<center> </center><br /> The following is the transcript of a Subeta News Network special report from the front lines of the war against squirrels: <br /><br /> Database server 2 sustained heavy damage today when squirrels overran a disk array controller, forcing technicians to update its firmware. <br /><br /> Fortunately, no civilian data was harmed, as database server 2 was operating solely in backup capacity at the time. <br /><br /> However, the recent squirrel attack will result in a 15-minute downtime window tonight beginning at 1 AM Subeta time, in order to repair the broken link between the database servers. <br /><br /> Programmer alx announced the downtime earlier today, as well as hinted that new tactics are being deployed to hopefully win the war against Subeta's squirrel population once and for all. <br /><br /> That's all we have at this time. Thank you for listening to Subeta News Network!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Deleted User

Mark my words, I will get that squirrel.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Masquerade
Avatar Border
User Avatar

I love the way you put this message across. Best news post about down time ever. They should all be like this

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by versace_633
User Avatar

Silly squirrels...cute thou O.o

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by krdmtx
User Avatar

guess them darn squirrls got after subeta tonight . gonna have to get them darn squirls lol

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Deleted User

wait what im very cunfused like a lot

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Deleted User

Yesterday my dog killed a real life squirrel. So, I think I've attributed to the cause. haha.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by TheCryptKeeper
Avatar Border
User Avatar

Awesome way to let us know what is happening to our home away from home. I am tuned into Subeta News Network awaiting further updates. No squirrels in Australia, though our possums would possibly very close. Just a whole lot bigger!! They get into everything, break, destroy and get up to their fair share of mischief. Lets hope the squirrels don't know about these guys!!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by kiruna
Avatar Border
User Avatar

Can't we bribe the squirrels with enough nuts to sick 'em on another site? And I've always laughed at my husband when he said they're out to get us... He quotes the Geico commercial for proof, where the squirrels plot to cause that guy to wreck... Maybe ya'll could get some cats to chase them away?

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Jenni
Avatar Border
User Avatar

Oh actually, just to announce; Walker's have released Cajun Squirrel flavoured crisps. Hm. I think we will win this fight.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Jenni
Avatar Border
User Avatar

LOL. I read this with like the news suspenseful music you get in the background. XDDD <3333

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Chameleoncat
User Avatar

ahhh squirrels!! get the bazooka!! takes out bazooka

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Deleted User

and they seemed so inocent sob

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by daveyjones
Avatar Border
User Avatar

roflmao!!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Lisa
Avatar Border
User Avatar

OHMYGODWe'reallgonnaDIE! runs around in circles screaming, smacks into a wall, and falls over, mumbling about pretty birdies

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Deleted User

Can we not just offer the squirrels our birdfeed?

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by WAVVES
User Avatar

Aren't squirrels edible? ...

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by PlooshieQueen
User Avatar

I love how things like this get shared on this site and turned into a funny tale for all of us to read. Thanks for keeping everyone informed and as much as I hate the site going down... those sqls are so cute Only on subeta would a site issue be turned into such a cute item.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by minno150
User Avatar

Hey! I was just thinking... let's have a restock war, Subeta Team against the squirrels. XD

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by minno150
User Avatar

XD Silly programmer.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by sunshine15
Avatar Border
User Avatar

.....and I agree with Morticia gg

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by sunshine15
Avatar Border
User Avatar

Yes - this evil squirrels are getting worse last time

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by PUNK
User Avatar

I love the SQLs though! shifty eyes

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Morticia
Avatar Border
User Avatar

Time to hire a squirrelscatcher

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Deleted User

YOU DAMN SQRL!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Opalite
Avatar Border
User Avatar

This was so much more fun to read lol

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by pinkbee
Avatar Border
User Avatar

aaarrrrgggg.... now there are more errors than before. Stupid squirrels.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by johnathan
User Avatar

Looks like I picked a bad time to do my item hunts. ^^;;

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Chezza
User Avatar

Them squirrels are nuts!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by ManeteeMadneses
User Avatar

I have to admit. This is one new broadcast that I was totally glued to and laughed and cried at the same time. Awesome reporting.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Morgenstern
Avatar Border
User Avatar

Neva! We shall rule the world

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Morgenstern
Avatar Border
User Avatar

Neva! We shall rule the world >:3

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by o0_CareBear_0o
User Avatar

LMAO!! Thanks For The Laugh This Was Such Funny News!!!! I Mean I Am Sorry The Servers Are Going Down But What A Great Story!! Made Me Laugh Anyway.. Thanks I Needed It!! Good Luck On Fixing Things..

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Astellig
User Avatar

lol maybe we should set up a squirrel colony far away from the servers to transport them to then you should have less and less squirrel attacks lol

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Deleted User

-salutes- Good Luck!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by space
Avatar Border
User Avatar

Oof, darn those squirrels!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by glory_720
Avatar Border
User Avatar

Well, I guess I can shower since Subeta has been consuming my life since I found it a whole three days ago... I suppose I should thank the squirrels for helping me get my life together again.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Callisto
User Avatar

Best news ever!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Pearl_Animagus
User Avatar

Are you sure you didn't leave a can of nuts near the servers!? Crazy squirrels...

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by TheseHeights
Avatar Border
User Avatar

Man, I'm seriously starting to hate squirrels with a passion now thanks to Subeta.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Lace_and_Metal
User Avatar

Stupid Squirrels!

Awesome way of letting us know :3

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by AwesomeRicky
User Avatar

Sql? Ugly? That's NUTS!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Trauma
User Avatar

silly squirrels, servers are for programmers.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by knochenherz_203
User Avatar

i love squirrels ._.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Lily
Avatar Border
User Avatar

Oops, that didn't work very well. I just wanted the images. Gaw!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Tonne
User Avatar

omg i love how you guys informed us! Very cool. Now to War! xD It's squirrel hunting time!!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by znogirl
User Avatar

Very clever alx. The writer in my is highly amused. Good luck! ~Znogirl out!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Nebulae
User Avatar

God squirrels scare me.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Deleted User

looks at Garenth You.. are bad.LOL

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Tate
User Avatar

thanks for the warning prepares for war

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Deleted User

How many times do I need to tell you. Don't touch their nuts.

Leave a Comment

Use @username to mention someone. Supports markdown formatting.