Granted, but they are in the nude. o0o

I wish my sleeping schedule wasn't so erratic.

granted, it'd be perfectly normal all the time.

i wish i had a hamburger.

Granted, but the meat is tainted with E. coli, and you get sick.

I wish I were the most beautiful woman on Earth!

Granted, but all of the other women become so jealous that they hunt you down and kill you viciously.

I wish I could lose a couple of pounds...

Granted, but you lose so many you die of starvation. I wish school started at 10 am.

Granted, but it doesn't end until 11 at night.

I wish I had a more worthwhile life.

Granted, but you have to muck out the stables...and all your horses have terrible diarrhea.

I wish I were on a luxury island resort with a bunch of sexy guys in Speedos!

Granted, but they all get eaten by sharks.

I wish they'd make another kickass animated Batman series like the ones in the '90's....but it wouldn't suck, nor get canceled.

Granted, but you never get to see it.

I wish I had some watermelon.

Granted, but it had been rotting in the sun for the past week.

I wish I could record my dreams on DVD so I could rewatch them later.

Granted, but your DVD player will only play back the worst moments of your life.

I wish I had a cute boyfriend...

: Granted, but he has nasty bad habits that almost always leave you nauseated.

I wish I could draw things that would leave people breathless.

Granted, but that includes you, and you (and your friends) all die of suffocation.

I wish I were rich.

Granted, but then the IRS finds out about some back taxes and takes all your money :(

I wish I was a dude XD

:

Granted. But you never quite get the hang of taking a whizz standing next to another dude in the bathroom.

I wish I could be with the one I dream about.

:

Granted, but that "hi" is followed by a "yah" and a kick to the gut. D=

I wish Hughe's Net was a better internet.

Granted, but now it costs $4,999 a month.

I wish that I could freeze time.

Granted, but now spaghetti is the only thing you can eat.

I wish for world peace.

Granted, but then the world becomes so overpopulated that humanity uses up all the oxygen in one large collective breath and everyone drops dead.

I wish it were summer.