Well the tent was slightly stressful today, but mostly because I didn't wear any more than a shirt and pullover hoodie, and didn't layer sweats under my pants. Chilly. 18 degrees with midday rain is a hard day to call temperature wise in June.

What a wild news post today. So many details. I went over to the collections and made it all the way through 2018 wishlisting more items. I'll have to take a break lol.

Also thank you a bunch for gold again this month. I've felt so annoying lately I really felt like I didn't deserve such a kindness.

I lost my streak too. 80 somethings days. I ragequit so hard when I found out they were changing the forum ticket award system. I wanted to scream. The homeless tent was pretty chill. Mostly reading and conversating with normies who (one 50yr old man and one 30yr old woman) of whom the old guy admitted he was desperate for conversation, in a roundabout way. Kinda sad that at the end, a young woman came over and was so destroyed on fent or whatever that she just slumped over into her oatmeal. I tried to unbend her and get the oatmeal out from under her but she like, pushed my hand away and made slurring words of gentle protest when I tried to unbend her gently with a hand on the shoulder. The cool guy I was working with had a semi-good explanation about something something needing the female touch, which might make some sense. As in another lady could be a lot rougher in helping the helpless one lol.

I go back for another round on Monday. It's no prob.

Ordered groceries recently ($200 for 18 items including expensive medicated shampoo for dermatitiscels) and got some fuckin Guy Fieri chipotle sauce for homemade Farmer's Wraps (Tim hortons style with hashbrown&egg&cheese). So now I've got "Flavourtown! Image of GuyFieri with his platinum white hair in my fridge so that's pretty based. I forgot to order coke, but ordered my second case of 8 Red Bulls, so I've been tripling down on Red Bull for fluids lol. I'll have to order groeceries again and get some pick me ups plus coke before Monday so I can slurp my way through mind-numbing anxiety hell at ze tent. Probably exhausted most of the interesting conversation with the folks on that first period.

Other than that, musicmaxxing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1_Ft2mzxzU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl2PXII8FrM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shutpbWwm_w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0JcLyWZxXc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6Cjpdp2lWg

Honestly the no alone time feeling can get so aggravating. Like when everybody was working here, the alone time was plentiful, everything was chill and everybody could beat off to their heart's content. Then Jordy got fired and never got another job and it seriously felt like he was ruining everything. Obviously now that everything is how it is, it doesn't matter. But that was definitely a big part of my life falling apart, when you're working, and someone steals your alone time with their own inability or lack of will to vacate the premises... Of course right now too as I type this my dad is doing his "I'm slowly dying from smoking and drinking all my life" coughs and loud pissing. Genuinely feels like the people around me, their natural functions, are explicitly done to make me go insane. What a world. Just woke up, a little ornery and stressed out so I guess that's why I feel the need to go off about it. It's seriously vulgar the sounds this old man is making. And yet I don't feel bad at all. Just angry.

My teeth are pretty much a guarantee I'll never have another relationship. I hate everything dental so much. As long as they're not hurting too much I can't be arsed for now. I hear people shit talk the dentists nowadays anyways, the standard of dental work isn't what it used to be. Have amateurs scraping at your teeth these days just to charge you for damaging what's there. I'm glad I was able to get my problem teeth pulled without much issue, at least extractions are usually fairly simple, though I did have to endure a little more pain than probably my old Dentist would've allowed. They probably skimp on the numbing agent in this economy lol. Ah... Who knows. I'm in such a foul mood this evening lol.

Well, to leverage the phrase of the century, it issss what it issss. I can say that nobody has given us a reason to be good good good in this world! Lol, the social contract has been smashed to smithereens so, as the old song says "Anything goes". Hey, I'm not in a position to judge anyone, I literally indulge in every single sexual horror humans can commit on the screen, turns out biblical morality was gatekeeping some prime gooner fetishes. I do hate myself, that much I admitted to the Bail Lady in question when I went to go see her. We got to talk about my favourite subjects again a little lol, with all my seething backhanded incel rhetoric and everything. God bless her patient soul. She helped me file for an extension on my bail so I can finish my hours. It has been messy trying to indeed move forward with that, some crossing of the wires regarding communication. She said she would call me the next day, so I waited for the phonecall while drifting off to sleep because I stay up all night every night (Partly to do with vices, partly to do with a complete disdain for humanity and their diurnal nature) but then she ended up emailing me instead so I got her message about calling this Other woman late, which meant that when I tried to call that woman to discuss details yesterday, she didn't pick up (Probably unavailable for the weekend, hence today I also went to bed at like, 1pm). So now I gotta call on Monday and see if I can set up when to come in to volunteer at the homeless shelter tent, and then, of course, I have to manage to be awake enough to follow that through and finish off my 30-40 remaining hours. Of course, I'm scary broke until the 27th so I don't even know if I am gonna be functioning on Monday or having a nervous breakdown due to lack of creature comforts like cigarettes, coffee, creamer, agreeable food.

It is what it is, the life of ze miserable incel. (Laughing thru the pain like the joker in da rain)

I'm sorry to hear you're not getting much alone time. I used to like how my work schedule misaligned with dad and brother when they both worked so I had free time every day.

Yeah that's a factor. No better way to put it, the uncertainty of this outside world is just too much for my brain sometimes.

I just got some Canadian Dental Plan renewal reminder and I'm pretty sure I don't even have a membership # because I think I got my coverage by just talking with the dental office receptionist. I have no idea if I got some member card and misplaced it. I hate paperwork. Hopefully the future requires no more paperwork, too tapped out.

Stuff with the guy? Well in a sense I know what you mean. I can't shake my addictions and in the end, we're all addicted to chasing evil things for evil joy in these days. Still sucks, still not the best "ought" but it just goes to show, it's not all in our control. Society's owners playing a role in everything. I assume however.

I hope things work out toward the best outcome regardless!