❤️

You know you can breakdown on me anytime, my sweet (just not presently through texts 'cause br0ke'd). As someone who knows firsthand how deeply any form of anxiety can affect animal-work in particular, I totally sympathize, and I really do hope you can find someone to help you through it super soon. ;_;'

It's awful how anxiety can just make the simplest, most minor things that heavy straw that breaks the back of everything in existence ever. I swear my stability is best described as a game of JENGA. No joke. Chanting and everything. Time passes, little blocks are pulled out here and there, while I'm soldiering around with a tiny voice in the back of my head fighting, yelling "NOPE, YOU GOT THIS," over and over, JENGA, JENGA, JENGA, and then the tiniest little thing pulls that one little innocent-looking Jenga block out from under this insanely delicate balance I have going on, stacked against all odds, and the tower in my mind just crumbles.

Like a couple weeks ago, I survived this insane day, can't BEGIN to describe it, don't really even WANT to, but the thing that ultimately broke me that day? Once I finally got home, got coffee, got settled on the couch with Vega, grabbed the remote to turn on my Pandora app on my TV, and the batteries in the remote were dead. And I took a moment to gather myself before going to retrieve new batteries. Then, of course, the first place I looked to find said batteries... well, the batteries were not there. And it broke me. It broke me into five million little pieces on the floor. The batteries did.

So, yeah, NEVER should you worry about annoying me, or worry over me thinking you're stupid; that's just silly talk! I could never. Be annoyed or think you're dumb or anything like that. Seriously, that's just anxiety rearing its negative little noggin, and making no sense of yourself.

I eat your ideas for breakfast. Omnomnom. It is the sustenance to my day(s). It is the spark of life, the light in the dark, the thing I reflect on, the one thing I want to focus my time on. It is my equivalent to meditation, truly; the thing I close my eyes to and WOO-SAH, OHM, HAKUNA MATATA...

But I've just had so many thoughts (and complications to getting them down: hello company, super phone death, and why are you already here, Monday?) and I'm so tired and my head won't stop hurting that I haven't had much chance to get everything I want that's in my head out in a readable/coherent manner without also wanting to fall asleep where I'm sitting. It's coming out as this drivel of nonsense but I'm working on it... :'3

Srsly, senpai hasn't said anything back 'cause senpai is otherwise foaming at the mouth with the inability to function. Mostly due to ideas/excitement and love and such. Please keep thinking and sharing your ideas and I srsly need a new Haine sketch in my life because the need to draw Raine is reaching this really tall peak that I'm not sure my mind can successfully come down from without breaking something.

;u; Keep journaling, if you wish; I definitely do not mind and certainly want you to if it helps! I can't promise anything I have to say or anything I do will be particularly relieving at all for you but I will always listen and it is cathartic to write it down and get it out of your head~

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

In a sweet turn of events, my phone is officially dedz. XD I'll be without until a new one ships on Tuesday. Just so you know! phone blackout 2016 is underway! And sorry to get your hopes up for this otherwise tease-tastic response. ❤️

*bounces around in anticipation of all your typity-typing goodness. CAAAAN YOU FEEEEEL THE LOOOVE TONIIIIIGHT...?

Yes, I like what you're thinking; I just have to strike the balance between ethereal and economical in regards to her character. But even a typical style of economical seems wrong for her so I'll have to work a bit on that. And that will all prove difficult until I rectify certain design choices for her aesthetically and I've honestly never given a great deal of thought to her position/backstory so I've been mulling through those thoughts today while running errands and whatnot. (VERY INTRIGUING STUFF TOO) and I've been trying to jot them down for you. x/

Are we talking everyday/practical in regards to Aria present or Aria future/Jerona? Because I'm afraid those may be a bit different! As previously anticipated. LOL. I think about her clothes a lot, but usually just in regards to future-self, and not so much to start... I honestly haven't given much thought to her beginnings and clothing over time. OH GREAT NOW I HAVE HER TO DRESS TOO. I guess I'd be upset if I didn't love it/her so damn much. I mean I really like to work on these things and I would love to hear your thoughts and such.

I mean no one can blame you for wanting to torture him a bit, yes? That's what any responsible person would do if given the chance. To do. S-something. To him. Anything. Yes. :x B-but yes, you should, uh, probably think on the pros a bit too? ;D I mean there has to be some sitting around there somewheres. Otherwise, Rafe is liable to lop that finger right off in a fit of . Honestly, he really could not handle sitting idly by, were there nothing to show positive for it all. He cannot stand by and watch that happen without some very compelling reason(s). (And yes, Haine, I mean more compelling than you being extremely resentful, or running him through with a sword, or even running him through with that sword or... yeah.) 8/

Really, aside from any potential financial/political benefits, it's more between the two people (as it should be), and if those two people are content regardless, I'm not sure there is such a benefit. Mostly it's "the thing to do," but for those of us who don't believe in mainstream linear progression, it seems a bit much to do for the show and dance of it all; I mean, you already know, so you're just... what, showing everyone else? Do you need to...? But some people truly want marriage. And that's fine. Totally.

But you know how that goes: if you don't get married and have kids and all that, or if you don't want to, well, clearly, you're unstable, or insecure, or something is wrong, or something is holding you back, or maybe he/she doesn't really love you, or----

BBY YOU KNOW YOU CAN FIT YOUR PIECES INTO MY PUZZLE ANY DAY. AWWWYAYUH No, but really, I love hearing about your worlds and such because I find mine so basic and boring and uncreative and uneventful and vanilla...? Creator's curse, I guess, for us both. You're all LOOK AT THESE VARIOUS PEOPLES and I'm sitting here all like THERE ARE BIRD-PEOPLE?! LYK WHAAAAAAA--

Tsran+Sajo: Super Yetara Pirate Ship GO. It makes sense Tsran's family will eventually disown him if he doesn't change to suit them, and I don't imagine him doing much of that, especially if he sees another option open to him.

8< Fen apologizes haughtily for not making things easier on you all...!

"sneaky night together" yeah my mind went somewhere else entirely and then on top of that WHAT YOU'RE SAYING THEN, HAINE -- if I heard you correctly -- IS THAT YOU PREFER HIS LIGHTHEARTEDNESS? His brighter side, if you will? THAT YOU ARE, PERHAPS, OPPOSED TO SEEING SUCH A JADED, NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL STATE EXPRESSED ON HIS PART?? QwQ JIIIIIIIII takes the helm of dis ship and flys somewhere over the rainbow

Really he'd just sigh in frustration because he wouldn't have won this night/outing either way; had he stayed the same, he would have probably caught more shit for it, especially if anything went slightly not according to plan.

;u; I -- I don't watch GoT for various reasons -- mostly I'm afraid of the potential for influence -- but like, also, Walking Dead, don't watch that; most things, actually, I don't watch, soooo. -.-; I think I get perturbed with people being so crazy about such because, from the standpoint of a writer, I can understand killing off characters, even/especially LOVED characters, so I'm usually sitting there going "Well they probably needed to die uh I mean more than likely it was appropriate to uuuh--" And then people are like OMFG GTFO HATER. 0~0;; And then they totally don't believe me when I tell them that I mourn character deaths too, they're all like NO YOU DON'T GET IT YOU WOULD HAVE JUST DONE THE SAME THING BAWWW. Dude, people have to get hurt, and get buried deep, and sometimes get dead; that's how it goes. Story sense.

Anyway, it is natural to mull over such but... shipwreck of emotions Rafe has always been the most likely to die. 8/ You know, aside from Faust, with whom I do occasionally debate treatment, for reasons reasons reasons... I'd say they definitely have the lead and have pulled far away from the rest of the pack when it comes to death though. Torments? Hard to say.

Srs txts b srs k. Otherwise, how ever would you know how I feel about you, my love~? =0n0=

I have too many ideas and changes I want to make for Jibril that my brain is getting seriously jammed. Too many directions I could go in for her design and I like all of them WHY CANT I JUST HAVE ALL OF THEM? Uugh. And that's hardly even including the clothes. So many ideas for her clothes. Like, plain ethereal clothes and such, then I'm like what about combat-oriented clothes? And then I wonder if she just wouldn't continue to wear pretty dresses and flowing garments while also fighting because she can do whatever the fuck she wants. Or what about her in pants and such? But pants, man. And then I really can't find a happy medium in my head between exposed skin and covered skin. EVERYTHING IS JUST. @

Hah, Rafe tends to assume he deserves the grief he gets, maybe to a fault. ;) Mmmm, I can't wait to hear all the thoughts and revampedness~ It makes me really into working/thinking on my stuff too, just saying! x) Mmm candyyyy and sweeeetsss. ❤️ Wait, what would happen if someone else cut off the finger? 'Cause. ideas. -u- ...Also, there must be some exorbitant benefits of keeping this bitch blade around, otherwise, everyone would honestly be opting to lop off the finger, yes?

Yes, you, with ideas that I love. So shush. I said it is so and so it is! ❤️ W-wait, did you just shade on me as the reason to have underdeveloped certain areas? "I can't because what if it doesn't fit?!" That is so wrong. It would honestly hurt if it wasn't so simultaneously flattering.

We're talking the kind of laughter that is so severe that noise is barely made because it gets all trapped inside your body and to escape would just destroy you. So instead, you're just cringing over yourself and trying not to fall out of your chair with the super giddy flushed face, making tiny snickers and teehees, and that fun noise you make with your nose and throat when your vocals just cannot even. :x

;_; Everyone would be giving each other shit, picking on themselves for their pitiful hangover/headache states, but then they'd be very sympathetic and caring toward Potent's state, because aww baby's first time drinking. We know that feel, bro; we're here for you.

A-also. :x You gif failed. Again. LOL. Lolololol. x'D

omg Tsran visiting. omg this extended family is amazing. girl the line just erased itself entirely. ^^ANYTHING ABOUT THEIR KIDS EVER AND ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WOULD LOVE AND SUPPORT THEM^^

-.- "Not yet, but~" Preemptive funeral dressing. XD I always see it as a fun response to a situation. Like planning on doing some stealthy in the night thing or some such but Haine makes a gruff comment because -- even if ignoring his mouth -- Rafe is a "spotlight on misadventure." Then Rafe gets it in his head to SHOW UP JUST TO SHOW YOU UP ASSHAT I CAN BLEND IN THE DARK let me show you how to look bitchin in black. you're doing it wrong. LOL. REALLY I JUST NEED AN EXCUSE. More than anyone, I always feel like Rafe's jaded interior is so very accentuated by a black exterior, but it's so very the opposite of his wonderfully white/light color scheme, that does well to express his easygoing lightheartedness.

You know, it's sad, I hear people talking about certain shows and stuff on TV, and "do you watch (this)" or "Do you watch (that)" and it's like ~nope! And then they're all sad because all these things happened, CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DID THIS TO SO-AND-SO, they want to talk about who died... And in my head I'm like, man, I'm glad I don't have that kind of problem, I'm glad I never feel that way about Aria, or Haine, or Fenria, or Raine, or Vayu, orrr......

BUT ALSO I cannot begin to express how much fun I would have working as a tailor for your babes. Srsly. ❤️ An upgrade to some real fancy potato sacks, man. ❤️