Hello!

Earlier this week, noticing there are no groups for lesbian and bisexual women only, I created the forum group .

Please join us if you're a lesbian or bisexual woman! ^^

In the future there will be more content to the forums of the group; please don't hesitate to create threads you'd like to see.

This is a great group! I'm not lesbian, but I believe I'm bi-curious. If I had female friends (or found any females) that were willing to experiment, I'd give it a go.

Bumping for more people to join.

Also pinging all the people from with the message:

If you're a lesbian or bisexual woman (meaning a female), you might be interested in joining , a new forum group that will hopefully become more active as time passes.

Just to let you know, bumping is against forum rules.

Is it restricted to lesbian and bisexual female only?

Okay, but why? Feels odd to be a 'no boys allowed' kinda deal.

Yes, exactly. Only lesbian and bisexual females can join the group.

No, it's not odd at all. Lesbians are attracted to women only and bisexual women will be approved specifically because they're attracted to women. Lesbian and bisexual women need a group to interact with each other only.

What about women who are ace and romantically attracted to women? Or pansexual/queer identifying women who are also attracted to women? Tbh this comes across as kinda exclusionary.

I don't see how dudes can speak to lesbian and feminine-identifying experiences. If you identify as a woman and identify as les/bi/queer, then this is the place for you.

said this much better than I could.

Asexual women who are romantically attracted to women can join our group, of course. Pansexual is code for bisexual anyway so they should understand it's fine. "Queer" (is a slur fyi, so you shouldn't call people this) means you're not declaring sexuality for various reasons, but as long as they are women attracted to other women, they can join our group.

If you're a female attracted to other females you are welcome to our group. No males allowed.

ok cause i'm pretty sure that's what was actually asking lol

Oh well, I assumed something else entirely. Anyway yeah, the bolded text in my previous post is the definite rule of joining our group.

As a pansexual woman, I would just like to interject and say that you're incorrect. Bisexuals are attracted to men and women (the binary genders). Pansexuals are attracted to non-binary (agender, third gender) as well. To say that pansexuals are "code" for bisexual is to disregard non-binary genders and focus only on the biologically determined, socially accepted "penis and vagina" (sexual) versions of gender.

It's nice to have a group for folks like us, though, so thank you for starting that up.

Hmm. Well thanks babe for making it clearer. Sadly I'm agender (non-binary) but I have female parts and accept she as common reference. Either way, still not female.

Also thanks for pointing that out! I was about to do it :P It's indeed nice to have such a group.

I'm only half out, so this group sounds like a great thing for me. Especially since all the non-straight friends I have are gay/bi men xD Hope this is the start of something great!

Off topic (and stop me if it's too personal/I'm being rude) but I've been trying to make the concept of gender identity click in my head for a while with no luck. I was wondering if you (or anyone else) might have something to say that would help me out. Like I feel like I'm only female because I was raised so :c

i mean the gender binary is all social-construct bull. i totally hear you on being taught to identify as a woman (i visually present/pass as a cis woman, but i definitely f* w/ gender), vs. innately feeling like one. "female" is usually used to specifically reference genitalia, as i understand it? i've personally never REALLY felt like a woman aside from the ways i am treated by other people as a woman.

hey hey hey! i see you! <3 i identify as non-binary/genderqueer & use both she/her & they/them pronouns.

i totally totally understand not having cis boys in this group--we live in a patriarchy, men generally dominate all the spaces that they are in, so creating spaces are important.

i will say that i think specifying that the group is just for les&bi women is exclusionary of people who are trans* dfab (designated female @ birth), trans women, or non-binary/genderqueer. and if you want a group that is just for cis women that's totally cool, especially if that's the space you feel equipped to facilitate and the space you're interested in. but other people exist in the world besides people who identify as men & women. a LOT of other people.

i also personally identify as queer. the term has roots as a slur, but there's been a lot of reclamation behind the term. the use of the term has to do mostly with context, i think--including the speaker's own sexual orientation and whether or not they benefit from a world that oppresses non-straight folks.

Ok that makes me feel a little better. I'm mostly concerned about how to understand trans people when I can't understand gender. I really ought to go to more LGBT+ events and ask people but it can be a bit overwhelming (and I don't want to upset anyone!)

I hear you. The internet can, in lots of ways, be a great resource to understand gender! Of course it's also the internet, so there's a lot of bs that's around too--but developing some understanding of how systems work (which is HUGE! and hard! and an endless, ongoing learning/deconstructing process) and listening and stopping and asking questions is so so so important.

//A general rule--if someone is spewing hate speech, they're probably not coming from a very authentic or honest place. Which is different from some expressing frustration with people who commit violence towards them.

And it's a really big deal that you recognize you don't understand these things! Things are confusing because the answers are also complex and not always complete, and definitely not accessible. It's good to step back and listen to people's stories. They will always be the authorities on their own experiences. x & x are some quick gender stories.

It's usually best to take the resources offered vs. asking for them, because it's really a lot of labor to ask people to constantly explain their own existences & realities in a world that tries to erase them & is violent at every turn. Which isn't to say, don't talk to people! Because we must! Talking to people you trust is super important. And people reserve the right to tell you they don't want to talk about things. Asking things like "Can I ask you a question about ______?" won't hurt anyone--that gives them the option to say yes or no.

/////////////SORRY THIS IS SUPER LONG, i know it's a LOT. but it's a big question & while this is far from a whole answer (it's a lifelong journey tbh) & if you ever want to talk about it (& i can just listen instead of spew, promise, or it can be back & forth, etc), i am super here for it.

Lol don't apologise, thank you for taking the time to talk to me! I know it's a huge question. Those stories were interesting to read. I have done a lot of reading online about it, but it's just been something I don't get. And then I feel like I'm failing the community! It would actually be great to talk about it though I have no idea what I'm really looking for xD

You're not failing anyone, including yourself! You're still learning. We all are. And everyone has to start somewhere.

It's okay to not know what you're looking for--odds are good that it's 1) more than one thing 2) complex, etc. We can always chat here/other forums/comments/sMail, whatevs you prefer.

What sort of stuff have you been reading? Tbh I haven't done much research on the gender spectrum, & should do more of that myself. Most of what I know has been taught to me by friends who live outside the binary.