I don't know where else to really talk about this... I feel like I get so harshly judged by my mom friends and I just don't know what else to do.

My son is 16 months and thankfully no longer suffers from colic or silent reflux. However, for the first 7 months of his life he was absolutely miserable. In a 24 hour period, he was awake and crying for around 18 hours. There was literally nothing that helped him until he was able to take meds, but even that only helped so much. No one I know has dealt with something like this... and it's so hard to explain to someone just how much like torture it was. Between the lack of sleep, the constant screaming and crying, there's this helpless and worthless feeling that nothing I did could help my little baby. So not only am I a first time mom with a very sick child, but my husband got royally effed from his job at the time and he was given no paternity leave. The entire thing left me with PTSD.

I have seen a doctor and got on meds to help. And 90% of the time everything is great and I'm very happy now. But we have bad days... Crying doesn't trigger me, but when my son SCREAMS and cries hysterically for an hour because he is tired and refusing to nap, I struggle to not get furious. Especially today, when he got so inconsolable and hysterical that he actually managed to hurt himself in his crib. I try everything in these moments to help him regulate and calm down but he is a fighter... and after an hour of this battle I just get so fed up.

I vent to my mom friends about it and they just make subtle comments about how if I can't handle my child then I shouldn't have another. All I've wanted was multiple children... I have NEVER hurt my son. I just get mad and upset after an hour long battle and end up crying myself. It triggers me so bad... I don't think that makes me a bad mom or that having another child is a bad thing.

I don't know.. I guess I'm just hoping to find other moms who have been through this. Someone I can talk to about this and not feel like something is wrong with me.

Step one children ARE frustrating, that's a normal feeling so you aren't abnormal feeling this.

Step two I'm not a mom but have plenty of family/friends who are, so I'm around kids constantly and have seen many things. The biggest thing I've seen and learned is many of them give the kid(s) space if the route of comforts don't help. Sometimes no amount of snacks, hugs, movies or toys helps a kid in a fit. One kid I'm around has autism and has BRUTAL outbursts. Anything can trigger them and they can last up to an hour and a half. The last one was triggered by telling her to NOT chew on shoes for sale at the store, the calmdown ended up being a hug from dad. It's hard to say what is the source reason of your kids discomfort that results in these extended cries. Has your doctor looked into anything regarding his tummy or acid production?

I'm not a parent, but I know a lot of people who are. My mom's advice to my first-time parent friends is: "You'll always love your kids, but sometimes you won't like them. As people, as beings, their actions. Sometimes you just won't like them, and that's okay as long you take a deep breath and remember they aren't doing it on purpose and you do love them". I think that applies here.

Take a deep breath, and remember it's okay not to always think your child is the best thing since electricity and sliced bread. Just try your best, and remember to take time for yourself too. "You can't pour from an empty cup"