You became a liar in all aspects of our relationship, or perhaps you already were one and I was just too blinded by how much I love you to see it. You hid from me and told me what I wanted to hear. But that's not what I wanted. I wanted all of you. Truthfully. Even the bad. Why couldn't you just tell me who you were? I had no problem with that person.

Well, now I spend my days with at least a new man every week. I don't want commitment anymore. I don't trust all these love games people play, and the more affectionate a man is after having me in his bed or for a date, the less likely I am to ever talk to him again.

I spend every day talking to a man who makes it clear he doesn't need me. One who doesn't wanna date me either. One who doesn't give compliments often. One I don't see much but still talk to every single day. Who tells me I'm too affectionate and clingy. Warns me when I'm being obnoxious. Is blunt and demanding. Tells me exactly what he expects and exactly what he wants. So honest it's sometimes insulting. Tells me he likes porn and selfies from pretty girls and that I'm not even his type.

And you know what? It's perfect. Because I know he has no reason to lie to me. And I can handle everything bad about this because I've already seen it all. Because even in how shitty it can be, he still messages me every day. Even in how little he needs me, he certainly chooses me when he wants to see someone. I'm a decision not a necessity and you know what? I like that. And when he is pissed off at me, he still talks to me at the end of the day. We aren't even dating and he gives me more consideration than you did. So I am glad I found you out for a liar and didn't marry you. Because I'm not a princess. I'm a Sex Kitten. And it's time to let that shine.

I love you, with every piece of my heart and soul. You are a light to me in my darkest days, and the cause for the purest happiness I've ever experienced. There are days where I feel so lost without any hope for a cure, and even when the root of that feeling is you, you're still the only one who drags me out of the rubble of my broken self and finds me a home in their heart like a phoenix rising from ash. You give me purpose when I've always wanted nothing. You create stars in my sky when all I see is black. You have given me such memorable nights, staring up under a mass of wine and twinkling lights, or seeing the galaxy we share brilliantly lit in the sky. The adventures we have are irreplaceable. We've ventured through castle courtyards and millennia old churches, we soared across the world together and walked into the sea. We've had days so beautiful I've cried in your arms just because you have to go. And someday, when you read this, I hope knowing I feel this way starts a spark in you, a spark of love, and you tell me I am all this for you. -Your princess. (Sept 21, 2017)