Granted. Your book will be as bad as Twilight, but not as successful.

I wish the music outside my house would stop 8(

Granted, but then music starts inside your house and you can't turn it off. ;)

I wish there to be no school monday. (SNOW DAY! 8D lol)

There's no school alright, but that's because the school burned down. You left lots of things you love there. Oops.

I wish I had no essays to write instead of three

wish granted, but then you get 10 math assignments per day. =( i wish i could lose about 20 pounds.

You loose 20 pounds. Or the equivalent in your country's currency.

I wish my dog wasn't upset about the Christmas decorations.

GRANTED you dont..too bad they all thought to come to your place though 'n catch you sleepin' in the buff:)

i wish i wouldnt have stopped swimming everyday!

Granted, but you turn into a fish.

I wish I were absolutely gorgeous!

granted, but nobody can stand your personality change. i wish i had some hot chocolate. =)

granted, but it's too hot and burns your tongue. i wish i had finished my homework. >:|

Granted, but you did it wrong and your teacher fails you.

I wish I had a pet platypus.

Granted, but you have no idea how to take care of it, and it dies.

I wish I had a great job that I like and that pays well, with good fringe benefits.

Awesome! you get your dream job! But it's on Siberia. During winter isolation. Good luck. At least they include the train tickets back once the winter is over. And blankets!

I wissssssh! I had my comic running already!

Well you do but everyone hates it

I wish I'd already written this goddamn essay

Granted, but you wrote it at stupid-o'-clock in the morning under the influence of beyond-the-impossible insomnia and an energy drink, so it reads like crap.

I wish a problem I'm having would just work itself out.

The problem you're having works itself out, so you throw a party but then get into an argument over the colours of the balloons and you're back to square one.

I wish my room would clean itself.

Granted, but it soon gets messy again.

I wish a certain someone would chat with me and have a great conversation with me.

Wish Granted. Problem is you both fight after the conversation.

I wish I was a super hero.

Wish Granted, but you were defeated by mojojojo

I wish I had a puppy

Wish granted! But the puppy turns out to be a wolf pup and it is taken away from you and released into the wild, and you are fined a tremendous amount.

I wish I was an awesome artist.

Granted, but you suck at everything else.

I wish my stats class was cancelled today.