Granted, but they fall down your shirt. Need I say more?

I wish this cough of mine would go away.

Granted, but it was achieved through stopping your respiration system entirely.... :x

I wish that I could speak to fish.

Granted, but someone from a government comes and takes you away for an experiment.

I wish I had someone to talk to right now.

Granted, but this person is four cans short of a six pack..

I wish Rowling would put her books online.

Granted, but you have to pay as much for the eBooks as you do for a hard-copy book.

I wish I had an Eevee. ^_^

Granted but then it turns on you and rips your face off.

I wish to get A's in all my classes.

Granted, but that doesn't matter because now A stands for Awfully Done.

I wish that somebody would post on my roleplay thread.

Granted, but they're only trolls and spammers.

I wish I had a jacuzzi.

Granted, but your jacuzzi is infested with poisonous scorpions that devour your friend's dog; Then you.

I wish my little sister would take her stupid radioactive squirrel. =P

Granted, but then the squirrel grows a brain and goes after you for insulting it.

I wish I knew the meaning of life.

Granted, but it doesn't make any sense to you.

I wish I'd easily be able to find a job I like.

Granted, but your boss is secretly a serial killer, and pins a number of murders on you, for which you are found guilty of and sentenced to death.

I wish that I would never get sick, be hurt, or be killed until I chose to die.

Granted, but everyone you love dies for your wish and you can never see them again; even dead.

I wish my cat would stop eating leftovers on my bed.

Granted, but he then pukes the leftovers all over your bed.

I wish I could go to Australia tomorrow.

Granted, but you encounter box jellyfish, scorpions, spiders, snakes, a saltwater crocodile, and a drop-bear all in the first hour of your (very jet-lagged) arrival.

I wish I were in Hawaii.

Granted, but then they sacrifice you to the Volcano goddess Pele.

I wish I were in the arms of my loving Wolverine, aka Logan, aka James Howlett.

Granted, but you get torn to shreds as a result.

I wish people would learn to accept each other rather than discriminating.

Granted, but then the animals start discriminating.

I wish that I could graduate.

Granted, but then you have no idea what comes next, and the job market sucks...

I wish I were in a jacuzzi with my friends. ^_^

Granted, but there's no water and it's cold outside and you're all naked and freezing.

I wish I had a pony.