On one hand, I'm not going to like spoil the fun for others but getting lumi gifts really is something that makes me nervous or uneasy due to like personal issues with accepting things or asking for things and it hard to enjoy the gifts i've clearly gotten. i know i can't repay the favor and i know people are like ' it's okay to not return the favor if you can't afford it/ect' but it makes me feel really really bad on top of feeling bad people get me things? idk its this weird emotional roller coaster and idk how to enjoy lumi w/o either me feeling bad or making others feel bad. jsdfgduhkjbm, i don't want to like be a scrooge about it and be like 'NO GIFTS PLEASE' but i kinda rided on the hope my lumi this year would be like last year when i didn't get any gifts. but it seems this year isn't gonna match that. and i just rly don't know how to respond to it all and its just a mess and like idk what to really do. either i feel bad or i make others feel bad it seems like.

NTA.

there are groups dedicated to scouting empty trees so unless you locked your tree down for no gifts i think everyone is going to get something this year. but please, you're not disappointing anyone and if anyone does get crooked at you then they aren't exactly being nice, this is a season of giving not expecting.

huh, i didn't know you could lock them. good to know for next year at least dfiogjdh it's a weird thing i need to like work on personally and its something i wanna avoid till i work on it yknow?

it's a new feature i think, tho i could be wrong? but yeah i feel you, i'm the same. hate receiving stuff but its something i just let happen because people circumvent it in other ways. not to like stress you out even more, but i'd just accept the gifts and be done with it, and block anyone whos like "?>??? ?>>?>>> why u no gift me????" bc folk like that are asshats lmao

you're not the only one who doesn't like getting gifts. That's why staff made it possible to lock down trees (I think it was first done last year, but might have been the year before). You don't have to wait until next year to lock down your tree - I mean you can't prevent gifts that have already been given, but you can make sure you don't get anymore.

You can also restrict gift center gifts from non-friends. Unfortunately, I don't think you can prevent gift giving from friends though.

Getting gifted puts an obligation on you - even if that doesn't come from the person gifting, its still a "societal expectation" that you do something about it, so its understandable that it makes you uncomfortable.

going to need to disagree with you on that statement- there is no obligation, societal or other to give back an item from being gifted.

The definition is requires nothing in return and the user has clearly stated that they are already uncomfortable with the idea, it's unfair to put 'societal expectations' on something that 1. they cannot control and 2. is not a societal expectation.

i do not mean this in an aggressive way whatsoever, and i hold no ill will, but to say its an obligation is objectively false and will just perpetuate 's anxiety.

I don't think Lypsyl meant that there is an obligation when it comes to receiving gifts, just that the receiver often feels that way, which is why receiving gifts unexpectedly stresses people out or makes them uncomfortable. Sorry if I'm misinterpreting that, though! Don't mean to put words in anyone's mouths

But, , I definitely understand the feeling! I don't experience it as much on Subeta as I do IRL with gifts and such from friends, but I can still relate. I don't think I can say anything to make you get over your discomfort regarding receiving gifts, but I can say that you're for sure not alone, and shouldn't feel guilty for feeling the way you do! :) I hope that you can still have a fun Luminaire and holiday season in spite of the situation, though! <3

I'm also dropping the link to the gift settings page here, in case anyone is lurking and doesn't know where to find it! Click!

Ugh I'm the same. I hate getting gifts unless I know the person because of the anxiety.

NAH. Some people just want to be nice and don't consider that not everyone wants gifts, but it's still reasonable to feel that way. You can always do what I do and hoard thank-you bears to send to everyone who left you something. That way you can acknowledge the gift in a hopefully stress-free way.