I love my roommate and we get along most of the time, but we have our problems other times. I think it's normal for any roommates to have problems, and we try to work on them, but sometimes I just feel trapped.

I wake up early to drive him to work 5 minutes away, and I'm not a morning person. I don't mind doing that, but he IS a morning person. He's always chipper and talkative, which drives me crazy. I've told him to not mind my morning self because I'm a total ragebeast in the mornings. When he tries to talk to me I mainly just ignore him or grunt. I have health issues that make me this way, but I'm trying to sleep better at night and take better care of myself to help with my issues. It's a constant battle but I'll never give up.

So I've asked him not to talk to me in the mornings and not to be loud but it doesn't seem to get through to him. His drive to be chipper and talkative overrides my request for peace. He also has mental illness that makes him that way, but I just ask him to please try. I have mental illness too but it's not an excuse, just something we have to try to be understanding of.

But this morning I felt he was really disrespectful and that just hurts, even though it was something small. Yesterday morning he went to reset my car clock for daylight savings ends, but the "beep. beep. beep. beep." made me crazy so I made him stop. This morning he went to do it again and I said "[Roommate name] I can't" and pushed his hand away. Then he started to argue, saying "I just have one more button to push!" I was too pissed off to reply. A minute later we got to his work and before he got out of the car, he pressed the last few buttons to finish setting the time. I snapped and said "[ROOMMATE NAME]! GET OUT!" He said "Sorry, I love you" and I said "I love you."

But I'm soooo pissed. Yes it's just a small series of beeps and I'm an adult woman. But I'm waking up early to drive him to work 5 days a week and he's going to disregard my boundaries in my own car? It's the little things adding up. I'm trying to operate a motor vehicle through my grogginess. I can't handle his little antics. He always says he understands that but then his actions tell me that he doesn't. And he laughs at my grumpiness, which is just a cherry on top.

Do I have to just live with this? Is there another way to approach him about this? Should I just make him walk 20 minutes instead of driving him?

Edit to add: I also used to be annoying like him and enjoyed bugging people when I was little, but being called annoying and being rejected by peers made me grow out of it. That was a painful process for me and I don't really want to call him annoying. I think spending less time together would be good for us, but it's also hard because he's the only person I know here and I'm too busy with work and school to meet people. But I think I have to try.

i hate when a roommate gets on my nerves because there feels like no escape, since, well...we live in such close quarters. (especially when you're sort of roped into a consistent favor like driving them to work, which is out of your comfort zone.) when my fuse gets short i like to take a step back and make alone time for myself, completely separate from my roommates. if he's safe to do so, maybe you can express that you really need a break, and he can walk to work a couple days this week. it's a short term fix, just to buy you some time and space to feel a little less frustrated and get some rest. when you're feeling calm and smoothed over, you two could sit together in the afternoon and listen to what's on the other's mind.

i hope you're hanging in there. :} let me know how you're fairing.

Thank you for your thoughtful response.

Part of me feels silly for getting pent up over something so minor, but I have to remind myself that my needs matter. This is my life for at least another 6 months under this lease.

I think you're right, I need to make an effort to put space between us for a while and try to talk it out when I know I can have a calm and direct discussion. But I think I want to try to drive him still and just tell him if he can't be respectful then I can't drive him. So basically I'll give him another chance or two.