Doing good my pet. Just got back from a company picnic. We all went bowling. It was a lot of fun! April came to work with me as did some of the other children of fellow employees. It made for a fun atmosphere today. How was your day?

Dang that sounds beautiful! Where did you get the idea?

I feel you, Wesk with some obvious exceptions people have very different concepts of friendship on the West Coast than back east, I'm pretty sure the term Fair Weather Friend was coined here. As an example a few years ago our company was going to bring in an outside company to replace caregivers, my boss told me so I started sending out my resume. When they got a bunch of referrals calls they figured someone had leaked the 'rumor' I got called into the co-administrator's office they wanted to know if i had heard the rumor and from whom. I dummied up "I heard several rumors, but I can't say for certain who the original leak was." The next person they talked to was falling all over herself to implicate whoever they mentioned

Oh that sounds like a lot of fun, Jessica Our company just does a Christmas party since technically we're not supposed to socialize outside of work

Must be truthful there will be no mentally prepping for when the time comes for my baby to pass. It will devastate me. I am simply trying to prepare for a mental shut down for when it happens. I am already about half shut down as it is. Basically go thru the motions of day to day. I really have no connection to much going on in the world around me. BUT below talking to Habeebi is what my brain has allowed me to think about...which may be unrealistic but it is more then just the endless feeling of hopeless and depressed I have been feeling.

I had thought about putting down some cheap tile/laminate wood like floor. But landlord apparently stained the floor in his house and it came out nice. My issue is HE wants to be involved and "help" and I don't want him hanging in here and being a pest (also dont want to have to explain the animals. He has already messed with my plans with how I wanted to do the flooring. I wanted to go one room at a time and get it COMPLETELY done and the move on. (Tear up rug in the room I use the least. Paint the walls. Do the floor. Then onto the next room...etc) BUT he refused to let me start to paint the walls and stain the floor UNTIL every room had the carpet out. Im highly annoyed and became less motivated. My plan was to get it all done by end of August MAYBE September that way my life wasn't to thrown off by it by doing room by room myself. BUT now I have all the rooms except my room...which has the most stuff in it to tear up the carpet. His last statement was "once the carpets are up we can take as long as needed...NO DICK! I want to go as I needed without upheaval of my life. So I became less motivated to do it :(

I have also started considering the idea of roommate. I use to be at like a 0-5% chance of that EVER happening. But now I am more at a 75% chance of it happening. Why you ask? Well I started thinking things over money wise and it would start saving me money AND get me towards my end goal of buying my own land/home much sooner. My main bills would be cut in half. Instead of shelling out about $900 a month (rent, electric, internet, tv stuff) it would be come $450. THAT IS HUGE! Esp since in 6 months my car is paid off...and no more $240 out a month on that. I would be able to put aside $600+ a ,month. I am honestly thinking this is a good thing right now. I have a friend who could potentially move in with me (they want to move from where they are at). Only issue I have is that I fear that they possibly think that it could develop into a relationship. :( That is where my hold up is. I am happy being single (95% of the time) and honestly I don't think I could have romantic feelings towards this friend. AND I fear that if we ended up living together it would be hard for me to ever meet someone if I wanted to cus of the fear of hurting them. PLUS side they are aware of my end goal of saving to buy a place (which I know I won't be able to buy straight up without a mortgage, but I figure if I am paying $540 in rent now and I have lived here 5 years that has been just over 32,000 paid in rent. THAT around here is a piece of land and home...so could EASILY get a mortgage and pay it off earlier then the 15 year or whatever they give...or even take the 15 year and still have land...You know?). We even discussed my ULTIMATE goal in the land/space to have a cat sanctuary type thing. And they are on board to help out towards that goal too and if anything continue to live together. OR have a big enough land to have two homes on it and share the sanctuary goal.

yeah exactly! I have never had that, family wise, i always have to be the bigger person in my family and be my own example. Its not easy and i make a lot of mistakes from trying to hard. But i give myself kudos for trying. I have one, church related friend, especially who is like the mother i never had. Her husband too, but he passed from a brain tumor a year ago. :( She has been a HUGE support in all this and, like your grandma, loves me no matter what. I thank a higher power for her. (I would say more but keeping religion light here so as not to be awkward for others) She was one of the few that gave me strength to recognize the huge mistake and poor attitude i was developing from this bad influence. I still feel foolish for believing what i did. awesome goals! I sure hope it works out for you and your pets and that cat sanctuary sounds so cool!
... I almost lost sight of true friends right in front of me because of the negativity i was being fed daily bby a false friend. It would have been a disaster if i had moved to California with her, its scary to even consider. So so glad i got out of that when i did. I was so blind!! (Relieved)
So my mom has a rare form of blood cancer and osteoporosis, shes getting extensive ....er... A lot of shots in her back. And grandma has leukemia as i said before. So... Im thinking its time to get a check up with my regular dr. Get my blood looked at and report these health issues.
The blood cancer is this weird name i forget and is very rare causes blood clots apparently. So, taking grandma to the store tmr. Shes ok family wise. Shes got issues being 90 now and a somewhat difficult personality, but a good heart. The one i was close to was my great grandmother who passed about 8 ears ago. We were basically pen pals since childhood. I would write her letters with doodles all over the borders. I even made her a small garden out of clay years ago. I miss her sometimes. I was close to my mom growing up but she was emotionally draining . She never got counseling and i think it could have helped her. I have, and still do and its my lifeline next to my faith. I think some people dont realize that mental health is just as important as physical health .

Why are you not supposed to socialize out of work? I've never heard of such a thing!

Its ridiculous, you WANT your staff to be on friendly terms Friends are more likely to cooperate/help another friend with a challenging person rather than nuh uh.why should I help you I mean sorry I'm super busy and can't help.. I think the owners take is that if people are to friendly with one another they'll spend more time socializing than watching/helping residents and yes I've definitely seen that but its more the exception than the rule, usually its the ones who are living at home /going to school so they don't take it as seriously as someone who has kids or has to pay rent

Oh man, so you're going to be seeing a LOT of your landlord over the next few months, Mommy! I have to agree that doing it room by room tearing up the carpet/painting and staining the floor is a lot more efficient, its also a lot less upheaval for your furkids and you. No wonder you're less than stoked about doing it. Maybe he's just planning on dropping off stain and paint and let you deal with the work? Probably not, he's using we a lot, Luv, so I'm betting you're going to be shoulder to shoulder with him.

A roommate helps as far as finances go it will save you a crapton of money, just take your time in selecting, from my own experience I've had TERRIBLE roommates in the past, they go to make the rent payment but decide to buy crack instead and come back with a sob story about being mugged so everyone has to shell out rent again. My surrent roommate actually makes up for all the bad ones I've had. The one time Karen had to borrow $ she deducted the loan from my share of the rent

I agree with HABEEBI, in doing the apt, room by room. that way your WHOLE HOUSE IS NOT IN UPHEAVAL

can you tell the landlord "No"? :(

then slowly do it your way?

also...and i only speak from mainly by daughters experience here (i had very few roommates) first...i wouldn't have a male roommate, especially one where you think he might have some "feelings" toward you. it's a great idea to get a roommate, especially if you want to be saving to be able to buy your own place (a condo or something maybe?)

I only say be careful of 'roommate' because when you're used to living on your own, you "get set in your ways" and a room mate changes that BIG time.

you need to make sure RIGHT FROM THE START.... I don't like "this.....ie...hair in the sink......people drinking from the container.....MY FOOD USED....(MY DRINK DRUNK)....mud on the floors....being mean to my animals....etc"

my girl used to complain BIG time, about one of her roommates, eating chips in the middle of the night and the bag rattlings. -another room mate used to leave HUGE Gobs of hair all over the sink. (and believe you me, us redheads LEAVE HAIR LAYING AROUND LIKE A HARLEY LEAVES OIL) BUT we would always make sure that we CLEANED AROUND THE SINK, etc Before we left the room. (especially the shower drains!!)

any way. those are just a few weird "Idiosyncrasies" that might affect you. (heh. had to look up how to spell that)

on the landlord/apt. re-doing part..... :( have NO advice for you there. I COMPLETELY understand wanting to do it yourself, and I would be very upset if my landlord stuck his nose in, when i was trying to do something. but then again. i would be going as far as you seem to be (re-doing carpet, etc) because i wouldn't want to put that much money into a place i was renting. (all my decorating is stuff i can take with me) or a little painting, (cause a can of paint can be pretty cheap)

Maybe tell him , "no never mind, i've changed my mind and am not going to do it" then wait a month or so, and try again? WITH OUT HIM.

I don't know the whole situation, so it's hard for me to think of any thing you could do. (LOL NO Suggestions from the noisy witch)

GOOD LUCK with what ever you decide

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAISLEYANN!!

:d

I think it makes people care more about one another if you get to know them and their families outside of work but what do I know? ;)

hindsight is 20/20 and knowing is half the battle. I don't think most people that go to college really know what it is they want to do after. I still don't know what it is I wanna do.

heh yeah. One of my good friends here actually moved from North Carolina. A lot of my friends though are just really flaky and it bums me out because now I feel like I get really flaky with them because they obviously don't care =/ I'm actually helping my boss again this weekend pour concrete and lay down foundation for the large deck he is building in his backyard. It's more fun doing that than trying to get together with friends that keep changing plans =/

Yikes that's awful that they were throwing people under the bus like that.

I know that feel. I done know how old you are, but I find the older I get(in am now 31), the easier it is to find people who are at least reliable to hang out with, if not available for helping with serious things... But I also have gotten increasingly cynical as I age, haha!

But seriously, I have encountered more random acts of kindness and generosity of spirit here on this site in the last like two months than everyone in real life in the last year. People can just be sucky. I try not to expect much from people anymore :/

This nonexistent "husband" has a name now?!

Honestly...I've never had goat cheese.

: It is very creamy and smooth, easily spread on a toast. My favorite way of eating it is to place a log of goat cheese on an oven proof serving plate, drizzle a little Extra Virgin Olive Oil and fresh chopped garlic over it, and broil it until the top browns slightly. Then sprinkle fresh chopped basil and ground pepper and serve with pita toast points. ( I don't make it, Weldon does, I cannot cook worth beans. ) It is so very nummy warm.

Goat Cheese is a little pricy in the store, but we get it here in the country from a goat farmer friend of ours who has a small organic goat dairy and makes her own cheese.

That sounds interesting. Goat cheese is pricey. But that's awesome you can some organic and direct from the source!

, if you like cream cheese, you'd probably like the goat cheese, very similar texture/taste.

I LOVE IT AND OMG I'VE GOT TO TRY IT LIKE WELDON FIXES IT! you know. i should look around locally, i bet i could find some, locally.

a lot of times, i spread it on rye and put berries and honey on it. yum (even though lately, i've been doing that with yogurt)

I've also been thinking of trying to make a "Beef Wellington" but since the hub/family doesn't like mushrooms, i'm thinking of using goat cheese, baby spinach and walnuts.

, lol i found i didn't even start living, till i hit my 30's. :D and now that i'm in my 60's, that "increasingly cynical" is all i am. lol. (I also say things, that i would NEVER had said to a person, when i was younger....i think it's because, I DON'T CARE ANY MORE) hahhaaaa :D :D :D

, well, i'll tell you, now that i'm old, (and my cousin has said the same thing) NOW we know of things we wish we had studied/learned/gone into. hahahaaaa

, : My human friends have a Trader Joe's store in their town and you can get it there very reasonably. My Author prepares goat cheese log like Welly does but with chopped Calamata or oil-cured olives in addition to garlic and basil. It's also wonderful as a base for bruschetta.

I have never eaten beef Wellington, the recipes look like a lot of work. Weldon makes something similar with fowl; sharp, tangy cheese, walnuts, herbs and spinach stuffed inside a breast, then wrapped in bacon, then wrapped in puff pastry. I don't remember what he calls it. But OMGosh! It's tasty to the max. I had better wake Welly up and get him to make breakfast. It's Pancakes and Ponies day.

MLP FiM Season 7 Episode 14 HERE I know that some of you watch. , .

LOL , OMG THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD! grin. and the only reason i haven't made the beef, it's a LOT of work, and i just haven't had the energy to go through all that cooking. mmm but i may try it with the chicken!! might have to leave the walnuts out. but everything else, i think the man would actually EAT it! lol

:( i want pancakes. hahahaha, to bad i'm to lazy to fix 'em :D

edit: damn it. hate when i spell someones name wrong

I am 27 but I don't think it's the age, I think it's just the attitude where I currently live. Everyone here is really laid back. There have been times where when I really needed help like when I was moving into a new apartment, my friends came to help me. It's more when we make plans to do things to hang out on the weekends or after work that they don't always come through. I understand there are days when you are just tired from work and wanna go home and relax, but there have been times on the weekends when we make plans and then someone cancels at the last minute. Most of the time it's just me and my boyfriend and that gets frustrating sometimes because we want to do group things.

Hah yeah. I remember growing up I wanted to be an astronomer because I love space and my mom talked me out of it because she wanted me to have a successful career so I went into engineering instead. Looking back now I think what I really wanted was to become an astrophysicist.

OH MAN!!! , that would have been SO COOL!! and omg. you're in engineering? ha!! YOU HAVE GOT TO GET TOGETHER WITH MY DAUGHTER!!

hahahaaaa, I keep telling her she has to get with an "mechanical engineer" to make a "TELEPORTER"

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your outfit with the black dress instead of the white.

LOL , you can borrow the dress any time (it's called FART! hahahaaaa) I really bought it, because i thought i was going to gift it to (it was when she was offline)

but to tell you the truth, I feel like my aunt, lol, i like it so much, I'm not sure if i'm going to give it up! HAHAHAAAAA

My aunt does that all the time at Christmas time. :D OR she's buying "SIX" of everything to give to her: my other aunt (her sister), my mom (her OTHER sister/who's passed away now) 2 cousins, herself, and ME hahahhaaaaa

but as long as i have it HOLLIS, you can borrow it :)