Feeling quite strange right now and need to vent a little. You don't mind, right CC?

I want to start off by saying that I am 100% for the rights of ALL orientations. I also want to say that in regards to my ex, I have always wished him the very best in finding someone who is honest and kind, because that person would be a very important person in my daughter's life and she is all that matters to me. So, now that that's said, on to the story...

My ex has our daughter on the weekends. This Sunday she came home a bit late from his house because they had a guest and dinner was late, which was okay with me. My daughter (let's refer to her as DD) said that Aron had made really good chicken. I assumed Aron was female, until she said "he's a good cook". DD is 4. I asked her if Aron was a boy or girl, and she said boy. I thought that was sort of strange but no biggie.

I went around work joking with some of my friends that my ex might be gay.

Now, tonight on the ride home DD and I were talking about something (don't remember) and she mentioned Aron would be staying at her house for a while. I thought... uh oh. Her father must have gotten a room mate to help pay the bills. Immediately I know I've got to have a talk about who he brings around DD, that he needs to be absolutely sure this person is worth trusting, etc.

But then I had a thought... wait a minute... maybe Aron IS more than a room mate? Hmm...

So, I went on my ex's facebook (not something I've done in well over a year, probably 2 now, because I don't want to know his business and am simply not interested) and he's got a few slightly hinty things on there that would suggest Aron is in fact more than a room mate.

Now this is all half an hour before DD is picked up by her father.

So...

He just picked her up, and I asked if he had a room mate now and he said no that this was just someone he had over recently. I said okay and went on with my whole talk about being careful, etc. Then, I just had to ask... if he was dating a dude.

And... he is! He seemed relieved to have told me, and actually said that this was the second guy he's dated, and it was going really well.

I assured him that I wouldn't judge him, and told him as I have in the past that DD is my only concern and that as long as she is too, then we are on the same page. I told him I was happy for him and wished him luck, but to remember my talk about being careful and vigilant and to always remember to keep DD .

Then we did some talking about child support stuff yadda yadda.

So... my ex is gay! o___O Or bisexual. Not sure! It's truly a strange feeling. I was joking about it but deep down thought there might be truth to it. I didn't really suspect anything while we were together (we were engaged at one point), but I do remember him once telling me he had a saucy dream about one of our mutual male coworkers. Heh.

It's strange to say, and I don't think anyone who hasn't been in a situation where you have a child with an ex and the ex is dating, but I feel much less threatened with the fact that Aron is male. Deep down I am human, and there is just no way of getting around the fact that while I would NEVER, EVER, FUCKING EVER get back with my ex, I would hope the person he does get with is at least ugly. LOL. But somehow, knowing that this person is male sets me a bit at ease. I guess it's just a female thing? It's so hard to explain.

Either way, I am still feeling QUITE strange right now. I never expected this LOL. I kinda feel like jello.

SO WHO ELSE HAS A GAY EX?!?

I'm so sorry, I just realized this should be in "Relationships". ;(

I am pretty sure my fiance is straight with his fantasies with ONLY female celebrities and his porn (yes, we've watched it together once or twiceXD).

I myself am bisexual and I told him that early on while dating him :)

So I can't comment on your reactions.

Just glad you're not seeming to throw that big of a deal about itXD

Nope, no big deal really, doesn't change anything. xD I'm just... in shock I guess!

I guess me-5-years-ago is just having a hard time wrapping her brain around this. I'm actually having trouble falling asleep because I just feel really weird. o__O I've got an anxiety disorder, which I take medication for, that I think is flaring up I guess from the adrenaline from the conversation or the shock of it or something. It is making me feel ill. D; Hopefully it's better in the morning.

- as the gay ex, the teenage brigade's dad flipped his absolute shit when he found out I was living with a woman and is completely homophobic to boot, accusing us of being inappropriate w/ her and all sorts of nonsense, like jesus fuck do you honestly think I'm a pedo too as well as at the time lesbian (Now, sexuality is fluid, I don't care what you have in your underpanties, just rock my world mmkay ?) But when he dated I sympathized w/ the girl(s) in theory, I never actually spoke to them, because I knew he'd never last and they'd dump his ass haha loser. More like girl, good fucking LUCK you're gonna need it. I seriously didn't care what he boned, and due to recent events of the past year he's chosen to drop out of our lives completely, so now, I know fuckall he's doing nor do I care.... and I've been painfully single for 6+ years.

I have a bisexual ex boyfriend who leans more towards men. We dated off and on in high school and he never seemed to like men. He was a rough tough kinda guy who hung out with straight guys. So we break up because I moved and I find out on his facebook that hes working at a strip club! I thought oh, maybe hes a bartender or whatever (because i thought it was a girl strip club ya know?) But no, its a male strip club located in a gay community near where we lived. Then came the pictures of him in near nothing up on stage. Then came the cute blonde guy he was dating and living with. And let me tell you, I was SUPER surprised. I would have never guessed that about him. I support him 100% nonetheless. Sometimes things like that just happen haha !

My step Dad's ex wife is now with a woman. I say now, I think she left him for the same woman about 20 years ago.

I only have one ex and wouldn't recognise him if ever saw him again.

My Mum was the school dinner lady at our local boy's school and one of the boys would always ask me out via her. He also asked me out to my face once. I didn't go out with him (was about 11-12 at the time and completely not interested in boys), but he is gay now. Very obviously gay too - shiny shirts, camp mannerisms, etc. Had the opportunity to re-introduce my Mum to him recently and they had a nice chat. He would have made a great boyfriend, but kind of glad he wasn't my first boyfriend!

Thank you guys for the anecdotes! I'm feeling much better today (stupid anxiety disorder). Still on my mind a lot because it's just so shocking haha but all is good. I'm more focused on the child support issues right now. He may be gay now, but one thing will never change: he is a dumbass.

My ex boyfriend isn't gay BUT when we were together, he got another girl pregnant. I broke up with him, they got married, and moved to Texas because he is in the Air Force. I found out earlier this week from a reliable source that she left him. Don't get me wrong, I feel sorry for the kid but my ex totally had it coming. I've been doing this in my head ever since:

LOL I am RIGHT there with you. What comes around really does go around.

I remember shortly after my ex and I split, I heard he was "hanging out" with this girl who he would hang out with when me and him would fight. A month or two later I saw her outside a store and she got soooooo faaaaaAAAATTTT. But even better than that she looked so SLOOOOPPPYYYYY.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I am definitely fat, but dayum she gained so much weight. And more importantly she looked fucking awful. It was definitely an LOL moment.

It felt like for a long time, I was being punished. But things are finally going really well for me. When I heart she left him, it was just the icing on the cake.

That is really funny though. I'm no twig myself but I would have busted out laughing and would have kept laughing until you found out he was gay

I'm glad things are going well for you now. :) Sometimes rough patches can seem to last forever. But there's always sun out there to be found.

And LOL thanks a lot hahahaha. At least I got a cute kid out of it. n__n She is so smart and sassy.

It felt like it was going on forever. But I'm finally happy. I'm not in a relationship but I'm learning to appreciate myself more. Just the other night, I was talking to my best friend and I said, "You know something, I'm pretty awesome" and she said, "that's the first time you ever said that about yourself to me and we've been friends for 10 years".

At least you got the best part of it than.

That is amazing. :) I have also been learning to love myself and be okay with being alone with myself for the past year. Some days are harder than others. But I believe 100% the saying, "You've got to love yourself before you can love someone else."

There are something I miss about being in a relationship but overall, I'm okay with being single. And that's true, you do need to love yourself before someone else.

My Dad died when I was 11 and my Mum started dating when I was about 15. After a few dates she'd generally introduce us to the guy and then dump or keep him based on our reactions! Richard Gere look alike got dumped - he was boring and older than Richard Gere. We loved the guy who had the train set obsession, but Mum realised he was keeping us entertained far more than her. We were at an age she could be open and honest about it though, whereas a 4 year old just wouldn't get that.

I have a single friend who has an 8 year old. He is fairly careful with dating. He actually split up with a friend of mine a couple of years ago. Came completely out of the blue to her, because came not long after a discussion about living together. Haven't spoken to him about it, but think he was gauging how serious the relationship was and when she realised she just wanted casual dating with no commitments and no long term plan he had to put his son first and keep her as a friend rather than someone who his son would also fall in love with.

shrugs Kids are resilient though and will just accept the norm as whatever you give them.

Yes, I agree with absolutely everything you said. I've said it to my ex a few times. Whoever he picks, he needs to imagine this person being our daughter's OTHER mom (or dad). Because that is what he should be looking for. The only other guy I dated since then, that was literally my opening line with him. "I have a child. We are both young. If at any point this is too much for you, you need to tell me. I will understand." Unfortunately it did end up being too much for him. Wish he wouldn't have strung me along for so long, but in the end I am glad he showed his true colors.

That's a shame. I see for my friend how hard it is for him to see anyone. He loves being a Dad and was pretty much born to be a Dad so I don't think it's a great hardship. He must have been about 24 when his son was born. Not that young but his girlfriend was only about 19 and they weren't planning to settle down. Anyways, they tried to make a go of it, but she suffered from postnatal depression (think she denied she was pregnant pretty much until the baby was born and then really struggled to deal with reality), and they ultimately split up. He thinks the world of her though. They split up, were too young etc, but she gave him his son and he admires her so much for how she coped with the depression and the baby etc. The way he speaks of her I almost think he thinks more of her than his own Mum. It's nice anyway. I kind of wish they'd get back together, but not sure that's likely.

For him his biggest hindrance to seeing someone is that he compares everyone to his son's Mum and I don't think anyone can compete with her. I don't think he loves her any more in a romantic way though, just that she gave him the best thing in his life and he is completely in awe of her for that. It's cute anyway. :)

MINE TOO!

The first guy I ever...went out with I guess? We never really officially dated, per say, but we hung out together and played video games together, etc. This was early high school years. He was more a good friend than a boyfriend, but I think we both thought of each other as boyfriend/girlfriend (at least I did). He ended up coming out to me when we were playing Pokemon Snap on N64, lol. He asked me what I thought about that and I just hugged him and told him he'd always be my friend no matter what and he asked me not to tell anyone, so I never did. Years later, he ended up coming out to another friend (and then everyone else) and that other friend still thinks she's the first one he told. I've never said otherwise. It didn't really affect me much at all. I was just kind of sad for awhile that he'd never feel that way about me. I wish I could say that we're still friends, but he moved across the country and we lost touch over the years.

This is SO not unusual. Although it hasn't happened to me, I have heard this situation happen to a few of my friends/acquaintances and think you are handling things very well.