Granted, but you're deaf mute.

I wish I had x-ray vision.

granted, but you get locked up because everyone suspected you of being a pervert in a room that xray vision did not work

I wish it was nice and warm outside... and not humid

Granted, but you go blind after seeing some things you wish you hadn't.

I wish I had a parakeet.

Granted, but it bites your finger!

i wish i could turn into an animal (wease maybe!). <(^w^)>

Granted, but an animal higher up on the food chain comes along and decides you'd be nice for lunch.

I wish I didn't have to write this English essay.

Granted, but you have to wright a history essay!

i wish my pet hermit crabs would stop dieing!

Granted, but scientists found out about your immortal crabs and took them away for genetic testing.

I wish for sunny weather tomorrow.

granted, but it blizzards the next day

i wish for an extended weekend

Granted, but then you have to work / go to school for the entire next weekend.

I wish I had warm hands.

Granted, but now your hands are on fire.

I wish I had more time

granted... but now the rest of your body is cold.

I wish that I could learn french and german

rtgjvchrtgk hkj... LATE now clocks are glued to your hands

I wish I had a pony

granted, but it eats your house

i wish i had a new eraser

Granted, but it doesent erase well.

I wish i had red hair.

Granted, but a goat mistakes them for food and make her dinner out of it.

I wish I was rich!

granted, but it comes with the stipulation that you can't spend it on yourself

i wish i was a better salesperson

Granted, but too many people are buying your products and you're always outta stock.

I wish I lived in a castle.

granted, but one night it collapses around you

i wish i had a new backpack

Granted, but it's Dora's backpack and it annoys you to death.

I wish I had a better job.

granted, but you get paid worse than your current one

i wish i had a job

Granted, but then you'd have to do actual work :p

I wish I didn't have to go to school