Hello Subeta users and Friends.

Im here to tell you my story of my life from the past few years. This story is about harassment abuse and bullying. For 6 years i worked for this one company that i really liked, was able to joke around with people keep busy with work and make a very pretty penny every two weeks. In the past 4 years working for this company ive became a victim of harassment, and for a guy its extremely hard for me to admit something like this. As a man people assume we don't speak we keep things to ourselves as a man we don't like to admit too many things such as harassment or bullying. But at a point we only can take so much of anything and everything. I took so long to tell my own wife the things I have been through at work didn't want to admit that anything was wrong I put my pride in the way and I shouldn't have. Growing up I was the type of person to bully other kids throughout my middle school and high school years. I would verbally abused almost anybody who seemed like an easy target. In May 2005 I have met my future wife and decide to change my whole life around from what I was doing. Maybe it was my turn to feel how my victims felt when I did it to them maybe it was Karma. So in the past 4 out of the 6 years I've been working for this company and I have met many people there but one person that I've met was not a good person to talk to you this person decided to do what I did to kids in the past. He harassed me and he bullied me he put me down for things I wore the way I look the way I dress to the way I walk to the way I talk the four whole years I don't want this. No one should have to deal with this no one should have to go through this to be going through this myself was painful and hurtful I hid behind a smile a lot of the time. Many people in my own workplace seen what I went through. Today March 8th 2016 I went to go pick up my last check ever. As always waiting for my human resources to call me to go into her office people who went there came up to me and told me things and saying it was because of him that you left. We seen the things he's done to you we heard the things he said to you we understand why you walked out of here. I didn't get to think about it but once I got home and now I'm talking to my wife, my wife even wondering if these people saw and heard what I was going to through how come they didn't say anything themselves when I didn't. Yes I understand I should have gone to somebody and talk to them I should have stepped up and talk to a manager or supervisor or even the main boss. Was it smart for me just to walk out and not say a word maybe maybe not many people would agree abd many people would disagree with me. I had to do what I had to do to get out of there very quick. The one thing I'm trying to say right now is if your a victim of harassment or bullying at workplace or school don't be afraid go up to a supervisor teacher anybody and try to get help. A guy or woman adult or a teenager no matter who you are we can all fall and become a victim of harassment what are some type of abuse and if you are a person who sees these things happening don't be afraid to bring it up to them or to someone that can help you help them. Don't let them go through this alone don't let something like this pass by you if you see this happen don't be afraid. I'm not looking to hear it sorry from anybody on this website I'm not here to get sympathy from anybody I'm only here posting this topic to say if you're a victim go get help not let it keep going and if you see somebody getting harassed or bullied help them don't let it keep going. Thank you for your time for reading this topic for reading my post.

One thing i want to ask everyone is, will you please get my word out will you please ping friends or groups to spread my story.

Holy fuck . I am so very sorry my friend. I wish I could go punch that asshole in the dick. You shouldn't have to of had to carry this burden on your own friend. If and whenever you feel like this and you need a friend please don't hesitate to send me a message. I never want you to feel like this ever, ever again. I'm glad is there for you my friend. Please accept my apology though. I'm here if you ever need me friend. ❤

Please dont say sorry what is done is done. Ive moved on i just want to give my word to the people of Subeta so if they see this happening to someone of this is happening to them go get help or give the help dont let it happen.

This is a message from my husband to the Subetan community. It's a harsh reminder about the abusive going ons that can occur anywhere. I know that it's lengthy but he's pouring out his feelings. He and I are making it through this and just want to spread awareness. There is always a chance someone else is going through this and thinks they too are alone.

You were a kid, when you did it. Kids are kids, and your message and willingness to talk about it from both sides are amazing. You owned up to your part as a younger person. This person has no right to do what he/she has done. Did you think maybe you went through this for a reason. Maybe that reason, would be that you can go to schools from elementary to high school, and talk about your experience. If any bully can walk a mile in your shoes, and change. You will have made a big difference/ mark in life. Not everyone can say that. Talk to boy and girl clubs, too. Your co-workers were cowards, and it takes a real strong man to cope with what you have. So glad you finally talked about it.

Im glad you got the courage to let go of this pent up anxiety. Your coworkers should be ashamed for not speaking up or helping or notifying a supervisor and it really sucks that you had to leave your job because of it. I wish you luck in the future.

thank you for sharing, I have been bullied through school and work, not a nice feeling, I did go to my manager with my problems but sometimes even they dont help or believe so I agree if others see, dont just sit there, try to help if you can.

4 years ago a boy in our town killed himself because of bullying, most of it cyber-bullying carried over from school. Being bullied is scary and leaves people feeling helpless. This is a horrible thing to have to go through. My heart goes out to you and your family. I only hope the change will bring an even better future. There is a saying in my country: change your location, change your luck (for the better).

Thank you for your honesty and sharing info that everyone can benefit from. I worked with homeless youth, this program helped those within a wide range of problems including gang members to victims of human trafficking. A life can be changed by simply talking about what you have seen to someone in authority - everyone should take this info to heart.

- I wish it had been the bully leaving and not you but hoping now you will be able to find work at a place that does not tolerate bullying. Appreciate your message...I think some folks don't realize that bullying can be found anywhere with any age group. Take care...I'm glad you are out of that environment.

- I wish it had been the bully leaving and not you but hoping now you will be able to find work at a place that does not tolerate bullying. Appreciate your message...I think some folks don't realize that bullying can be found anywhere with any age group. Take care...I'm glad you are out of that environment.

May I offer you some advice, so you don't have to go through that hell again?

I have worked in retail for my entire adult life. I have been through crap, including some very recent crap that I had to settle myself.

Three rules of ANY workplace to follow religiously: The Three D's. Document. Document. Document.

You probably already know that management, and by extension, corporate, are not your friends. They don't care about you, they care about the bottom line and what could hurt the business. This is why documentation is so very important.

Things like harassment have legal repercussions. Aside from the therapy that comes from writing down the day, what you were doing, and what was said, in great detail, it also puts you in a position of power.

I was harassed by a very hostile manager very recently. I went home every day and wrote down everything she said and did to me for over a month straight. Then I called an 800 number from the company handbook and read them all the things that the manager had said and done. I left nothing out, no matter how small or petty (a month of little things adds up, trust me).

I used words like "harassment," "toxic work environment" and "illegal demands" (she once tried to make me do unpaid work from home). I gave them my name and phone number and gave them permission to contact me.

I was contacted by a corporate bigwig within a few days, and a week later he paid the store a visit under the guise of training managers on being more efficient.

I brought a printed up copy of my documentation for his visit and gave it to him. He did a lot of flowery prose about an efficient machine and how if I'm having a bad time, then nobody can succeed, yadda yadda yadda. Typical corporate speak. But with my documentation in his hand he swore to me that things would get better, and he swore to me that he would never say who filed a complaint or that a complaint had actually been filed.

I went back to work, and the turnaround in behavior was immediate. The danger of a lawsuit was obvious. By my own documentation, I basically had the company by the privates and could turn things into an enormous and expensive legal mess. Not that I planned to, but the threat of it turning into such a thing is usually enough to make them dance a merry jig to avoid it.

The hostile manager left me completely alone except to give directions, which was perfectly acceptable.

I know it's over and done with for you, but please take my advice seriously. You do have rights and you can protect yourself. If, in the future, another boss tries to pull similar things on you, you can take my advice and make it stop, rather than suffering miserably like you have in the past.

sends internet hugs

I am so glad you got out of that situation, my friend. It's so tough dealing with all of that and not having someone to talk to. I'm glad you're using this as a learning experience, but I wish there was some way to go back in time and for you to say something to a supervisor or told your wife sooner. big hug I hope karma catches up to the guy who bullied you... as an adult, you'd expect more.

Your message is very clear and well written. Good for you, taking this horrible thing and turning it around to advocate against bullying. It's not fair that you had to leave a job you liked and this person gets to stay and keep earning a paycheck. I wish you had taken steps within your company to right this wrong but at the end of the day you did what you felt you needed to do. Good luck with the new path your on!

and you two are great and I know that you both will come through this even stronger than before. You are both lucky to have each other. J you did what you needed to do and you have owned up to what you did before. Your story is inspiring. In answer to the question as to why no one else said or did anything is because folks believe its easier or better to just stay out of it, or from fear of if they speak up it will happen to them too. Sad thing is these are grown folks who probably have kids and should realize that their actions or non actions show their kids to be the same way. Kids in school when they see bullying they fear saying anything because they dont want to be a target or dont say because they dont know any better. Thing is its not kids that were witnessing the actions and yet they still said nothing. What a sad sad world to live in. Anyhow you got out you did what needed to be done. Better things will come along for you and wifey. squishes you both Im here if ya's need me :D

It sucks that happened to you, I was bullied all through my school years so I know how it feels to be bullied. After graduating high school I have been able to steer clear of bullying for the most part. Though it might be because I am now a very large man that people seem to be afraid of even though I am a big teddy bear. :) There are times when all that bullying comes back to me and I feel terrible about myself. But I am usually able to shake that feeling pretty quickly when I realize it's in the past and I won't let that happen to me ever again. I hope your story will be inspiration to people who are being bullied or even to bullies themselves, and that they will be able to get the help they need. Thank you for sharing your story.

Sharing this to spread the word.

i really appreciate your sharing your story. the best thing any person can do is to talk about what they went through to help others avoid the same bad situations. you are a good person. im glad you dont have ot deal with the bullying any more. stay strong, friend.

good for you for getting out of the mess. No one deserves that kind of treatment! Its sad to see people go through this. I hated seeing that stuff in middle school (I'd always stand up for the teased) and its even more disgusting to see today.

What a good message to spread around! You escaped the bullying which can be hard to do. But it must be done. <3

Thank you, everyone. I read all your messages you guys and girls have posted. I appreciate your sympathy but that's not what my post is here for. This post is just to get my story out and hopefully to inspire someone to help or to look for help some types of harassment verbal abuse bullying or even a sexual harassment assault. If you guys or girls ever see this happening to anybody no matter the age no matter the ethnicity even if its the enemy. No one deserves to go through this. Again thank you for reading my story and please just be aware around you thank you.

Good for you for finally speaking up. Our culture has some problems. We're expected to quietly "tough it out" when really, we shouldn't need to tough out each other. Life is hard enough as it is. We don't need others making it harder. Stay strong. Best wishes.