By whipping out an AK 47 in the middle of Times Square and completely shooting up a tour bus full of nuns, orphans, fluffy bunnies, kittens, chocolate souffles, faberge eggs, and one-of-a-kind sequinned couture creations.

Oh no, could it, would it, be really green?

Only about as green as you are.

What would a reverse minotaur look like?

Hoofs for a head and two human heads for feet.

How many scratches to satisfy an itch?

As many as it takes; usually five.

How can you see with you hair in front of your eyes like that?

E.S.P.: extra sight peculiarity.

What could have possibly made that horrible noise?

Your sweet little grandmother.

What happened to the mouse that ran up the clock after it got assaulted by that hour hand?

It went to get two of its friends to beat the hour hand up.

Who fed the bushel of barley and corn to the cock at the crack of dawn who woke the priest all shaven and shorn who married the man all tattered and torn to the maiden all forlorn who milked the cow with the crumpled horn who tossed the dog who worried the cat who caught the rat who ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built?

Me! mua ha haaaaaa

How many ml in a tsp?

4,368,289,344. Exactly, not one more nor one less.

How many years was Odysseus lost at sea?

A lot.

What are you doing for Easter this year?

I will admit that I am the one and only Easter Bunny! I will be hopping down the Bunny Trail and bringing baskets full of Easter joy to all the good littles girls and boys!

Who helps me with my very long journey?

Eggs... with legs!

What's your favorite kind of vegetable?

One who's signed up as an organ donor.

If you could look through anyone's window you wanted, who would it be and what would you see?

Donald Trump, armed with a snipper riffle.

Why does a bird have another bird for a pet?

When it's a human dressed as a bird.

What's for dinner?

Chicken parmesan with a side of falcon eggs and rocks.

War! Huh! What is it good for?

What isn't it good for? Any problem you have if it can't be solved by war, you need to make a bigger explosion.

What's so wrong about peace, love, and understanding?

Dead as dead can be, blacker than coal, quantum cold, and harder than a diamond.

Maybe you're better off this way?

Most certainly. I love being on an island surrounded by lava! This is definitely better than the peninsula that had water around it. A+, 5-stars, would recommend this set of problem solving.

How fast does light move?

It doesn't move at all it stays put. It only seems to move to you because you are full of dark matter. Dirty DIRTY dark matter.