Okay so I fully realize that I'm painting a target on my back by posting this. Please do not try to send me Buddy GAs / Stickers as some kind of 'gotcha' unless you'd like to be blocked.

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Main Suggestions +Add the option to make accepting Buddy GAs from Friends Only. (Yes, I do realize you can turn Buddy GAs off entirely, which I use 99% of the time and accidentally had it on for my birthday this year.) +Add the option for accepting stickers from Friends Only.

Bonus suggestions +Make WL visibility 'Public', 'Hidden', or 'Friends view only'. +The ability to turn off accepting stickers from anyone at all. (I feel sure we don't have this already but correct me if I'm wrong because I will use this option immediately until we get a friends only option)

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I am currently recovering from abuse / childhood trauma. While I have made a lot of progress on it, I am still not at a point where I am comfortable with gifts from people who are unfamiliar. I have had 'Please do not send me gifts' on my profile for over 5 years now. And without fail, every single birthday I have, and every single Luminaire, someone decides to 'find a loophole' to send me stuff anyways (and 9/10 times with a message about how "I know you said you don't WANT gifts but I found a way to give you one anyways!!!"). This means Stickers and Buddy GAs now. I want my friends to still be able to interact with me this way, but I do not want people who are not my friend to be able to.

In no way am I expecting this to be a priority request, but I still think these are good suggestions because I know I am not the ONLY person who experiences discomfort this way (or in a similar way).

Thanks.

Full support! No means no on everything. Going around people's requests is really rude IMO. If you are finding loopholes around stuff it's really frustrating.

Also I would love to see a friend's only wishlist setting. I know a lot of people don't want random messages or gifts and being able to set the wishlist so those close can still see without opening it up to all sorts of random folks would be nice.

Yes please! I would absolutely turn off being able to receive stickers and with other gifting options like Lumi trees and gift boxes limited, I don't see any reason everything shouldn't be able to be limited also.

Full support!

Doesn't matter why someone doesn't want gifts, its enough that they don't want them. No one should have to justify that stance.

It would make sense to be consistent across the board (pets, GAs, gifts, trees, stickers, WL), to have none, friends only, or totally open. Right now we have mixes of all or nothing, all, and friends only and its confusing trying to remember which is which and what needs to be set when certain seasons roll around.

I think this is a great idea. I give away buddy GAs just by finding random people on the forums who have blue icons. I never think to go to their profiles to see if they have a note up that they don’t want to accept something. I’d hate to think I’d traumatized someone. Seeing this does make me think twice now about the way I give them away.

i agree, it'd be good to have consent. i dont mind random stuff but I dont like traumatizing others, and if they dont want it they shouldnt be forced

Nearly every single gift I've gotten from "friends," I've had to pay back. It'd be nice to have this option, yes, but I'm still not using it BUT that doesn't mean it shouldn't be an option.

Another full support.

Whenever I'm planning to gift someone, I always thoroughly stalk my target to make sure they will be okay with it - even if they don't explicitly say anything in their profile - and always use means I know are "blockable" so finding out people purposefully take advantage of loopholes is a bit of a shock.

Although I normally don't need to worry about strangers interacting with me, Luminaire has always been a double edge for me -- I like gifting random people but the week after Christmas always leaves me tense because even blocking anything I can and removing the comments section in my profile there's always one or two that will find a way to thank me, which is the last thing I want (correct me if I'm wrong but afaik there's no way to block comments, only mails, which is something I would travel to the US and lick every staff's shoes to become a thing if it's not already).

I don't expect this to be a priority either but I do think it should, because doing something you're fully conscious the other person does not want is just straight up harassment honestly..

Since there is a "Accept items from non-friends" on/off option, there should be one for the gift center as well.

I 100% agree, I would feel just awful if I've accidentally sent something to someone and caused them to panic.

I was recently thinking about the same thing, actually. I was worrying about how the stickers system could be abused to harass others and wondering what suggestions to prevent that I could make. I think giving users the option where stickers are friends-only is a great idea for that.

I'm curious, having read your post, on how the sticker system could be abused considering that it's a stuck and done?

i would imagine it could be from sticking mean stickers on someone (like the ew or u smell funny ones for example), though it wouldn't even need to be a mean one necessarily. if someone knows you don't like them or have them blocked they might do it as a way of getting your attention that you can't prevent. not only would you have to get rid of the notification, you would also have to pay the hustler to remove the sticker(s) if you don't want to see it in your collection.

on the topic, i agree completely. being gifted things should be a universal yes/no/friends only like suggested. especially around lumi it gets so confusing... it's really terrible to have trauma surrounding gifts and have it reopened (potentially unwittingly, sometimes sadly not) by others because you can't fully protect yourself. it just makes everyone involved feel bad when it could have been prevented with a more cohesive blocking/gifting system...

Let me see if I can get my sleep deprived brain around this: so, essentially, stickers are also not blocked when you block someone? That's terrifying. I wonder who gets into trouble for that one.

Not the person you pinged, but off hand I can think of several ways the sticker system can be abused.

1. There are alphabet stickers - one could send any kind of message, even one that "seems" nice on the face of it, but that annoys the recipient.
2. Send the same sticker over and over and over again.
3. Many people just don't want duplicate stickers, or don't want their collection to include certain stickers.
4. just send a sticker daily so the recipient has to see an event every single day from you.
5. The sticker collection is yours, on your account, and yet you have little control over it, that alone could be enough to bother some people.

Probably a dozen other ways to abuse it that may not bother most people, but could annoy some. Doesn't even matter if the sender has bad intentions or not, someone could think they are doing a nice thing and still cause hurt.

For me, personally, I don't care about my sticker collection at all. But this choice, not to care, was taken deliberately because from the moment it was introduced it was obvious that I would have little control over it and did not want it to become a source of anxiety. So I've gotten what stickers I need for achievements and otherwise ignore it. But not everyone is capable of making that choice. Not everyone wants to.

i could be (hopefully am) wrong, but that was my understanding based on some of the posts in this topic. also considering how random the blocking system is, it wouldn't surprise me. but i'm not about to try to stick a sticker to the person who blocked me to test it for sure. >_< sorry if i'm wrong and might have gave misinfo.

however, even if it is prevented by blocking, it's pretty ridiculous to have to resort to those measures if you don't want stickers. you'd have to like... block every person who ever stuck you with one (or might!) just to avoid it. _ so it's the exact problem the topic is trying to bring attention to.

you summed up my worries 100%, especially with the letters. I was also worried that the pronoun stickers could be used to purposefully misgender someone, should a troll stoop that low.

oh! Completely missed the issue with the pronoun stickers.

Yeah the stuff I wrote is simply the tip of the iceberg too, the most obvious issues.

This is such a good idea.
It needs to be paired with the wishlist item search as well somehow. Have people's names only show up on friends only searches, or not at all. depending on their desires. When I get duplicates of stickers I tend to plug it into the wishlist search and stick it on any random Subeatan who has it wishlisted, during Maj. Drills quests. The two people who requested I please not sticker them, have their names on a sticky note on my monitor so I remember to avoid doing that. It would be nice to have a system in place, so I don't have to worry about losing my notes.

Seconding this specifically. Why give a gift to someone who wouldn't want it? I fully support this.