While it is really lovely to receive gifts, I have a hard time with not being able to thank someone for them. The catholic guilt (I'm not religious but was bought up that way) is too much. Could there possibly be a way to make it so you can thank the anonymous gifter without their identity being exposed?

Ha ha fucking ha. I'm tired of cunts messing with me.

https://subeta.net/forums.php/read/865113/Thank-your-anonymous-gifter-here-v3

I dunno if they'll read the thread, but this board is pretty busy.

ngl, a way to send an anon gifter a pre-scripted event along the lines of "USERNAME is grateful for the anon giftbox!", all without revealing their username? That would be cool. On the other hand, people who do Drills' quests drop anon giftboxes because he has that as a quest requirement sometimes and getting an event for every anon Drills giftbox would get annoying.

I'd rather separate anon gifts from non-friend gifts entirely in the options though. 3 separate options: disable anon gifts, disable non-friend gifts, disable all gifts. Then I can opt-out of just anon gifts while leaving non-friend and friend giftboxes enabled. And other users can adjust it to their preferences. I know it gets wild during Lumi and sometimes people don't want to get gifts at all.

I really don't like anon gifts so I disabled gifting from non-friends. Posting on that topic always felt so weird and spammy. :/

[edit]If someone's deliberately being a dick and sending you rude anon giftboxes, you can def report those. Staff will sort it out.

While convoluted (it took me a while to understand your point but that's on me, not you) as your reply is I agree. Also in the case of Major Drills if you just gift your friends I'm sure they wouldn't mind. Even if it was just something to frag.

That thread assumes anon gifters are hanging out there in order to get a thank you. Does nothing to placate my uncomfortable feeling of not being able to thank someone in a personal manner.

As an occasional anon gifter, I think I like the idea of having a pre-scripted or (preferably) a short message option for someone to send a thank you back if they wanted to. I sometimes wonder if the gift was received, and if they liked it and were able to use it, etc. I don't always remember to check that thread.

However, it should be made to look completely optional, because I definitely would not feel cool on either side of the gifting process if it seemed like the gift absolutely required a thanking every single time. I don't send gifts to get thanked - I send them to brighten someone's day. And if I felt obligated to send a thanks each time I received a gift, or like the person getting a gift would be obligated to thank me, that would diminish the fun of gift-giving quite a bit.

On the other hand, having the ability - the option - to thank them would be nice.

You have articulated my meaning so much better than I did. I in no way think it should be mandatory but the option would be wonderful. Just to appease the catholic guilt. 😂

Nobody has control over the feeling of guilt but the person who has it.

You want the gift, but only if you can also demand something else from the gift-giver that they themselves didn't want to give you. Because otherwise they'd have found another way, there's lots of ways to give someone something here.

Maybe set your gifts to friends only than make one users particular problem everyone else's.

I'd like some sort of way to send a thank-you to an anonymous gifter as well. Besides also growing up and developing ye olde Catholic Guilt, it'd be really nice to have like, a way to confirm that I got it and really appreciate it. Hell, maybe it could even be a minor sP sink, too--kind of like how wrapping paper costs sP at the gift center, have a "send a thank-you card" option that costs like 10k sP or something.

That's not entirely on you. I can be a little wordy in my posts. 😂

Butyes, I do agree with you. Some optional way to send a confirmation/thank you to the anon gifter would be nice! As well as a way to opt out of anon gifts only if you don't want to get those. Getting anon gifts doesn't make me feel guilty, but they do give me really bad anxiety.

I really like the thank-you card idea has.

Something like this would make me opt out of anon gift giving. If getting anon gifts makes you uncomfortable, then set non-friend gift-giving to no.

That said, I certainly wouldn't be opposed to a new account setting that was no anon gifts (vs. no gifts at all). Because the last thing I want to do is make someone uncomfortable with a gift.

The reason I'm sending an anon gift is because I don't want someone to feel obligated - to either thank me or feel they need to send me something.

For Drills quests I generally only send stuff to people on my list of drills giftees and let them know its a drills gift.

The idea of people opting out of anon/non-friend gifting makes me sad. Sometimes I just want to give people little gifts of appreciation without them knowing it was me. Why you wanna take away my joy? Why won't you let me love you?!?

From what I'm seeing here, people are offering the option of blocking anon gifts on both sides of the argument: block anon gifts if you don't want to not be able to send a thank you. Block anon gifts because now you are able to send a thank you and you feel obligated. How about...don't block anon gifts either way? Unless people are being mean.

As I said before, I offered my support for this, but only if it was in a completely unobtrusive, unobligatory way. No one should be made to feel guilty for not saying thank you for an unsolicited, anonymous gift, but if someone wants to, it's nice to have the option.

If someone sends a gift anonymously, they most likely don't want to be thanked. Don't put your guilt onto anonymous gifters. Just use the appropriate forum if you feel the need. It's there and it's easy to use!

I would probably stop gifting people if a 'thank your anonymous gift giver' button were implemented. People would definitely feel guilted into having to click that, so you'd be thanked 90% of the time, get used to it and wonder why you didn't get the obligatory 'thank you' the other 10%. :P Nty.

But I think if an anonymous thank you of some sort were implemented, there should be a way for the gifter to opt out of that too because receiving thank yous also makes some anon-gifters just as uncomfortable

We can not always assume that the primary reason is because they don't want a thank you. Thanking is not guilt; it's basic courtesy. It's like if someone says "Hi" to you, remember to say "Hi" back to them.

Fortunately, thanking doesn't have to be elaborate. The "Thank Your Anon Gifter" thread has been excellent at this job for ages. You don't even need to post the items you received, and the anon gifter doesn't have to read it if they feel uncomfortable with that.

Instead of having new complicated ways to thank them back, Subeta could just provide a link to the "Gift Bragging" section for anon gifts and suggest that you could thank your anon gifter there, because not everyone knows about that section.

People who send gifts for Drills quests could add a note saying what the gift is for eg "Drills quest. No need to thank."

Anon gifts make me very anxious and uncomfortable even when on medication. Period. I've had a note about this on my profile. People did it anyway. I've tried to "get over it" (b/c I know someone out there is gonna suggest that magical remedy), and that didn't work out. So until I find a better way to "get over it", I've disabled all non-friend gifts because Subeta didn't give me the option to toggle only anon gifts off.

I think the biggest issue I have is that the Anon Gift Bragging topic always felt insincere to me. Ditto with leaving a "thank you to all anon gifters!" note on a profile. I want to tell the person that I got their gift and that I appreciate it, but I really don't feel comfortable being forced into a situation where it feels like I'm showing off and yelling it at the entire Subetan world: "HEY I GOT A FEW ANON GIFTS, THANKS! Here's what I got in every single giftbox because I don't want any anon gifters to feel like I don't appreciate it and I don't want to get reamed offsite for being an ungrateful bitch because I forgot to post, or accidentally missed someone."

[edit]Also something to take note of: whoever does the gifting can easily type "please don't thank me, instead pass it on and gift someone else!" in their anon gift message if they don't want to be thanked. Or just delete the event.

That's what I did. There should be an option to toggle anon gifts off.

Id like the thank you option. I want to the giver to know that I appreciate that they thought of me

No thank you.

The topic in Bragging & Complaining is sufficient. I’m another person who would stop using the feature if this suggestion was implemented. A generic thank you is spammy to me tbh.

I wish you'd pinged me for this because I'm just now seeing it (it was showing up on my Pulse but ironically I kept thinking it was the bragging thread!). I just want to say I totally and 100% agree. Mental health is ultimate, and also the effect you describe is of course the complete and total opposite of the gift's intention, so I would never want that to be the result of my sending a gift (to you or anyone else). Thank you for helping me to better understand why people don't like anon gifts. :)

One of the main reasons I like to send anon gifts is related - I get anxious when the attention is on me, and I feel like giving anonly can let me be more generous without seeming ostentatious about it. But if I'm causing undue stress in my gift recipients, that's definitely not something I want to have happen.