Ahoy thar, me buckos! I wish I was bringin’ tidings of an early Keel Hauliday, but alas! Port Plunder’s been… ehh, plundered! Paint n’ pigment splashed all over th’ walls n’ docks! Dear ol’ Babette’s signage sullied with insults I shan’t repeat! Thar even be a vile scribblin’ of me n’ th’ crew on th’ deck of the dinghy! Little x’s in our eyes n’ everything! Carl’s been rantin’ ‘bout a glowin’ eye’d scallywag skulkin’ ‘round, but that mealy-mouthed grog blossom is indecipherable on a good day, so we’ve no idea what he’s on about.

Me, I’ve half a mind to suspect one of those hornswagglin’ Islanders is tryin’ t’ sabotage  our little shindig, but I’ll naught be able t’ afford the fallout if I’m wrong. Would ye mind a lil’ sojourn n’ reconnaissance so’s we can find th’ scurvy dog and cleave ‘em to the brisket for this offense?

Translation: Hello, friends! I wish I was announcing the start of Keel Hauliday, but unfortunately we’ve had trouble at the port! The buildings and the dock have been covered in paint! Babette’s inn sign has been vandalized with unkind words! There is even a crude caricature of myself and the crew painted on the deck of the lifeboat! We appear to be deceased! Carl has spoken of a suspicious individual with glowing eyes in the area, but that distinguished gentleman can be a little hard to understand sometimes, so we aren’t sure what he may have seen.

I believe an Islander may be responsible, perhaps trying to ruin Keel Hauliday. I would visit and ask myself, but they might take that the wrong way. Would you mind visiting the Islanders and clearing up this little misunderstanding?