I just finished Redemption's history/info. Anyone mind rating my writing 1/10? I like CC, but no completely negative comments, like 'You suck.' That doesn't help. c:

Thank you! I'm trying to continue to be a better writer. Warning: Vampire/Lican story. I tried to make it original, and believe me, the plot gets deeper. The history thing is just a hint. Don't like it? You don't have to read it. ❤️

Note: I do have a whole plot around this. Oh, and, Redemption isn't her birth name. She chose it. Her real name is Evangeline. owo And she's actually around 90 years old.

Hmm. This one's an interesting character, but I'd like to see some little addings.

What are her weaknesses? Now she doesn't seem to age, she's a great warrior and uses bullet proof bodysuits, so no guns can kill her. If you come close by, you'll be chopped to death by her katanas, and she can control time - somewhat. I think the biggest thing is that she needs weaknesses.

Also, it left me kind of 'wtf' when the wolves attacked and then the bats, you could maybe describe these sections a little more, give them motives, why didn't the wolves attack her too, why did only she fell on that cave thing, if she was holding her sister in her arms etc etc. But of course, I realize that it was the part that /she/ was telling, the actual scene happening as she just polishes her swords.

But overall, she's a lovely character and I respect how much effort you have put in her description, but she just appears slightly too strong to me. (believe me, I was struggling with the same problem with some of my pets). I hope that I could be any help, and apologise for my lack of english skills (:

@ LINXX - Thanks. <3 That really helps a lot. I do have a bit of a problem with weaknesses in my characters (don't we all?) but with the bat/wolf thing, you have to notice she's telling it from her POV, so it might be a bit biased. I'll get down the true story in the info section right now. c:

I do need some suggestions for weaknesses, however. There seems to be a shortage of vampire/lycan stories where the vampires ever die from anything but sunlight (or UV bullets, in Underworld), a superpower werewolf, or their own kind chopping their head off. owo; He he.

More on the wolves/bats- most likely, because it was dark, wolves caught their scent and went after the little sister quicker, just because she was easier prey. You'd rather try and kill a squirrel than an elephant, right? And then Redemption fell into the cave. I guess I didn't make that part clear- she literally FELL into the cave. She didn't see the opening before she just walked into it; unfortunately, her little sister didn't fall in with her. Still a little rough-draft, but that's what my crappy explanation is for now. lD