<center> </center><br /> The following is the transcript of a Subeta News Network special report from the front lines of the war against squirrels: <br /><br /> Database server 2 sustained heavy damage today when squirrels overran a disk array controller, forcing technicians to update its firmware. <br /><br /> Fortunately, no civilian data was harmed, as database server 2 was operating solely in backup capacity at the time. <br /><br /> However, the recent squirrel attack will result in a 15-minute downtime window tonight beginning at 1 AM Subeta time, in order to repair the broken link between the database servers. <br /><br /> Programmer alx announced the downtime earlier today, as well as hinted that new tactics are being deployed to hopefully win the war against Subeta's squirrel population once and for all. <br /><br /> That's all we have at this time. Thank you for listening to Subeta News Network!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by taffyann
Avatar Border
User Avatar

Ok, I just want to say I love all the Squirrely items and now news posts Too funny!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Bagheera23608
User Avatar

Excellent reporting. I will nominate you for the Pulitizer!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by ShakenBridge
Avatar Border
User Avatar

This definitely makes the downtime for amusing and puts a nice spin on the errors...I mean, squirrel hijackings.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Alchemy
User Avatar

Ode To Squirrel

Little squirrel on the page, I hate you, now go away. You drive me close to insanity, and you really destroy me entirely. I dispise the way you stop my quests, so leave me be, you little pest. You made me lose the perfect auction, you caused me to miss those expensive stockings. Little squirrel in front of me, I hate your guts, so let me be.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by lieutfaber
User Avatar

Silly SQLs.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by CrystalNightFox
User Avatar

Interesting.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Scorpia_637
User Avatar

lol that was the most entertaining news i've ever read.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Rarre
User Avatar

noo, damn you squirrels!! haha I love the Subeta News Network

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Deleted User

Wow, the first copy off the press is great! I can't wait for the next issue, though it may be on happier terms ;D Thank you for the entertaining post!

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by AloneInShadow
User Avatar

Alex, you're such a dork. But we love you anyway.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Mirabel
User Avatar

LMAO. xD Great post Alex.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Deleted User

xD Haha. Now it's a war?

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Meddy
User Avatar

LOL! Thanks for the breaking news bulletin!! watches for squirrels

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Rex_974
User Avatar

That was awesome.

Keep doing stuff like that, and we won't mind the downtime so much. xD

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Xenalicious
Avatar Border
User Avatar

MMKay...LOL

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Sirensong
Avatar Border
User Avatar

ROFL - thanks for the entertaining update.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by ache
User Avatar

That was the best news update I've ever read.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Flaunt
Avatar Border
User Avatar

oh poop. x3

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Plipkat
User Avatar

ROFL. iluAlex. 8D

I do love squirrel, but I hope these stay away for good. :c

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Snake
User Avatar

Man I hate squirrels

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by lurk
User Avatar

XD I love you, Alex.

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Alewiina
Avatar Border
User Avatar

-shakes fist at those damn squirrels-

December 31, 1969, 7:00 pm by Deleted User

Accursed squirrels. -glare- Is there a squirrel colony you guys haven't taken care of?

Leave a Comment

Use @username to mention someone. Supports markdown formatting.