there's one thing that has really bothered me for a while and i want to make it clear to a lot of people. people with eating disorders have exactly that: a disorder. (and i'm not speaking for everybody here.) they aren't trying to offend you by thinking that they don't look good, that they look fat, when you may weigh more or be a few sizes higher than them. trust me, we don't care what you look like. we probably think you're beautiful. i think everybody's beautiful no matter how much they weigh. we just think that WE don't look the way we need to. you can call it selfish or not, but it's a twisted train of uncontrollable thought. it's just sucky when people say that people with ED's who are thin (they don't see it that way and if they do it isn't thin enough) are being offensive to people who weigh more by struggling with their own insecurities. it has nothing to do with you. i don't care if it sounds bad, because it's true. it's a way of thinking that you can't understand if you aren't plagued by it. just, please, if you ever get upset by somebody with an ED who thinks they have too much weight for themselves, or a disproportionate body, or a desire to lose even after they've accomplished and continue to, take into account what they're going through. we don't think EVERYBODY needs to be thin and beautiful and no matter how much weight they lose it's never enough. just don't make it harder for anybody. it's a struggle to be overweight as well, for many, so i'm just trying to get across that trust me, we don't think shit about how much you weigh so don't take it personally when somebody you know has an eating disorder. it's just really getting to me. another thing, when people complain about being "fat" when they clearly are not, they aren't always looking for attention: they could have an eating disorder, imagine that. and some people do seek attention sociopatically, which is a whole different story.. anyway, thanks for listening, and again i clearly can't speak for everybody. thoughts?

I agree. I don't have an eating disorder, but I am uncomfortable with the way I look. My mum says I'm too thin. I take a size 10 in jeans and a size 6-8 in tops (I'm actually an 8 but because I don't have much boobage I can get away with a 6 sometimes too) yet all I see in the mirror is a fat person. I'm going by UK sizes. I don't know what these sizes are in the USA. It's weird. When I was a size 16 I was comfortable with my weight. I didn't feel like I was fat all (even though I was). So for me to go so insecure over my body now is just really weird, but it doesn't matter how many times people tell me to stop complaining, I'll never be comfortable with my body and I'll keep wanting to lose more. I can't imagine how hard it would be for someone with an actual disorder. With me it's lack of confidence. Perhaps if I was confident, I'd be more inclined to like the way I look. But I don't...

I feel the same way about depression. If I hear one more person say 'cheer up' I'm going to shove my hand down their throat, pull out their intestines, and strangle them with them. I can't just cheer up. I can't just be fucking happy. Don't you think I would if I could? Trust me, I definitely would be happy if I could simply choose to be. But I can't. Yes, I still need my medication. Yes, I know it's been years. If I want to function as a normal human being I will have to take it for the rest of my life. You wouldn't like me off of it, trust me. Depression is not the same thing as 'being unhappy'...when you're unhappy, things can pull you out of it easily (talking, your favorite music, whatever). But depression, sometimes there's nothing you can do to pull yourself out of it, and someone telling you to cheer up just makes it worse. Also, when someone asks what's wrong, and I say 'I'm depressed.' and they say 'About what?' I want to punch them. It's depression. It's not necessarily about anything in particular. God. I could rant on and on about this, but I don't want to monopolize your thread.

On topic though, I'm not exactly thin...and I admit, I have been hurt by people who say they're fat when they're so not. But I can't help feeling that way either.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you.

People think EDs are like...vain and shallow things that are some kind of personal affront to everyone else or a statement against them, when really they aren't. It goes much deeper than that. And it's such BULLSHIT when someone says 'Why don't you just eat something?' to someone with anorexia or 'Um, just don't throw up' to someone with bulimia. Uh, yeah, sure, why don't you just stop hiccuping or sneezing and we'll see how easy that is for you, moron.

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i completely understand, you don't even need an ED to feel like this. i wish people could see that it stems from an inner struggle and not some strange vain superiority complex.

that's a great comparison. i didn't think about it but the entire ideal can be broad, weighing in on all disordered ways of thinking, whether it be eating disorders, panic attacks, depression, or personality disorders. nobody around seems to understand, they act like you can just stop. stop panicking, breathe. stop thinking in black and white. stop changing your mind/being indecisive. stop being sad, cheer up. at least awareness can help to an extent but support does significantly when you can't change the problem.

i love everything you just said. it's so fucking true. people think there's an on/off switch. well i'd like to turn the off switch to your oxygen.

:( /e-hug i;m sorry you had to go through that...and well i know how it feels. it's rough. when i started to lose weight when i went to school, a small continuation program with 15 kids, it was such a hilarious running gag how small i was. and they would always gather around me at lunch and all start blabbering to me at once relentlessly to eat, putting their food all around me and saying that i need it, i don't look right, and of course since they were high schoolers they wouldn't end with the stupid "harmless" hokes and insults. it's funny how later on when my relationship with the place crumbled and they all "let me know how they've always really felt about me" they would happily throw some pretty bullshit about my weight in there and how they were SUCH a nice person for trying to help and i was a raging bitch for going into a state of panic every time they did that shit. i dunno why i just went on about all that, but idk. i want other people to share too. i'm sorry you had to go through that and you have no idea how happy i am just to hear that it's over. the things people say can be so harmful. funniest thing is they don't realize that it's so triggering it just makes people want to eat less and less. "well i was going to eat this here apple but they've upset me so much that i'm not hungry anymore anyway..." oh brains. you and your excuses.

"funniest thing is they don't realize that it's so triggering it just makes people want to eat less and less. "

That right there is SO true. When I'm stressed, I can't eat. Whenever I was around my adoptive family, they'd say certain things and my appetite would go away so I wouldn't eat, and then they nagged at me for it, which made me stressed, which eliminated my appetite. It was an endless cycle.

It does get better, though. I promise it does. I'm proof that there is a way out.

exactly. i don't know why people think that eating while distressed and unsettled is something that can even happen, it's like it zips my stomach shut and squeezes the air out.

thank you. <3 a lot.

That's a good way to put it. I hardly eat as it is (I have a very small appetite), so when I'm stressed, I can easily go the whole day without food.

You're welcome. <3 If you ever need to talk, I'm willing to listen.

yeah for real. i can't stomach much in the first place. people don't know shit, ughh.

and thanks i'll keep it in mind. ^_^

its just incredibly sad and borderline annoying to see beautiful girls be constantly down on themselves about something. stop soaking in all this bullshit about how you "should be" and realize youre your own person.

many eds arent even about weight perfection but all those underlying issues can fuck a kid up. it was so annoying hearing about doctors go on and on about THE UNDERLYING ISSUE but (for me) it was there. in hindsight it WAS all very selfish. i hope you girls find your underlying issue and can live worry free about that kinda stuff.

it'd be awesome if it were that easy. sorry if it's annoying. can't really control it.

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i said in my case it was selfish lol. i didnt mean to imply everyones reason is selfishness. the reason i developed it is irrelevant but i realized the way i treated people around me was selfish.

looking back on the whole is just.. it will only seem insensitive, but the thinking that you "cant" help it or recover from it... it needs to stop. im not saying its easy, but there are things you can do to help yourself. it saddens me to see girls who think they are so weak and succumb to evils that plague them :/ if any of you see a therapist or even have a small support group on the internet thats great, and like i said, good luck cause its really just no way to live.

I just want to say thanks for posting this ❤️ this is something that I really wish a lot more people would understand. An ED affects ME, it does not affect my perception of the people around me. I can't talk to anyone IRL about my problems because of this stigma that people who have a hard time eating are just looking for attention.

I've always struggled with eating and as of right now I'm at the worst point I've ever been- but I won't go into detail. My boyfriend's mom always feels the need to point out how thin I am and how I should get second helpings at dinner and I get so uncomfortable because food is just scary sometimes. I went to visit her at work once and the ladies at her work started asking what size pants I wore because I was "so tiny". Any time someone mentions my weight I'm instantly uncomfortable because I feel like I'm huge, but I know speaking my mind will only make people tell me I'm being stupid. My boyfriend's older brother's girlfriend constantly asks him "does she even eat???" and I get so self-conscious because I honestly feel like I eat so much. Idk what I can do short of forcing food down my throat to make anyone happy- but I know it won't make me happy. The thought of overeating gives me chills.

Lol you sound like my friends, srsly. I've only tried bringing up my ED with one of my friends and he promptly laughed and said 'you're the smallest person I know, stop whining'. I guess that compliment should have made me feel better, but it's just not that simple. I don't look at supermodels or thinspo and think 'man, if I looked like them, my life would be perfect', there's more to it than that. I agree that in a lot of cases (most likely mine) there's an underlying issue that stems from the want to control instead of the want to be a supermodel or some nonsense. Idk if any of this post makes sense, I'm tired but I just thought I'd say something.

I don't have an eating disorder so it's hard to put myself in your position, but I do realize it's not something people just choose to do to themselves..usually. I know my best friend used to say she wanted to stop eating to get skinny, and it always annoyed me. I think my problem is that I don't know when to eat, so I end up only eating once a day late at night or something like that. When I used to smoke weed, I would eat whenever I got high, but now it's hard to judge when I'm hungry, or just bored, so I'll just be like "Oh well.." I don't eat a lot but I'm still fat..Hmm.

Thank you so much for posting this.

"funniest thing is they don't realize that it's so triggering it just makes people want to eat less and less."

Some people seem to have serious difficulties in comprehending just how difficult it is to stick to a meal plan when you have people shoving food at you even after you've flat out told them to stop. It's interesting how even a nurse can say food is just fuel, not something that needs to be enjoyed or thought about. If I didn't care about what food tastes like, I could just as well still enjoy my meals through a nasogastric tube.

And shopping is such a delight when you have people getting offended no matter what you buy. I'm not buying this ice cream to taunt you with my 'ability' to stay thin while eating 'good' stuff, and yes, I intend to actually eat it too, don't worry. Like wise, I'm not being holier than thou by buying nuts and dried fuit instead of candy this time.

I was fully aware that I looked way worse than some people who weighted twice as much as I did. If I could've swapped bodies with them, trust me, I would have

(Gosh, I just had to get that off my chest, sorry for bugging in n__n; )

What a lot of people don't understand either is that over eating can be an eating disorder as well. People assume it's just cause fat-asses like to eat a lot and love sweets, but it is considered an eating disorder still. People with any kind of eating disorder shouldn't be looked down upon, because you're right, it is a disorder, not a choice.

over eating can most certainly be a disorder too. did i say something that sounded offensive? D: sorry if i did. i know that people can't help but he hurt if somebody smaller than them feels uncomfortable with their weight, but i wanted to try and make it more clear that it isn't personal and people don't need to spend time getting worked up over it, and it just harms the person with the ED more when they do. i never had a over eating problem so i wouldn't really understand but i know it must be really tough, people who can't see the real problem behind the things people do make me really sick.

I totally understand what you mean. People would always tell me that a strong breeze could knock me over, and after I'd recovered and gained 25 pounds, my mom's friend said I have an eating disorder by America's standards. I know he didn't mean anything by it, but it hit me funny, after all I'd been through to get to triple digits.