Like, you think the thought of being with someone is nice and you want to be that close to another person but then you do it and you just realize you can't function around people? Like you just screw everything up every single time? That the relationships that you have been in have all ended because of you?

I don't know if i'm just defective or what

There have been times I've been with people and I realized it would have been better to be alone. Late last year, I had a one night stand with a guy I work with at my volunteer fire company. Word got out about it and he lost his shit on me. I only liked him because I wanted to be physically close to someone. That's when I realized that there are worse things than being alone.

All relationships are a trial. Sometimes they work for 1 month and others work for 10 years while others will work for the rest of your life. It's a give and take and both people have to be willing to work together to make it work. Otherwise, it's worse than being alone. I have taken all my failed relationships and analyzed them so I know what to do differently in the future.

Don't give up. A few months after that disastrous one night stand- I met someone wonderful. I don't know if it's meant to be yet but he is a wonderful person and I can honestly say I hope it is meant to be

I have a hard time meeting people because I literally hate everyone. I am very antisocial, despite trying. I find everyone to be very draining in person. I feel lonely but when I try to get close to people I just end up hating them

Yeeaah I can relate to that somewhat. I'm a mess, haha. I'm sorry if the following comes off as super rude. I don't know if I can give you any advice on not hating everyone, but maybe you should start by looking inside yourself and be curious on what exactly makes you start hating someone when you're trying to get close to them. Do their habits and little peculiarities start to bother you? Is it the prospect of physically having to be around them for longer periods of time? Commitment issues? Something else? If you find that it's something you can work on, you should attempt to do that, but I can tell you, you're not defective. Getting close to people is hard work, and maintaining it is even harder, and when you're not a particularly social person, it will be very draining. If you don't feel that you can immediately invest yourself in a relation with someone desirable, take small steps. Is it the same when you talk to people online? Because I hear you saying that people are draining in person, but if it was just someone you could talk to online, would that still make you hate them?

I think that sometimes it's best for people to be alone, because it's a chance for a person to find themselves, to try and be the best them that they can be, for themselves and for others. But I also believe that there's someone out there for everyone, and some day it'll happen for you too. I'm not attempting to pin this all on you, because you might just have met some people with whom you weren't compatible. And I'm not expecting you to answer me on all these questions; I'd rather want you to ask them to yourself. Best of luck! (Hope this made any sense to you/was semihelpful)

I can easily say it's not the same online. I love talking to people online. It;s really only when people are physically atound me that I find them just so draining.

I find most people draining in general, I'm also quite anti social. I dread seeing people but feel lonely if I don't, so if anybody arranges anything I force myself to go (then dread going). I have a partner, and we do work well, we live together. What helps is we are comfortable relaxing around each other and we don't force conversation. We are comfortable with silence. It sometimes feels like he is an extension of myself. While we do argue sometimes, if it becomes too much we go into separate rooms to give each other space. Space and patience from your partner are sometimes needed for us anti social people. Don't give up!

I'm probably going to have to accept the fact that I'm going to spend my life without a partner. I have misophonia and I don't think I will ever find someone who will put up with that or even try to understand it. My own parents don't, so why should anyone else.

- I should be alone. I really should. Its not because I hate people, because I do want a partner. I'm so tired of being alone. I am with someone right now, long distance, someone I care about and have cared about for a very long time. I am so fond of him. He likes me, or seems to like me... we've been friends for years and years, and knowing that I can tell him of the warm feelings and when I got to see him to play smoochyface ? Oh gosh. Makes my heart swell with joy.

Ah but then why should I be alone ? I'm just not good enough for him, or anyone. I'm poor, and live in a trailer in a small town that's also poor and remote. I have some life altering health issues and disability that really means I should not be with anyone and ask anyone to take on my burden. It's not fair to ask someone to give up their life to take care of me. He deserves someone better, someone closer, someone who won't be a burden. I've got glaucoma, and I'm losing my sight. Sooner rather than later, I will be fully blind and I can't in good conscience ask someone to be with me after I lose my sight. It's not fair. It breaks my heart, but I just can't fathom why anyone would be with a disabled person like me. I've also recently discovered I'm drastically losing my hair, and as of right now there's nothing I can do (I have a doc appt next Friday) and feel so ashamed of that on top of my sight ? Christ. It's horrifying. I haven't even talked to him about this new development because it's just too much to bear right now.

This is nice, while it lasts, but, I don't know how much longer we'll last because he's got to wise up and see there's so many ways I'm just not good enough and I'm too hard to be with. I'm enjoying it while it lasts though, and every day it's still not over is one more day than I should ever have hoped for, one more day than I deserve, and I['m thankful for those days I do have. It doesn't mean I like it or I want it, but it's the life I was given and there's no point getting mad at what I can't change, so I chose to roll with it. Gives me good memories to dwell on later in life.

I think Matthew Murdock would have something to say about being blind and still having people around. He's a pretty famous superhero in the Marvel world after all. If he can be blind and be a superhero then you can be blind and do just fine living and being with someone who makes you happy

- Yes, except, see, superheroes are in comics and that's just not real life, nor something I can base my life and expectations on.

Hey god is just in an old book and a whole lot of people base their life on that. Superheros can be just as real if you just believe in the values they teach and not the characters they use to teach them. Being blind is a terrible disability to go through but it doesn't mean people around can't love you and it doesn't mean you have to become a burden. You can learn to live with it and work with it. It's been done in real life. One day someone will ove you no matter if you can see them or not.

Hey god is just in an old book and a whole lot of people base their life on that. Superheros can be just as real if you just believe in the values they teach and not the characters they use to teach them. Being blind is a terrible disability to go through but it doesn't mean people around can't love you and it doesn't mean you have to become a burden. You can learn to live with it and work with it. It's been done in real life. One day someone will ove you no matter if you can see them or not.

- I would like to think that, but life hasn't shown me that, yet. I'd like to think that my wit and intelligence and kind personality, excellent cooking skills and general pleasant person to be with outweighs the bad but.... I have been dealing with this reality for 36 years, and no. My life experiences have not shown me anything to give confidence to a life with any kind of worth after I lose my sight fully.

I see the hell my mom has put my dad through. I see the hell my mom's school friends have dealt with even going so far as to stay single their entire lives for some to avoid being a burden, I have been through one ugly relationship that broke apart for other reasons, but there were some nasty patches because of his unwillingness to take care of some things. I have seen the hell my brother's wife is putting him through as his sight starts to deteriorate like mine, the hell my sister's husband is starting to lay at her, his resentment is starting to build on top of their already admittedly troubled marriage.... I have seen the way I have been treated my entire life...... So, I'm enjoying what I have now, and I will enjoy it as long as I am fortunate to have someone that I do like, as long as it may be, but no. I can't and won't plan anything permanent because I have no confidence that anything will go long term after that. Sure. maybe some people do find a good life with someone, but I have not seen that happen, not once, in my entire life. Why should it start with me ?

It should start with you because you deserve it. Everyone deserves it but if you aren't getting it it's you that has to take it. Learn how to not be a burden. Learn things that you are going to need to be able to blind. And don't stick around with anyone that acts like you're a burden. You deserve better so take it

- Well I can't hold my breath, but, I can enjoy what i have now. However long it lasts, that's more than I've had in years. I'll get cats.

I am!

I think people like myself who aren't happy with where they are socially and emotionally should to work on getting to a happier place first and foremost.

I think it would be the best for me to stay alone. Every relationship I have ever had -barring a very short one in high school - I have just been a substitute or place holder. The last relationship I was in actually lasted a few years and I was hopeful this would be different, but of course he left as soon as other prospects became available. Afterwards I realized that's the best I could ever hope for, being settled for because I'm better than nothing.

Sure, I believe it. I don't think everyone is designed to have a partner. Some people prefer being single forever and that is what makes them happy. I think society really puts on the idea that everyone has a 'soul mate', while your soul mate maybe platonic or just something else? Like a hobby, the sea, an animal. Hopefully I make sense?

But, never feel like you're not good enough or you constantly mess up things and THAT'S why you are better off alone. You are worth everything and please never feel short of it. You are not defective.

Don't get me wrong... I love my boyfriend to death and more. However, I always feel like he deserves someone way better than me. Someone who isn't terrified of well... more adult-related things (let's go with that). I also feel like he deserves someone who will provide him the love and attention he needs. I often get caught up in my own routine. Him and I hardly ever show much affection for one another, and what's worse is that it's also an online relationship.

THe problem is that in a way... I feel like I need him to love me. He does. That's all I really want, but he talks about other things that I know I'll never be able to do. I won't go into much detail, but I'm sure you get the idea. It's not that I don't love him or anything either. It's just... having autism makes me more withdrawn and 'in my own world' most of the time. I often feel bad that I'm not rushing to spend a good amount of time with him.

And it's not like I can just drop my routine and spend that time with him. Autism is complicated, and if I don't follow my own routines properly... it can lead to anxiety and severe overload. My boyfriend also has this huge emotional attachment to me as well. I made this stupid promise that I would never leave him as well. He's very understanding of my special needs, but I can't help think that maybe he just deserves someone better still.

If some one claimes too much time for me it's indeed better to be alone.