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Hello! I'd love to buy some writing from you but I'm wondering if you have a problem with writing something that's not strictly a pet story. I do have pets of my characters but I don't know if I'll ever get around to making them profiles, though I might use a story there. Mostly I just like the read and enjoy the story myself, or maybe show it to roleplay buddies, etc. But not to use or post it for any non-personal use and absolutely never without credit.
No wait time is an issue (and congrats on the job!), I don't have any length in mind, and I'd definitely want to pay you more than you're asking.
I have a request thread explaining the kind of thing I want: http://subeta.net/forums.php/gotopost/57288324
If you're up to it let me know and I'll fill out a form! If not, thank you for your time.
Thank you! I am very excited to start working in my field. :D
It wouldn't be the first time I've taken requests for off-site characters. For the credit if you do post off-site, something like "Story by Pureflower on Subeta" is what I usually ask people to use.
I can do multiple sketches which are more short pieces that place the characters in different situations or I can do actual story lines, based on what interests you the most. If you want to provide a link to your board, it looks like the reference pages you have list physical traits and a few personality points. (I also want to say that I find the idea of character stealing repulsive and I would never use another person's characters in a piece outside of a request from that person.)
I will put you on my wait list and slot you as soon as I get the form.
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[egg=Pureflower] [tp=Pureflower]
(I had this mostly written then my computer reset itself, argh! Trying this again... )
Oh, that's awesome! =D
And great, thank you! That's how I would have credited you if you hadn't said anything anyway.
Either of those sounds great to me! I really like any kind of writing with them, the main problem is just my lack of ideas. I guess it just depends on what you find easier/prefer to come up with.
I'm not sure what you mean by providing a link to my board, since from the rest of your paragraph it looks like you read it? Yes, the one-page reference sheets were made for people drawing them. The images are thumbnails leading to more detailed pages, though! (I should make that clearer. ) Here are those links anyway: JillesWesleyDanielTennant
I also have WIP pages right here and here for Daniel and Tennant, but they have mostly the same information and are very much works in progress. (Jilles and Wes don't even have them yet, eheh.)
I'll fill out what I can of the form so far: Pet Name: Technically Jilles, Wes Uccello, Daniel Sunderland and/or Alex Tennant
Setting: The general setting for my characters is modern-day, probably America, with some comic-book/exaggerated sensibilities. The world is not quite natural, but not outright magical. My characters live in a city they've all lived in for a long time. They're all involved with a crime family that's well-established and relatively unchallenged but not the only one in town. Everything else is pretty free to play with! I'm not super picky about it. If you end up needing more information about the crime families, let me know.
Personality: (I've already given personality info, but I can be more specific if I know approximately who/what you're going to write?)
PoV: Third-person omnipotent is fine!
Physical traits: I think this is covered too.
Other characters to include: I don't have a preference for characters being included together, other than that Daniel and Tennant should probably be together, but I have a page of character relationships here.
Preferred Length: However much you want to do is great! No price constraints at all.
Anything else?: In addition to my other bla bla bla, here's a post I wrote looking for RP partners that might be of some help to you:
SPOILER (click to toggle)
Jilles is a 27-year-old mob bodyguard/lackey with a genetic condition that gives him metal-controlling powers that are sometimes cool but mostly come with a lot of migraines, nausea and a bad prognosis. He's kind of scary but the world's biggest pushover (unless he's been given orders) and extremely nice (unless he's been given orders). Despite his niceness, he can be overly serious and dour, which combined with his scariness keeps him from making a lot of close friends. He keeps trying though. He's quite submissive and gets on best with people who are more spirited than him and push him along. He's easy to fluster but hard to scare, and extremely easy to manipulate.
He might meet people in normal social situations (getting coffee, etc.), at a hospital, or on the job. He's often assigned to guard people of a courtesy because his bosses consider him very trustworthy. He's also often sent to rattle people because he can be very intimidating. He's the only one of my characters actively seeking a relationship and is pretty straight. Some of the kinds of roles I'd like to see with him would be a romantic partner, a caretaker type, surrogate family/a kid he grows protective of, or (especially) someone who'll manipulate and use the hell out of him.
Wes is the 24-year-old son of a mob boss who is not at all cut out to be that. He's kind of bratty, antisocial and constantly afraid. He avoids association with his father as much as possible, living about 30 minutes out of town in a very private property. He's quite lonely and has terrible self-esteem, but hasn't figured out how to deal with that. He's a falconer and spends about all of his time either held up in his house or out hunting with his birds. He gets on best with people who are gentle with him.
He's harder to start a thread with than the others because he's so private. He might meet someone hunting out in the woods, or doing errands in town. They might recognize him either through association with his father or because he was involved in a high-profile kidnapping a few years ago. He's not actively looking for friends but he needs them, and looking for a romantic relationship even less. I like antagonizing him (and all of my characters) but honestly he's in such a bad place to begin with I'd really like him to have someone who'll help and support him rather than just a bad abusive relationship. He's the most genuinely good out of any of my these guys.
Daniel is Tennant's 43-year-old personal bodyguard. He's hardworking, reserved and generally very detached, but genuinely well-intentioned. He doesn't tend to speak unless spoken to, but can be surprisingly sarcastic if he is. He's fiercely loyal and protective, but needs pushing to get close to anything, and doesn't do much to take care of himself. He likes to help and most of the time he gets along with people easily, but it you do something he doesn't agree with you can be sure he'll let you know. He gets on best with people who are either very outgoing or very thoughtful.
Tennant is the 39-year-old head of a prostitution ring and second-in-command of the Uccello crime family. He's a huge slimeball but outwardly generally pretty sweet and charming. He has a reputation for being kind and generous to the employees who behave correctly and has a way of making people feel comfortable. His exaggerated flambouyant and Southern persona isn't as fake as his sweetness. though; he's naturally tough, cruel and distrustful, and he isn't afraid to prove that he can be that way. If you get to know him, he's rambunctious and argumentative but also fairly cheerful and loyal. He gets on best with people who can ground him and stand up for themselves.
Daniel and Tennant are a long-time couple and, because of their jobs, are around each other at least 75% of the time. If you start roleplaying with one of them you will definitely meet the other soon. They're also not about to break up. They can be found in all kinds of fun, sleazy locations, but particularly a high-end strip club that Tennant runs. Tennant is well-known locally, but Daniel isn't, and the fact that they're romantically involved isn't common knowledge either. It's very hard to tell how these guys are going to take to anyone until it happens but they're out for a good time and I like playing them with pretty much anyone.
Plus you can ask me absolutely any questions you might have! I'm not good at knowing what to give people unless they specifically ask for it unfortunately.
That sounds absolutely perfect! I am just dying from the cuteness /dies
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I'm so glad you like it. :) I have Lot set up for you. Since this is technically a long complex but not near 4k words, I would be good with 6 mil or 125 csc for this one.
I think I will start with a story involving Daniel/Tennant because I already have an idea of where to take the setting and how their relationship is established. This also gives me the chance to find out your style preferences for possible future drafts.
One question I have for clarity is whether Daniel and Tennant are at all obvious about their relationship (public displays of affection) or whether they are more private (enjoy the company of one another away from people). I'm wondering if their relationship isn't common knowledge because they want it that way or because people make wrong assumptions.
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[egg=Pureflower] [tp=Pureflower]
That sounds great, thank you! I can't quite tell from what you wrote, but let me know if you needed more info about how they met, how their relationship started, etc.
And they are definitely private. They don't go to huge lengths to keep it a secret, but Daniel particularly is a very private person who doesn't care for public display of affection and doesn't want to draw attention to himself. So on the last question, it's mostly the former but some of the latter.
I'm editing this after reading further notes. Hopefully you will only get one ping.
I was actually reading more of the back-story on your Toy Box pages so I have a better idea now of how they met/fell in together. So far my idea is to focus in the club. I'll have the story move from this more public setting to somewhere more private (one of the apartments, probably Daniel's since I'm thinking Tennant notices he is struggling with his depression and doesn't want to leave him alone at the moment) where they will be able to interact more as a couple (not in a gooey kind of way, but they would be more affectionate.)
One more question that came to me is with the setting, I know you're looking for a large, modern city. Are there forms of technology that should be included? (I'm assuming cars would be in use but I wasn't sure about other items like phones, TVs, etc.) I gather that you're not looking for futuristic, but knowing whether they would be getting their news from an old-fashioned radio vs. a TV set is the sort of fine detail that really sets the scene.
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[egg=Pureflower] [tp=Pureflower]
Alright, that sounds good to me! c= Small note, they each own their own apartments across the hall from each other, at the end of the day they generally pick one of them to go to at the end of the day. Tennant has the big "suite" apartment on the floor, big and bright and professionally designed, while Daniel has a smaller one that's still nice but modest and plain. I have a picture from making them in the Sims, it's not perfect but gets the idea across. Tennant's is the top, Daniel's is bottom right. https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/56198385/danieltennantapartments2.png
And any regular modern-day technology would be fine. c=
Edit: I just now saw your edit but I don't think it changes the content of my post much, eheh! Still sounds good. c=
Hi there! I was wondering if you have a free slot and/or time for a quick review of my story I wrote. English is not my mother tongue and I rather have it checked by someone than just getting refused for the spotlight because of stupid mistakes! ^_^
I'll have the form filled out just to be sure you know a little more about the character, in case you would like to spice it up a little more!
Pet Name:Suburbia
Setting: Character's apartment in Berlin
Personality: My character doesn't have a name or specific gender, but in my head he's a young guy about 25yrs old. (It's written in first person so maybe readers could recognize themselfs or friends or understand a little more.) Let's call the guy "Bill". Bill is a guy who has a severe depression, not knowing how to cope his mood swings and emotions, he seeks for the wrong kind of help. For example selfharm, drug use,... He has no money for therapy and earns money with random acts of sharing the bed with (mostly) other guys. When he tries to quit drugs there's this emptiness inside him that can not be filled. He hopes to find help soon, otherwise he doesn't see a bright future ahead of him, or any future at all...
I tried to keep it as censored as possible. I don't know how far you can go with these kind of themes for pet profiles. My winners are all innocent creatures up until now :3 I might have told you a little more details than that are details in the story, but when I do I feel like i would bore people or that my paragraphs don't belong to each other. So please, if you feel like that about my story feel free to add or delete some stuff but try to keep it "me" :3 I also have two links on the profile that leads you to a video clip and a movie that my story is based on, so if you would like to have a visual image of what I want, I recommend the clip!
Thanks a lot in advance!
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I will get you slotted and I should be able to work on your request this weekend. :)
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[egg=Pureflower] [tp=Pureflower]
Alright! Thanks a lot!
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Here is the first draft for Daniel/Tennant. I did my best to capture a wide range of the details provided for both characters. I will be happy to make any changes you would like.
Here are my edits and suggestions for Suburbia. I think it is a great concept for a story and there were just a few grammar points that I fixed. I also had one question that I put in italics.
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Hi! Thank you for correctiong the story! To answer your question: I don't know if I can say it out loud but yeah, he bought heroin, and he uses it in the next paragraph :)
DeviantArt • Instagram • Tumblr • Toyhouse
Ah okay, that makes sense. I would say file a ticket and see if the direct reference would cause issues. I know the rule onsite is PG13 but I'm pretty sure I've seen drug refs in other stories that have won Spotlight.
I set up Lot . Usually for edits I charge the same as for my lowest story level which would be 600k. If that sounds good, I will send over the edited and coded story as soon as I receive payment.
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[egg=Pureflower] [tp=Pureflower]
Alright! Thank you for the idea! Gonna pay you immediately!
DeviantArt • Instagram • Tumblr • Toyhouse
Hey there, thank you! I gave it a read and really enjoyed it. c= Since it's a first draft, though, I do have comments! I'm kind of... really nitpicky, ahah, so I'm gonna go through and toss all my comments under a cut if that's okay. Sorry if it's a bit scary, me having a lot to say means that I liked it enough to note the little things though!
SPOILER (click to toggle)
-The line about Tennant's pants accentuating his muscular legs stands out as a bit weird to me - his legs aren't /particularly/ muscular, and he's generally aiming to look put-together and immaculate rather than accentuate his body in any way.
-The following read on his personality is very good, but the tense change is a little distracting to me personally. (this goes for the other descriptive parts that change tense as well - I think I'd prefer them to all be in past tense)
-I got stuck on the lighten/dress color detail, I think it's a bit confusing and unnecessary. That goes a few times throughout the story - I don't know why, but mentioning colors specifically when it's not something that's making a particular point (like Tennant's jacket color establishing that he's a flashy dresser) takes me out of the story quite a bit.
-In the part describing Daniel, mentioning him being dressed in white is making me imagine him in a white suit or something more flashy than how he actually dresses. Maybe say something like "drab neutrals" instead. The potato man bit made me smile though.
-Tennant wouldn't be drinking at work - his parents were both alcoholics and that lingers in his mind, so he drinks pretty rarely. If he does, it's usually wine - Daniel the one more likely to go for exotic flavors, although he prefers hard liqour.
-The bit with Daniel in the hall is perfect!
-I totally get and appreciate the thing of using stereotypes for easily-read minor characters, but Vinny the gangster with too much hair product might actually be so on the nose that it's funny, heh. Change the name at least maybe?
-Tennant isn't from the area, so there's no way that he would've grown up with any rival gang members. Even if he had, I don't think a nickname that was a generalized jab at his looks would bother him at all. When he was younger, something about his background/class would apply (trailer trash, etc.), but since not everyone in his current area knows about his background, a biting nickname would probably be a homophobic slur or something about his arm. (On that note, he only has one fist to clench!)
-He'd also be inclined to be a lot more condescending in an exchange like this, I think. Less "You got a death wish, punk?" and more "Well, it sounds like somebody has a death wish~" with a tight smile. Maybe slip some insulting pet names in there - doll, honey, etc. I quite like the end of the exchange though.
-Tennant doesn't own a car and is, in fact, not allowed to drive! (He wouldn't if he was allowed to anyway.) Daniel drives him, and it'd be in a black Mercedes that most people just assume is Tennant's.
-Very picky here, but as for the bridge incident, Daniel was sitting on the edge contemplating when Tennant found him. Tennant sat and talked him down.
-I like the end, although it seems to go quite a bit faster than the rest of the story? The last line I think would actually work better if you changed the name from Daniel to Tennant.
An updated draft for D/T. Nitpicky is good. I like to get the details right. :D
I don't even know how those verb tense changes got in there but I certainly did not intend to change tense. I think I got them all but let me know if I missed any.
I always do what I call a name placeholder in my first draft to get the requester's opinion on names they did not provide. I don't even like the name Vinny but it made an easy placeholder. I decided to go with something much less stereotypical (Wilson) but I can still change if you like.
I was rather blunt with the ending on purpose because I didn't want the story to feel it was dragging. It definitely made more sense to have Tennant being the protective one though.
I have Lot set up for you though you don't have to pay until all details are to your satisfaction. This draft is a long story (my standard price is 3 mil). Whatever seems like a fair price to you will work for me.
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(Oh my godddddddd my cat stepped on my keyboard and refreshed this after I had written almost everything ARGH, so I'm sorry if this seems a bit impatient)
Ah, good, thank you! C= I appreciate it. I do still have some notes, so here's round two (sorry!):
SPOILER (click to toggle)
-The second paragraph still has some present tense, and I think I confused my point on my third comment there - I meant that I didn't mind describing the colors of Tennant's outfit, that made the point that Tennant was a flashy, loud dresser, it was the bit about the lighter (and to a lesser extent the purple booth) that bothered me.
-I'm still just not feeling the bit about the drinks. Maybe just leave it with something like "Daniel's preference for hard drinks was well known to all the serving staff, and Tennant took his club soda quietly." (Tennant is more concerned about it becoming a habit and taking over his life than losing control.)
-There's more present tense in the next two paragraphs. (I hope you don't mind me pointing these out - it's not a jab at you or anything, I do the same thing all the time and I would never catch them all on my own)
-Could you either change one the the "distinguished"s to another word or just take out the second one?
-There's more present tense in the description of the girl in the hall.
-I do like Wilson better, but there's still a "Vinny" under the line.
-So sorry to nitpick this again, but the bit about the bridge incident is still a bit off. They weren't dating or even close yet at that time, so Tennant really just sat and talked to him. He didn't drag him to the car or hold him through the shudders, as much as I like that bit of writing. (There were two times that Tennant found him contemplating/on the brink in the 16 years after that, once with a gun and once on the roof.)
-I think the reason the blunt/quick ending bothers me is that it feels like it's introducing a new plot point right before it concludes. I think it'd help if there were more hints peppered throughout about Daniel having a particularly bad day - his face looking dark, him dragging himself along, etc. There were only a couple of lines I could find that could be read like that were the one about his life seeming like a waste even on his best days, which that can also be read as him having a pretty good day, and the last one before the break, although that also kind of sounds like it's just business as usual. If it was more obvious that Daniel was struggling more than usual throughout, the ending wouldn't feel so rushed.
An updated draft for D/T. I'm not usually that clumsy with tenses. I think what happened was I started writing in present, realized the story would sound much better in past, then forgot to go back and make my changes. (I've been sick recently which quite likely affected my writing, but I'm getting over it now, thank goodness.) I really do think I caught them all this time. xD
I also tried to add a few additional details to show Daniel having a worse-than-average day.
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[egg=Pureflower] [tp=Pureflower]
That fixed all my issues, thank you! c= And I can be pretty clumsy with tenses, mostly because I have one ongoing RP in present tense and most everything else in past, ahah. That's totally understandable too though.
Thank you so much! I did go ahead and offer on the lot.