So I have a smelly boyfriend who I am thinking of buying perfume for.

It's not like he doesn't shower or wash, it's just that he has a very strong scent and I don't like how it smells. I've complained to him about it plenty of times, but he is the type to get defensive about critisism instead of proactively trying to fix it.

So since he isn't going to buy perfume for himself I suppose I have to take it upon myself to gift him some. Unfortunately I haven't got the feintest clue on male perfumes, and I haaaaate perfume shops as all the smells are too overwhelming for me :( too many smells in one place, ya know?

Can anyone recommend good male perfumes that I could give him? (or in general if you have a home remedy for removing/masking human scent, that is fine too lol)

Perfume is a pretty difficult thing to recommend, since the scents in the perfume itself will mix with his natural body odors (both good and bad). A perfume that smells really great from the bottle might smell terrible on one person and great on the next. The only way you'll know if it smells good on him is if he tries it out himself and lets it dry on his skin.

It might help to talk to him about what sort of scents he likes, first. A lot of men's perfumes have woods smell, vanilla, tobacco, musk, etc. so knowing his own scent preferences is pretty important. I'm not sure where you live, but some higher-end department stores have sections dedicated to perfumes, but the scents don't generally mix with each other or become super overpowering, since it's a limited selection compared to a store full of smelly stuff. Mid-range/cheaper stores like Target also usually have a small selection to choose from, with some samples.

Another option might just be suggesting he change his deodorant, lol. It's definitely less money to take a risk on.

Thanks :3 His scent is a bit sour, like it sticks to the back of the throat and just lingers in the room forever even if he was only in there for a minute. He sweats from all over his body so not just his armpits, it's the worst when he comes home drenched from the rain. I'll definitely tell him to spray on deodorant next time his scent bothers me. His deodorant actuall smells really nice ;w;

Ooohh I never really visit department stores (the one in my city is super pricy/high-end, while the cheaper one went bankrupt) but it's definitely worth a visit!

I think I'll be that person who should actually stay out of the conversation, but can't help it. Diet has a lot to do with how a person smells :( blame it on stuff like smelly cheese (like they eat in France.), onion!!! This is a big offender in my book. I used to eat onion, like most people. my partner finds onion (and garlic) really gross. (and so do I, many times). Anyways, we gave up eating onion (and garlic). I noticed my own body smells less since I gave up eating it - and i was smelling pretty bad in my opinion. I still sweat & i still smell :( but the scent itself is much weaker..

We also have stomach issues, and giving up onions and garlic helped with that as well. It was actually another big reason to give it up.

It's something to consider and to try for a month or so. Onion and garlic can easily be avoided when cooking at home. or picking it out from the food, when ordering or eating out. it's also impossible to avoid them 100% of the time.

A men 'perfume' i personally like is Luna Rossa by Prada. most of them have too much alcohol :( and might not even work. good luck!

Thanks :3 I also have stomach issues so I know how shitty it is :( The boyfriend has an iron stomach, he can eat whatever and be fine. He doesn't like onions and spicy food though, and only eats garlic when he eats shoarma which isn't very often. It's good to know, and makes me wonder what other foods impact how strong a person's natural scent is. He mostly eats apples, oranges, banana's, yoghurt/quark, oh and and a shitload of chicken and ham when he's dietting. (which is half of the time, he goes really hard on himself like.. only low fat milk and no snacks, not even cake at birthday parties. BUT when something happens like e.g. he had to have his wisdom teeth surgically removed three weeks ago he goes berserk and stuffs his face with sweets, and he's a real sweettooth. He can go through a whole bucket of icecream which = 900ml, 210kcal per 100 grams = 1890, and that's just for yum/on the side as he has like a second stomach for icecream or something because he could eat multiple buckets per day if he wanted to. I told him he really lets himself go in these situation and he agreed, so recognising the problem is a start. Wish he would recognise the smell problem too instead of act like I'm being a baby/dramatic for disliking how he smells...)

Anyway thanks, I'll look up the perfume and see if I can order a sample to see how it smells on him. :)

oh, if he eats as little garlic/onion as you say, then that's not the issue. milk could be another reason. i don't really drink that much milk, and i don't notice a scent change on myself. i really like milk though, haha, but i could drink 2 liters a day and it still wouldnt be enough for me, ooops.

i understand the ice cream situation - i'd probably do the same as him XD I actually can't really stop eating something until i finish it. i could eat the whole watermelon at once -i think i even did a few times o.o or anything else - chips, crackers, peanuts... just not regular food, lol.

my partner says animal derives foods can make one more smelly, but they don't know about chicken or ham. :(

i see he's pretty strong-willed, so he might be able to stay away from milky products for some time (cheat days are fine, of course, just not every day). Or to at least cut down on the quantity.

in any case, there are some people who are simply more smelly than others :( and no diet change can fix. So if anything else fails, just ask him to shower as soon as he comes home if he doesn't. - there are some men out there who simply don't wash after a long hot day.

I understand getting defensive about criticism, i'm like that too. i can't stand being criticized :( try not to complain about his smell, especially if he's naturally more smelly (if the scent doesn't improve after removing or limiting the milk. this includes ice cream too, sadly for him.) Try to tell him instead that you want to spend time around him, and you can't because you simply dislike how he smells. Also point to him he'll fell more relaxed, sleep better, and that couple life can improve. but you have to know what has the power to motivate him do something without having the impression you complain or criticize.

What i mean here, is to give him reasons to want to shower without feeling criticized. (i fail at explaining, so let me give you a better example. i work from home, and it's easy to get distracted, procrastinate and overall being lazy. To make me want to work instead of wasting time, my partner tells me that we can make more money (if i work) and we can afford buying more things. This is more effective for me than my partner pointing out how lazy i am, lol. though, that could work too, once in a blue moon.

if all this fails, i'm out of ideas. :( sorry

Yup he's one of those guys lol xD had a long hot day, and instead of hopping under the shower he drops on the couch in his swimming shorts and has the fan blowing at him at full speed. I didn't command or ask him to shower either, and on hot days I like to keep my distance from him anyway as he gets really sweaty and I don't like the feeling of sweaty skin. (granted we don't have airconditioning so the top floor is like a sauna, but a cold shower is still a cold shower.)

I do think it's his natural scent though, and he has milk with his cereal each morning so I don't want to take away his favorite breakfast. I think the best way for him to mask it is to shower a lot and wear perfume. I know he doesn't like to shower where we live because it's a shitty tub with a shitty shower curtain and have to hold the shower head by hand as there is no hook to hang it on. He's also too much of a scrooge to want to invest in this shitty house and buy a new shower. He rather wait 1 or two or god knows how many years until we finally move out, which puts the blame on me as I am still in college and thus have only expenses and no income. (also he was supposed to buy me a new computer for my birthday as I hadn't had my birthday present in 3 years, but that was in march and he still hasn't bought me one. I keep asking him to, but he doesn't really see it as a priority apparently. And when I get mad about it he brings up all the stuff he's ever done for me, and paints me as some kind of bad guy who neglects her boyfriend, as if that somehow justifies him being lazy about getting me a birthday gift.)

oh, gosh, i' sorry to hear all that :(

In Romania, it used to be common to hold the shower head in order to wash yourself. maybe you can DIY a shower hook or something, without having to buy a new one. something like a nail in the wall at a decent height, and then to tie the shower head to it. not recommended for a tiled wall. if you have a tiled wall, you could probably use some hotglue gun to glue a regular bathroom hook instead? and then tie the shower to that. or, you could also tie the shower's head to the bar holding the shower curtain? the angle will be weird, yes, but it's a cheap workaround..

is it possible for your parents to give you some money to change the shower since bf doesn't see the point? (i know some parents refuse to help their kids after they move out, and i also know that others continue to help.) it can't be that expensive...? can it? -an assumption i make since i don't know where you live and the value of money there.

partner and i also dislike sweaty/sticky skin, and we keep our distance from one-another. LOL it's a mutual understanding though. showering and deodorant should be the main solutions. perfume can make things worse, smell-wise.

not wanting to take away his favorite breakfast is understandable. but ice creams and the yogurts should be fine. or at least to decrease the amount or frequency. i don't know.

Oh, and if you can order samples,

Alright, I suppose I'll ask him kindly if he wants to shower after a hard day of work.

If you wanna know about my home situation it's in the spoiler.

Hello!

My favourite perfume ever is from Emporio Armani ("Stronger with You"). It smells so sweet and at the same time intense, I love it!

Thanks! I will have to take a trip to the perfum shop with him because I can't order samples of that online. It's been really hot lately so he's been refusing to go outside when he doesn't have to. :P

Check if he's happy with his soap and deodorant. I do think it's important that he samples cologne in person to see how it wears on him. Essential oil blends are nice too. Aesop has really nice products in my opinion. Most importantly, make sure he likes how the cologne smells on him and you do too.

I really dislike one-note perfumes and colognes that just dry down sweet on people and end up smelling chemically and cheap. It's the worst in public spaces!

Thanks :) Will do ^_^

It's on the more expensive side, Sephora has an awesome line called Replica and I personally love Fireplace.

The Replica line is carried by Sephora but it's actually Maison Margiela. I bought At The Barber’s from that line for my bf a while back. 😊

Perfume and cologne are expensive. I hope he appreciates your efforts in all of this.

I'm a fan of perfume oils personally since they tend to stay closer to the skin, and can be mixed with lotion or used on hair. Maybe he would like them as well?

My ex-husband used to use Ralph Lauren Polo Blue cologne which smells really good. He has a weird, sweet kind of body odor, even though he showers twice a day. When our kids get back from spending the summer with him I have to rewash all their clothes because they also get that weird smell and I can't bear it.

Also, this does not sound healthy to me. My ex is a narcissist and used to play all these emotionally abusive mind games like this to guilt trip me. As your partner he should care about your wants and needs the same as you care about his.

The smell means you have an immune system too close to yours and he wouldn't be a good "mate" for you. That's the main biological reason, the rest is diet.

And if he's going to be an ass about getting you a birthday gift, wow, that does not sound healthy to me.

I wish that immune system thing was true, he never gets sick while all I have to do is step outside and I catch something.

We ended up having a fight, words were said, and basically he didn't want to invest a lot of money in my birthday gift because he is so insecure, he thought I was going to dump him straight after.

I was furious as that depicts me as some kind of gold-digger, even though I'm a beautiful woman and if I wanted to get a guy for his money I could get a guy who owns a mansion, not my boyfriend who can't even afford a small appartment for the two of us.

He kept saying it's not me, it's him, and that if I just told him I love him he would get it for me right away. So in the end I did get my birthday present, but all the joy out of getting it was ruined because of all the drama involved.

I suggested he see a therapist for his indecurity issues, but each time I suggest it he gets defensive again and sais "let's just focus on your health for now" because I have crippling anxiety and two chronic pain disorders.

How are you even into a person who you hate how they smell? Have you tried to get used to the smell or create positive association for yourself with it, because sense of smell is pretty adaptable. You might be able to start to like his scent or at least become nose blind to it if you forced yourself to tolerate it for a while and think positive thoughts / show physical affection at the same time. Don't put all the onus on another person to change something they can't control like their smell... Work on your reaction to it instead.