feels more thoughtful and personal than an email. Even just silly things. He used to send me postcards that would just have a drawing of a Pokemon or something. We still write postcards to each other, it's fun c: I have them all saved up in a box.
I was sort of in a long distance relationship for three and a half years- and I mean for the sort of to go on the relationship part not the long distance part. The first year I was kind of upset, but after that it was just kind of like meh, whatever. We texted, and skyped sometimes. He visited like twice a year, then December last year moved to where I am. All that said, I'm not a big touchy-feely person or a big talker, or even a worrier. I like being alone and quiet, and just let him do whatever. I also dislike sex, and only mildly enjoy signs of affection. I'm pretty much the perfect person for a long distance relationship.
asdsfdgfh where do I start. I'm new to this LDR thing. He's my second boyfriend, the first one wasn't an LDR and it didn't work well. Mooooving on.
{ Note: He's like, 7 years older. He's 7 hours away from where I usually reside, but right now he's only 2 hours away whee!, he's super duper amaze-balls. baha. I said balls. /immature. }
I met him here, actually. He sent me an sMail, trying to get to know me out of the blue. First it was weird and sweet, 'cause he's never (?) talked in the Shoutbox before (I used to frequent there), and I've never talked to him before. Like ever. So I was being polite by replying and stuff, and I don't know. I just felt like I needed to know him more because it's not everyday you meet someone who's that interested in getting to know you, so I asked him to add me on MSN.
We chatted for like, 4 months, and we both started to like each other, I guess. I mean, we used to talk everyday for hours. It was like I've known him for years then. After that there was this big hiatus thing where for some reason, we didn't talk for like, a month. Then I started longing for his presence (!?!) and I suppose that made my heart grow fonder idk omg. I recall being hesitant to add him on Skype because I don't do that and I only have family members on my contacts haha. And then I did, and he frequented there, so I stopped using MSN. I also, remember asking him what I was to him, and he replied in a really elongated way of saying I'm his girl. And to make it official, he asked me. I said yes, of course because c'mon.
So yeah we made it official on February 1, 2013. 8D ❤️ We've been together for four months. Whee. ❤️
We handle it by throwing pictures at each other haha, and sending offline messages, as well as voice recordings, just to make it feel like they're right next to you. So far, it works. ❤️ Uhm, we cope with it by building this whole trust foundation, where in we never have to worry about one being unfaithful and stuff, and assuring each other and stuff. I say stuff a lot. Haha. I am so not sorry for the wall of text. :c
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My boyfriend and I have been in one for two and a half years, having only met each other in person once. He's in Texas while I'm London. We met on DeviantArt, I randomly added him on msn and three weeks later we were 'official'.
aww I'm in the same boat as you, my LDR bf is 8 years older than me!
My boyfriend of 2.5 years and I are in a LDR, which I am quite against, because of how complicated things can get. He's in Australia, I'm Malaysian. We weren't even in a LDR to begin with but he decided to go there to further his studies and work at the same time. We fell in love when he was in Malaysia (he was the most loving, most caring, most understanding, kindest man I knew). Since he's already gotten a PR, he is aiming for citizenship so that he can marry me and we can live "happily ever after" together in the Land-Down-Under. However, there's no such thing as a Disney-fairytale-ending since barely two months after he left, he cheated on me ;-; It was minor, there was a lot of screaming (on my part heh), we are trying to patch things up but.... somehow things just don't seem right anymore. So if I had a choice, I will never ever willingly enter a LDR. Ever ;-;
P/S: whee my boyfie is 8 years older than I am too! ^^
My LDR is 8 years and 4 months older :D I worried that our relationship seemed really abnormal because we started out long distance and there's the age gap but it seems not to be that unusual which is a relief! :)
It is great to hear everyone elses experiences, you all have some pretty impressive relationships! My bofriend and I have been long distance on two separate occasions. Once for a year (with a few visits during that time) when I moved for college, before he moved to be with me. And currently since I'm doing a study abroad, so we've been apart since February and have another month to go. Nothing too major LDR wise. ^^ And on a side note, my parents were 38 years apart, so those age differences don't seem bad to me haha.
Sorry to bother you guys but ahhh. I just found a similar height reference for the both of us because I don't know how tall 6"4 is because omg. I just got too excited and I thought I'd share it with you guys!
He's 6"4 and I'm 5"8 so yeah. I wish I was there in Australia right now. The distance part in an LDR sucks. ;_;
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Haha awwwww. I like having a height difference, it's the only time I don't mind feeling short :)
The distance part really does suck. Hopefully it won't have to be forever, that's what keeps me going :)
Ohemgah that is THE perfect couple-height-differences! You're so lucky to be 5"8 as well, I'm only at 5"6 and wish I could put on a couple more inches so I can rock them heels! :'D
I agree, the LD in a R is a right ol' killer but heyyy, which part of Australia is your partner from? Mine's currently in Blackburn, Melbourne~ ♥
Sydneyyy! ❤️ But but but but but with that difference, I can't do those surprise kisses while he's standing up and stuff. :c BUT WITH GREAT HEIGHT COMES... Well great height. Buttttt (haha, butt!) 5"6 is great if you're the type to wear heels. I don't. xD What's his height? c:
Edit, didn't see the first reply xD
Short girls are cute girls imo. u I'm glad you're very positive about this LDR thing aha! What's your height difference, with him and yeah.
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I'm 5"2 and he's 5"9 :) so he's not particularly tall either but that's fine because he's still significantly taller than I am and if he was too much taller then it might just look weird hahaha.