Granted, but then your nose starts bleeding instead. (Aren't ear bleeds bad news?! Are you getting it checked out?!)

I wish I was going on vacation this bank holiday weekend.

- (Don't worry, I know why. XD Its my piercing thats bleeding. I should've clarified. I stretched it too fast.)

You are! D8< YOU GOING TO JAIL FOR ROBBING SAID BANK.

I wish I had more olives on this pizza.

granted, but then you start bleeding out of your eyes

i wish my room would clean itself

granted, but it cleans everything and places it in a place you can't find so you can never find what you are looking for

I wish may would never come

- Glad you're okay!! :P

Granted, but that means you're stuck in Groundhog Day forever.

I wish my cat could eat wet food without it making him sick!

granted, but now your cat only eats mushy food because dry food will make him throw up everywhere

I wish the temperature would stop changing so rapidly... someone kill global warming please :C

- Granted, but now theres no ice age, no nothing. WE'RE STUCK IN MONOTONY, THANKS TO YOU, DAMMIT.

I wish my nose would stop oozing snot.

- You are, but its full of MY SNOT AND BLOOD.

I wish I had a new fish.

Wish granted, but it drowned itself.

c8 Ummm...

I wish you gave me a flower because I am your greatest friend and I think you are terribly awesome.

granted, but they're fake flowers

i wish i was really good at crossword puzzles

Granted, but you don't know how to spell the words, you just know what they are.

I wish my mom would let me get a dog or a bird.

Wish granted, but the dog bit your hand off and then the bird pecked your eyes out.

granted, but that's because it falls off

i wish i had a new computer

Wish granted, but the top screen broke off. :c

I wish I had lots of friends.

granted, but for every friend you have you also have 2 enemies

i wish for a bottle of juice

Wish granted, but the juice spilled all over your new outfit.

[Edit] Forgot it again..

I wish I had a room bigger than a closet.

granted, but your brother drank it first. i wish that it wasn't so cold

granted, but now it's nearing 120° F D: I wish my phone had a longer battery life... :(

Granted, but then it overheats and doesn't work anymore.

I wish I could have a massage.

Nooo my droid T^T

Granted, but it's from a really ugly guy who smells like tacos and cigarette smoke... :(

I wish my game time hadn't run out on Wow yet...