Huh, well, that wasn't exactly what I was expecting for my husband, you know? I'm sure he's a perfectly good guy, but he sure was pissed that we busted into his bedroom. I don't think we're compatible in species or size, and we'll just leave the details left unsaid.

I guess I fulfilled my promise of archaeology beefcake, technically. Mummies were a no-go, apparently. I guess you guys can be the babes. Smiley was the beefcake, and you've met me already. It seems like all I have to make good on is my promise of treasure.

HA, SCREW YOU GUYS, I WAS THE EVIL OVERLORD ALL ALONG. NOW THE TREASURE IS MINE, AND I WILL BE LEAVING YOU IN THE TEMPLE WHILE I RUN AWAY, DRAWING MY CAPE AROUND MYSELF AND TWIRLING MY MUSTACHE! YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THAT, DID YOU? I AM SO NEFARIOUS!

No, that would be so lame of me. And who the heck wears a cape to go exploring, anyway?

I did manage to get a peek into that room Smiley Beefcake was blocking. I mean, I didn't get a great look, but I did see something big and sparkly. You think this guy is gonna waste his time down in this dark pit guarding something worthless? Yeah, I think not.

However, before we go uh... "preserve" historical items by placing them safely in our pockets, let me just take a minute to figure out who gets dibs. Don't make that face at me. Do you want somebody who just wandered in yesterday to waltz off with the Ark of the Covenant while you get stuck with some chintzy pottery? Probably not, so give me a second here. I'm all about fairness, y'know?

By the way, those of you who did just wander in? I don't have all the time in the world, so if you still want to poke around the temple, I'd suggest you do that pretty soon.