Dear CC,

Have you ever eaten something that has given you severe ass breath or done something to ass-ify your mouth? I know I have. Orange gum before napping gives you serious ass breath, and then you wake yourself up. Also, Icebreaker Sours mints turn some of the saliva in your mouth into little globs of sour crap. It's nearly solid, but it's not.

Now plz discuss assification of the mouth.

One does not have to be told they have ass breath. :( They can taste it.

I've learned never to eat smelt before bed as a late-night snack. When you wake up, it tastes and most likely smells like something died in your mouth...something vaguely fishy :x

Coffee. One of my friends in high school would drink coffee every morning, and when she talked it smelled EXACTLY like hot, fresh, dog shit on the sidewalk in the summer sun.

Oh, ranch dressing, tartar sauce and onions give me pretty raunchy breath, and certain mouth wash will give me horrible halitosis when I wake up.

popcorn and chocolate.

i always eat them because those are basically the only things they have in the lounge at my dad's work. i always regret it later though, because my breath smells like total ass :(

Oh my god. Tomato Basil Wheat Thins. No lie. Worst breath ever.. and then... if you sleep right after you eat them.. it like STEWS and it's SO much worse.

I bought a box thinking they were the ones I like, but I like the parmesian ones better. But this guy I was dating kept eating them, and then he fell asleep.. and god help me, when he woke up, it was ten times worse, seriously. I just threw them away after that because.. I couldn't handle that breath anymore.

Garlic shrimp.

Just...ugh. :c

I don't recommend eating that for dinner. You wake up the next morning and you just want to die. :(

Well, Vietnamese people like to either A) Pickle everything possible. B) Dry everything that shouldn't be dried. C) Put animals in wine to ferment, when they're not supposed to (like birds, snakes, and centipedes). D) Let things sit in salt so their digestive fluids liquefy the animal itself. Well unfortunately, I've eaten all of the above except for C (spare me that crazy bullshit D: ). All of it gives you more than ass breath, for real. It's unearthly how terrible some of these things smell, truly. But anyways, we have this fish sauce called "nuoc mam" that is just, holy shit. It smells and tastes like liquefied fish. And the smell doesn't leave your breath for HOURS. Try all you like to get rid of it, but it won't go away. Not even Listerine will do anything. Eating salsa before taking a nap gives me some serious ass breath though. And even if I'm not napping, it'll ruin my breath. D: But I've never chewed gum or eaten any mints before napping, so I wouldn't know. :P

[edit] How many people knew of heard of ArtificialMuffin before you saw him on this thread? I'm taking a poll so I can shove it in his face later.

:(...This is a new species of assification. You breath has clearly been anusified once before.

UHGG Jelly beens. I'm not kdding, A handfull of thoose before bed, you wake up with foul tastes in your mouth. And not even brushing AND a handful of mints can't get the taste outtt!!

Barbecue potato chips give me the worst breathe ever. But dammit they taste good.

You have ass breath no matter what you eat, Andrezj. Always.

i love milk, but i can't drink it without getting this terribly, ass-worthy aftertaste. my breath probably proves it. >3<

you gross gross child.

ew i have a habbit of eating weird shit before bed, like green olives. i usually brush my teeth afterwards though, but if i eat them during the day my breath is gross, especially since i eat them with crackers and cream cheese. C:

Salted Peanuts. :(

I love that stuff, but even after drinking a bottle and a half of water, the horrible taste would NOT go away.

I eat garlic until my skin smells like it. It's terrifying and nastayyy. I'm anal about brushing teeth though so I don't get the stewing thing. Only the amount of garlic I ingest won't budge no matter what. Only time can wear it off :(

Chocolate and any kind of meat. You wake up and it's like O DANG. MUST GO BRUSH TEETH. :(

Coffee is the only thing that comes to mind, only I can taste that shitty smell so I always carry mints/gum on me so I'm not like those people in the Eclipse gum commercials.

(2,000 posts, yay! :))

I love eating those honey mustard and onion pretzel peices but they give me wicked assbreath