Granted, but the person you're talking to is deaf, blind, and mute.

I wish had a cute little snake.

granted, but it would be a worm. no one likes worms.

i wish i had a big tasty bacon.

[edit]

it's a hamburger okay

Granted, but a random hobo steals it before you can eat it.

I wish I could draw like Starch xD

damn hobo. granted but she'd lose her drawing abilities and hate you for it.

i wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. i wish i could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...

Granted. But you don't even go here!

I wish my dog would stop shedding hair

/CRAIS. granted, but he'd turn into a naked rat.

i wish time didn't fly when i don't want it to.

granted, but time would go so slow that taking just one step would take 24 hours to complete

i wish i was a mermaid P:

Granted, but the top half of your body would be the fish part instead of the bottom. XP

I wish I could have anything I want. XD

Granted, but you quickly lose interest in it all, and spend the rest of your days constantly longing for more out of life.

I wish all the household chores could be done with a snap of my fingers.

Granted, but you will be doing yard work and get rusty nails through your fingers and they'll have to be amputated.

I wish I had more money.

Granted but it all has dye packs in it.

I wish I had my entire wishlist on Subeta.

granted, but all of those items become extremely common and devalued

i wish i could sleep longer without being late for anything

granted, you'd have nothing to attend to.

i wish it wasn't cold outside today.

Granted...let me know how it works

I wish that the person below me get's their wish granted.

granted, but the nature of this thread means that there will be a catch

i wish i was a better salesperson

granted - but you are a politician.

I wish that people could think more multilaterally.

granted, but then they're all distracted and can't get anything done

i wish that people wouldn't find silence so awkward

granted, but then you oversleep and miss the exam

i wish i didn't have to take final exams

Wish granted, but there would sudden quizzes almost everyday.

I wish I had more younger brothers.

granted, but there are thousands and they all overwhelm you

i wish my head didn't hurt