I need advice and subeta seems like the best platform - everyone's friendly and awesome.

The conundrum at the moment is this:

(background) My sib from another crib's partner is Trans. Through a comment about why I'm still following JK Rowling on twitter and me checking on what JK was posting, I agreed with her and unfollowed JK on twitter.

Problem at hand: She (the partner) just messaged me on Facebook as to why I'm still playing Harry Potter games. My only response was "I haven't given the game nor JK any money."

I love the hp world and games and i get where my friend is coming from - I don't agree with anyone who still likes some of the creeps of old.

There's no answer that won't cause alienation - I just reconnected with my sib after their first partner forced them to drop me.

I'm feeling attacked for enjoying a game set in a world separate from the author and her skewed views. I'm worried as to the lengths my friend will go to irradicate everything JK from her friends' lives. Do i have to get rid of my Harry Potter series? Burn the Ravenclaw cloak I bought at a con not Wizarding world.

Speaking as a trans person myself I figure I might have some insight in the issue and what your sibling's partner might be feeling/going through. I'll try not to assume too much since everyone's in a different situation, but I've been in a similar position.

To be totally transparent, I hate JK Rowling and don't care much for Harry Potter though I used to enjoy it, but I've got lots of friends (including trans friends) who still enjoy the series. A lot of us grew up with it and still feel nostalgic for the world and its characters, and that's OK! HP was a really influential and popular series, and a lot of people (myself included) have fond memories of bonding over the books, movies, etc.

I don't believe that enjoying HP makes you an inherently bad person. I also think it's really bad that a lot of people seem to equate media consumption with political or personal beliefs. But I think for a lot of trans people, JK is a particularly sore spot because trans people are under so much targeted attacks right now. In the US, there are lots of states drafting and passing laws that prohibit trans people from public spaces or prevent us from getting medical treatment. So, a lot of us are feeling pretty insecure in the world right now.

It's possible that your sibling's partner is feeling similarly worried and insecure, and she may perceive trying to convince you to drop HP as a way to cope with transphobia from the media and politicians. She can talk to you about transphobic people, and why supporting a person/series is potentially questionable (in her view). But, she can't exactly do the same for politicians, political pundits, and journalists.

The other reality is that when people talk about playing HP games, watching HP movies, etc. that does do advertising for the series, which puts money in JK's pocket. You might not be spending your personal money on the game, but you playing it and/or talking about it does do a little bit of advertising. It's a very small amount (and I wouldn't be that worried about it), but that's another thing your sibling's partner might be feeling uncomfortable with.

I obviously don't know how close you are to your sibling's partner and how much you've talked to her about this, but a possible solution to show that you care about trans folks might be to donate some money to a trans-supportive cause if you're able to--maybe someone's personal transition fund or an advocacy organization. If money is tight, another big thing you can do is make your support of trans people vocal, and encourage other people to donate to advocacy organizations, or share transition funds.

Also remember that you can't please everyone! No matter what, someone isn't going to approve of everything you do. Ultimately, only you get to decide your personal morals and beliefs as you go through life. You know yourself better than your sibling's partner.

You make very valid points that I hadn't considered.... and I thank you for responding! I was hoping that because I reconnected with my sib, the partner and I could be friends (or friendlier than last partner) - I just don't want this to be the rift or a start of a rift between us.

I want to clarify with the partner that I enjoy the world of HP. It is possible to enjoy an author's world without wanting anything to do with the author.

I'm not a very confrontational person, so I want to be as succinct as I can that (and I realize I'm repeating myself) that what HP stands for is not the same thing as JK.

For one I'm sorry you and your siblings are even having to reconcile. I had to with my own sis because of our dad, so I understand some of the feelings of awkward when you first get back in touch. Secondly I feel you've already shown your support by no longer directly interacting with the authors pages and media. However I don't think you should have to drop something you like and enjoy for YOUR life. Would they (sibling and partner) do the same for you on a subject that's close to you? If they wouldn't make any adjustments to help you feel better on your subject then why do you have to give up anything for them?There are things for you and YOUR life that at the end of the day are your choices to make with reasons of your own. If you're open to a change of venue ask them what they possibly suggest in replacing HP with. If they can or can't help guide you its still worth pointing out you DON'T spend your money on the game and you get your physical merch at cons where you are likely supporting someone or a small business directly.
I also understand the hurt and concern she brought on herself when she said she doesn't have any support for Trans people. Here you have this amazing, magical alternative world and charming characters and development and its becomes something most every household loves. Then suddenly the creator pulls out a card that causes reactions and faces backlash that, by all means is well deserved, immediately caused rifts among fans vs those dumping the series right away. There's nothing wrong with the world that was made nor anything wrong with enjoying it. This isn't the first or last time where some creator has ended up in hot water of their own doing and losing base for it. But it doesn't means their creation is any less valid. At the end of the day how much do you wish to be back around your siblings and they you? How well would you take on another series to give up on HP or having it in your life less to help your siblings partner? It could be your compromise is that you DON'T give up what you love about having HP in your life and rather don't discuss it with them and just talk about other things when you interact. Nobody is going to walk away from this discussion 100% happy so figure it out for YOU so when you guys talk you know what you have to say.

Well she's neither unfriended me nor blocked me (sib's previous partner did that), so that's a plus in my book. Although, she hasn't posted anything since saying: "I'm sorry I can't do the 'pwetty pwease stop supporting people who want me to die uwu' shit anymore."

sigh I'm not in a good head space for drama between anyone atm.

I have pulled back on how often I play the game.

I do get where she's coming from - there's an author I have issue with. While the author I'm thinking of didn't come out and denounce people, they're still on the ick/skeezy and "please stop supporting them" list.

I can see both sides of the argument. those who love the world that a person created vs the "Why are you still liking this person?!"

I just wish things could be enjoyable without politics.

I guess, for me, when I find out a friend is still into it I am curious what exactly they still find enjoyable about it and how. If I find out a band has a member that did something really bad, it doesn't matter how much I like the song, I will think about what they did every time I listen. Sure, I already bought the album before I found out so technically it's mine to do whatever I want, but the memory is still there. I loved the movie Jeepers Creepers before I found out about the director, but anything I liked about just now seems gross and horrible knowing that it came from the mind of such a sick person, and wasn't coming from the place I thought it was. In the current political climate around the world, it's very terrifying to be LGBT right now. It's scary to hear what sounds like "but I still like it, even though it came from a place of hate," because maybe you think oh it must not affect them and remind them of people they say they care about then, who are in danger because of that very person. It hurts to see people actively enjoying something from someone who is currently causing harm to you, like imagine if you had a really bad ex who was still causing problems in your life and then became a famous rock star. You would probably hate hearing them on the radio and seeing friends use even free concert tickets for them, yeah? Especially if people whittled your hurt down to politics.

I'm not saying this from a place of active judgment, just trying to provide some clarity and I'm interested in learning myself about other people's thought processes with things they enjoy compared to my own. I also won't eat a tomato for years if I accidentally bite into a rotten one, it just grosses me out from that point on.

so sorry for the very late reply. Real life has been very havoc ridden.

I think the lure has more to do with the community of fans rather than the world of the author. Harry Potter has become more than JK - the fandom is more welcoming and still holds sway as opposed to the ill-informed author.

I get where you're coming from; I can't really watch anything with Dustin Hoffman without want to either take a really hot bath or vomit.

Oh yeah I can definitely understand and sympathize with that for sure, I mean there are also say bands I'm just not that into anymore for no particular reason (As in, the band didn't start releasing crappy music or anything, my tastes just changed and I didn't feel the same way anymore.) and I really miss the creative communities and fanbases that surrounded them to the point that I've tried to get myself to like them again just to get a bit of that sparkle back, just for the people that came with the territory.

It's truly unfortunate that some of the most toxic artists and authors in the world end up with the most devoted and even-more-creative-fans they absolutely don't deserve. Thanks for responding! :)