granted its now the end of the day, but because you skipped the boring parts, you missed a fantastic opportunity that would have changed your life.

I wish all education was free.

Granted, but everything that's taught is incorrect. (Darn, I really liked that wish too.)

I wish I had better luck with houseplants.

granted. They grow and thrive and suddenly you start hearing little voices whispering "Feeeed me!"

I wish the perfect name I thought of for a cream blob was available.

Granted but now you have no CSC to change it.

I wish I had more time for posting each day.

Granted but then you lose time for more important things

I wish I could go home early.

granted, but you lost your key and can't enter the house

I wish I had a personal chef

Granted, but chef is Gordon Ramsey and shouts obscenities at you.

I wish I was perpetually young and handsome

Granted, but your insides ages twice as fast

I wish I had free netflix forever

granted but their system crashes and everything airs in a jumbled mess except for "Fuller House."

I wish my dishwasher wasn't broken.

Granted, but then your microwave breaks.

I wish it was Friday already.

It's now Friday, but you wake up groggy on your kitchen floor and find that you hit your head quite badly and passed out. :o

I wish I could be bothered to get up and get breakfast

You do, but then you don't get up to make lunch or dinner later!

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight.

Okay, I'll get up now. xD

Now you can, but you have to purge. D: pliz don't

LOL OMG

I wish I wasn't so bloated today :(

Granted, but now you suffer from anorexia nervosa.

I wish that I had a sweater right now.

Granted, but it's threadbare, infested with fleas and three sizes too small.

I wish speaking in public didn't make me nervous.

Granted, but now you go temporarily blind to prevent the terror.

I wish I knew how to fold a piece of paper into 3 so it would fit into an envelope.

Granted, but now you don't know how to seal the envelope.

I wish I had a pet dog.

You now have a dog, but he will only live for another week. :'(

I wish dust didn't exist.

sure thing! but it's replaced with glitter.

i wish my resume/cv would update itself