Good news, everyone! That day for which I know we have all been eagerly waiting has arrived - Elwood Day is here! And there’s even more good news, because today is also the day that I receive the revamp I have been requesting for years.

Now, honestly, it’s not exactly what I was expecting. I was hoping for something a bit more… I don’t know? Suave? Dashing? It’s not that I don’t appreciate the, er, “free spirited” nature of my color, I am a guy that can appreciate some anarchy, just, you know, I was hoping to have my fashion disaster fixed.

I mean, I guess they did capture my essence, and if I’m going to be delivering pizza from an alternate dimension beyond the bounds of the physical map, my artwork may as well match that spirit of whimsy. Also, I got a sweet darkmatter pizza, and you have to admit that I am tossing it with amazing artisanal skill.

Inspired by my amazing revamp, I’ve added a very special Limited Edition Darkmatter Pizza to my menu, and I personally guarantee that eating it will only cause minor side effects! Thank you to all my fans that have stuck with me for so long and made this revamp possible, please accept this Free Gift Basket as a token of my appreciation.