Yeah, this thread is just going in circles at this point. Staff have already said their piece both in the news comments and in this thread, so any more debate probably isn't going to change anything.

Thread's fine, guys. Though OP, as sex-repulsed (aka someone affected) I don't think this would necessarily warrant legal action. This site's demographic isn't necessarily targeted towards children, and if push came to shove they'd just remove the items. We're mostly young adults that grew up playing Neopets, haha. Next time, a simple heads-up might suffice or perhaps a filter, though I wouldn't want to put even more pressure on the dev team considering the server lately.

The REAL nasties are the aphobes in the comments. That was actually gross, lmao. I'm glad they're a minority, but imagine being so worked up over people not appreciating kink. It's okay if you like something, but it should also be okay to not like something. This is how mature people operate.

This place suffers from the drama that similar art-centric sites like Tumblr has, and it's unfortunate. Too many rules, not enough people debating civilly so we all get into a fuss when something actually breaks out. (heh unintentional survival pun)

So... eh-hem. I almost NEVER post because I am anti-social beyond belief. But I cannot just sit here and watch be attacked over and over due to my admitted... affliction.

I was so deeply "triggered" that I became physically ill. I cancelled my Gold Subscription, closed the browser and dwelled on it well into the night. THAT is really difficult to share (because no doubt I am soon to be mocked and destroyed by the masses here), and I do so on behalf of myself and perhaps others who might not want to talk about it. But I digress.

Look, I've been a generous-paying customer for over a decade. I've been profoundly loyal, in fact, as Subeta has always been all-inclusive to the uniqueness of its users while the rest of the world told us we were just "making shit up". And I truly appreciated that.

However, if that no longer matters, we are STILL paying customers and should be treated with some sort of courtesy, yes? I did not know there was a discussion somewhere that people were suggesting fetish items to be added to the site. I would have loved to have added my two cents. The point is, not everyone knows everything that occurs on site. Even people who have hung out here for years. And Subeta should care.

Personally, I would have appreciated an apology, or at the very least, a warning. CSC is unnecessary. But you all need to realize that you TOO are paying customers. No matter how amazing Bug is, you should get frustrated when the product you pay for is broken. Or in my case... horrifically paralyzing.

I'm sure it was no one's intention to offend anyone, just like it was not my intention to overreact. But it happened. Either we deal with it, or it goes unresolved, and everyone stays bitter. Can we at least agree on that?

I don't know how to block or blur items on here. I'm not even sure I want to. But I know I do want to get the other items from the Parlor, and I do want to participate in this event. It's always be been one of my favorite events, dating back even before the zombies appeared (which I know was a brilliant idea probably hatched for folks who hated Valentine's Day). If nothing can be done about this year's items, can I at least request that next year's items be a bit more tame?

Regarding the lag and crashes... Is Bug getting any help? I know I've been asking about accessing my galleries for month's now with no avail. Tell me this person isn't working on everything by himself/herself/theirselves? Does Keith even bother anymore? Amber, I've seen you doing a lot of shit for a while. I noticed a lot of people brighten up when you appear. Is there anything Subeta users can do to make things run more smoothly?

P.S. ... Thank you for going to bat for those of us who couldn't properly find our voices. I am still processing, but it's much better today than it was when those things were first released. It was selfless of you to take a stand when people were bombarding you with accusations you didn't deserve. I can't believe our once tight-knit community here on Subeta has become so apathetic. I do hope we recover from it.

the code for hiding or blurring is on page 2 of this topic. https://subeta.net/forums.php/gotopost/64294141 https://subeta.net/forums.php/gotopost/64294289

Because there wasn't much awareness for the holiday item suggestion threads can I propose that maybe staff make a news post about those threads?

For example: Survival is around the corner! What kind of items would you want to see during the holiday? Post here on this thread!

As LadyTamara mentioned: not everyone knows everything that's happening on the site. The staff ARE aware of these threads, and I think making an official news post about them can help bring more awareness to them to get more input regarding new items. : )

Before I say anything else I want you to know that I sympathize with your reaction because I have PTSD and panic attacks. It's a terrible feeling that should not be minimized or dismissed.

That being said, I find responses like yours frustrating. wanted compensation that was not warranted. Survival was extended so no time was actually lost so there is no need for any compensation. As well, people should not be compensated because of reactions like yours. I know you feel differently but I do believe that identifying triggering content and avoiding or blocking it is the responsibility of the individual.

That being said, I do agree that staff should have had a quick note in the news post about the items being kink-related. I do not like the items and have blocked them myself. I do think that, since they bother you, you should block them as well. You can get an adblocker (I recommend uBlock) and you just have to right-click on the image and click to block it. You should get a second prompt giving more info on what specific image you are blocking and another button to finalize it.

I find it frustrating that you are treating like a martyr. No one has been cruel in this thread. They have expressed their feelings appropriately. You just don't agree with them. There may be a couple of people who are dismissively saying how they like kink items and implying they don't care how others feel but the majority are appropriately expressing their (valid!) distaste for asking for compensation which is unwarranted.

I have had some serious issues with images on here in the past because they're gory or triggering in another way. I block those images. I do not expect Subeta to remove those items or apologize for having them. I do not feel that people are owed anything because they have had a bad reaction to certain images. I will not criticize people for having a bad reaction of course, because that's shitty, but I do not feel that they are owed anything because of that reaction.

I would appreciate a heads up about certain things like gore (the Meatslab the Resting challenger is one example of an image I have blocked), overtly sexual content (like kink related stuff), etc. but the staff can't know about everyone's triggers. That's a completely unrealistic expectation. For certain things like this it would be nice if they made some mention about it being kink-related. It doesn't even have to be a content warning, it could just be a playful line in the news post about the items being kinky or sexy. Just something that would make people think, "Oh maybe I should be prepared for that type of content." However, this would just be a nice thing they could do. I don't expect it nor do I demand it. That's going overboard.

Anyway, I dislike you treating OP like a martyr because they were unreasonable. You not agreeing with others does not mean they are being unfair or cruel.

The disbelief and skeptical comments came from "put yourself more in the red by giving us all the currency that's bought with IRL money.", not necessarily for disliking the items, which people are free to do.

"The site could be in serious trouble by a mysterious new entity" is trying to put a panicked spin on things to eke out money that sat wrong with most people.

Dude, you should 100% learn to do it.

You can be exposed to reference to triggering material everywhere on the internet, so learning to curate your Intrernet experience, such as blacklisting words and adblocking images should be a priority.

You cannot police a whole website. You can, however, curate your own experience. Now, every time you're going to go to the Parlor, you're going to see items that trigger you, not improving your mental state.

Self-care. Self care, my dudes.

Yeah this. OP literally tried to blackmail the site, how the hell is anyone defending this?

Police the site? I just said I've been loyal for over a decade, and I've only mentioned my inaccessible gallery twice and my disdain for the effing sex store HERE, where I was directed BY the damn site when I tried to contact some sort of customer service. But instead of acknowledgement and courtesy from the Subeta Team, which is what I expected after the redirect, I've stumbled into this circus where everyone likes the sound of their own indignant thoughts.

THAT is why I never post. People are obnoxious, and I'd rather cut of my left foot than socialize with a bunch of know-it-all, insensitive jackholes. And I'm guessing at this point, Subeta doesn't give a damn either.

I've had no problem with the world wide web, and you want me to practically recode Subeta for "Self-care". The site is supposed to be fun... you know, entertaining. I've come to the conclusion it's now more trouble than it's worth.

Best wishes to you all. I'm out.

If you are easily triggered, you should block things that trigger you; however, you are literally refusing to learn how to do it. Quote.

Had you been willing to learn how to block them, Subeta would have been a safe space for you.

You would have seen the items once, and then never again. But instead, by not blocking the items, you subject yourself to more pain.

- I think the main reason people responded to your post less than appreciatively is that it looked to many of us like Piplup Magby was trying to turn a profit off your distress, and that of others. As you yourself said, CSC isn't necessary.

I don't think you need to worry too much about seeing the items as most people will use them as part of another outfit rather than wearing the whole thing at once. There are many strappy, harnessy CWs and there have been various iterations of whips and restraints on the site before, plus the Giselle set; if you haven't noticed till now that these items exist, probably you are not hanging out in places where people would wear the whole set just to be "edgy".

It was the presentation of the items that caused people to get triggered--the overwhelming amount of sex stuff in one place with very little else. Chances are you have already seen avatars incorporating one or two of these items without realising it, as the harnesses were worn with other clothing or the whips were being carried by avatars wearing something other than bondage gear/lingerie.

"Just block them!" doesn't change the fact that these items were created in the first place, and that people may have been triggered by viewing the items the first time around. I'm glad that the block feature was created, but it is only accessible to those who look around on the forums for it. Subeta could have been an even safer place for some had the items never been released in the first place.

And correct me if I am wrong, but doesn't blocking the items only block the item box, not if it is used on an HA? Say, if a user decides to use all pieces together?

Really disappointed at some of the responses in this thread, and by the overall debate on this topic in general. As has said, it reminds me of the worst Subeta has. Reflecting on my own site usage, it is moments like these that make me not want to engage as much with the community.

For all those who say that people who find the kink items uncomfortable can go off to Neopets, be careful what you wish for. I think about the other thread that asks about how to invite new players. Certainly the discussion of more adult themes on Subeta can be appealing to many folks, but others don't want a completely adult experience/frankly should not be exposed to that (if they are underage). Tell people that they might have fun on another site, and they just might go and take their money with them.

Certainly, everyone should have the fun and play experience that they wish, and if spending less time on Subeta is the remedy to that, kudos to you! But on the level of player retention/attraction, I wonder if this event has caused a demonstrable decrease in activity for some users/feelings of disconnect from Subeta, even though it's only one event - for me, catalysts for disconnect could be seen more so with the debate on the News Post/this thread and some of the comments that have been made here.

I get what you're saying. People have been turned off from Subeta for less. I remember reading a thread where a user and his friends didn't want to join due to the fact that a specific name that they wanted wasn't available.....it sounds petty to some, but it is what it is.

And last semester I had to do an assignment on how to deal with someone who wants literature with controversial topics taken off the shelves of a school library, so I'm VERY aware of the fact of the possibility of a concerned parent making clapback against a site geared towards teenagers for having overly risque items.

I don't have the same trauma as some on here but the new Louis items definitely make me very uncomfortable. I went into his shop, grabbed the stuff I wanted and got out asap but I can see some people who aren't even able to do that because they don't want to have to see those items. Using a blocker is all well and good but by then the person in question already knows the items are there and know what they look like so the damage has been done. And the blockers don't hide people wearing the items unless you want to get rid of that person's entire HA.

What if the more "questionable" items are put in their own tab or in a spoiler-like space? And a trigger warning would be helpful.

EXAMPLE:

Trigger warnings are only possible if staff are able to predict a trigger. Realistically, while anything can be a trigger to someone somewhere, this is mild fetish gear that's less revealing than half the lingerie we already have on site. Even if we had a trigger warning system I highly doubt it would have occurred to anyone that these items needed it.

Support this idea. Subeta technically did something similar when the "Drowning Betrayal" item was released (for those who don't know, that's when we first heard about Bubbles' murder).

you mean to tell me years ago i couldve asked for compensation when i was like 14 when the giselle kinkylove line came out?

jokes aside

hello friends

I was under the impression that this site was more strictly PG-13 (I'm still sorta new?? I only joined 2 years ago and was on on-off hiatus for like a year combined)--I was slightly surprised by the sex toy items! not necessarily in a bad way, but more like they felt out of place? I know subeta has canon weed paraphernalia, sibling murder, blood and guts and other dark/adult themes but I think what really did it for me was like, it's most of the items this year, like it's the entire theme. if it were just one or two sex items mixed into a lot of more family-friendly type stuff it wouldn't be quite as jarring? especially for people who are uncomfortable with it. but there's a whole line of like 8 different flavored lubes or something, like, whoa haha

my take tho is people who aren't bothered by the new items shouldn't brush off the people who are bothered by them. as someone with a lot of sexual trauma who's still working on it nearly into their 30s (I'm 27 today wow!!), I think it's very unfortunate that this current climate of the "All these SJWs make a big deal out of everything now and want to censor the internet" Us Versus Them Mentality makes it hard to discuss this kind of thing now without a lot of backlash and hurt feelings. But please keep in mind the sexual trauma survivors, asexual people, and minors all around us and in your personal lives.

I, too, have been through the whole feeling like I have to walk on eggshells now all the time, but it doesn't have to be like that. when I was 14 and repressing a lot of feelings about what happened (and what was still happening) to me, I made a lot of insensitive jokes and remarks and when people called me out for them yeah I lashed out, for a number of different reasons--I felt like I wasn't allowed to be myself anymore, along with a whole bunch of personal hangups that are related to my trauma that I won't get into here. yes it can feel embarrassing & humiliating when you feel like no one's allowed to do anything anymore without there something being wrong with it in some way. but, again, it doesn't HAVE to be like that. we can find alternatives and compromises that everyone's satisfied with, and that help people feel safer in the long run.

if you are a survivor/minor/etc. who isn't uncomfortable with the sex stuff, that's great! just remember to be mindful of those who are. I myself wouldn't say I was triggered by it (I have niche triggers nowadays, they kind of morph and manifest, but some years ago I might have been a bit more bothered), but not all people experience their trauma the same or process it in the same way! I've never really been a fan of the "I went through it and I'm fine so you can get over it too" way of thinking.

while it is very true that the nature of this website and of TWs means that not everything will be warned for (I remember one story that was posted on the news that had a TW but it was not the TW I wish I was warned for LOL), that doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about what kinds of things should be more consistently warned for to help minors/trauma survivors/etc. feel safer or at least more listened to on the site.

I hope this makes sense! I uh, don't post here often and I think there was more I was thinking about that I lost along the way

EDIT: I wanted to add I'm not going to expect the staff to always know when something needs a TW, but that's where the community comes in, to discuss these things for the future! people were still hurt, and it needs to be talked about.

I'll say regarding pet names, many of us are dead serious. Expect the sea of blank profiles and common kumos if 2021 hits and unique pet names are still a thing. Judging from the sea of pets I've seen in the pound recently, doubt we're alone.

If warnings or separate tabs are a deal breaker and something anyone thinks would help grow the site don't sit on it.... post on that board. Bring it up.

Staff don't appear to be taking it seriously, but much like pet names... when you leave, at least they'll know why.