Granted, you also have mustard, lettuce, tomato, pickles, and anchovies

I wish that I had a cabin in the mountains

You live in that cabin and can't escape. :o

I wish I had a billion cats.

Granted, but now you're allergic.

I wish I had someone to do my housework for me.

granted, but they bug you constantly about how you want this done, where you want to put that, and how does this work.

I wish my crackers weren't stale.

Granted, but now all of your other food is stale.

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

Granted, but you find out you have fatal familial insomnia.

I wish I had a PhD

Granted, but now you can never stop working.

I wish that I had more pets.

Granted, but now you never have any money to buy anything else. Like food.

I wish that I could travel to space.

You can go, but you won't survive more than a few seconds. :o

I wish I found it easier to make decisions.

Granted, now you make split-second decisions about everything but they're often wrong.

I wish I had a Star Trek-style transporter

Granted - but it doesn't send you to the correct places.

I wish I had a bigger house.

Granted, but you have to spend ALL your time cleaning it.

I wish I could make myself go to bed at a decent time at night.

Granted - but your bed is so uncomfortable!

I wish my phone never ran out of charge.

granted, but you drop it in the toilet, the screen cracks on the bowl and even if you manage to fish it out the rice trick doesn't work and its dead.

I wish I could think of a wish.

You think of one, but then this thread ruins it for you ;D

I wish I was a morning person.

granted, but you remain a night owl and so never get any sleep at all, always tired!

I wish I had more time to play Subeta today.

Granted, but then you forget other important errands you had to do.

I wish there was more time in the day.

Granted - but all of it is taken up with tasks you don't enjoy.

I wish I had lots of new, stylish clothes.

Granted, but you don't have any money left.

I wish I didn't have to get up

Granted, but then you can't get up for the next 3 days.

I wish it was the end of the day already.