...how did you start liking a food that you absolutely detested before?

I really need to lose weight. I don't like talking actual numbers, but I've found the people of Subeta to be a fairly accepting bunch, so I'm going to take a chance and tell you all how much I weighed at last count. Almost 240 lbs. I am disgusted with myself for getting this big. 99% of the time I hate how I look. I have pretty hair and a decent face, except for my crappy skin and slightly thinning hair at my hair line in the front (it's barely noticeable atm). I dress in leggings and dark colors most of the time because I feel like I have to hide my fat body. I know I'm not horribly obese - I carry my weight well enough. I just feel gross and fat and lazy and I hate it.

Much of my laziness has to do with the fact that I have depression and most of the time it makes it nigh on impossible to get my ass up and do anything. Sometimes I just sit and stare out the window or take a nap because I can't be bothered to do anything else, even if I really want to at the time. Much of my obesity has to do with the fact that my thyroid is a stupid bitch. I had hypo/hyper-thyroidism (I can never keep them straight) that supposedly makes it impossible to gain weight (but I can't lose weight) and then I had treatment (radioactive iodine) that was supposed to nuke a nodule that was maybe causing all my problems. So I got the treatment and it's been about 2 months since then and I'm now supposed to be out of the 'weight gain' phase. But I am SO NOT. Neither is anything else seeming to get any better - my crappy skin, my dermatitis, my mood problems, etc. So now I'm kind of panicking that the treatment didn't work and I'll have to either a) do the no-iodine diet again, which was the shittiest week of my life thus far, or b) have surgery, which would probably be even shittier.

I know that what would make things so much better would be if I could eat more fresh vegetables. But I have a problem. I have a very strong aversion to certain textures, mainly things that are plant-like...vegetables. The only way I get veggies in right now is by adding moringa powder to smoothies in the morning, getting pasta to cook that is made with veggies instead of wheat/rice, and buying other things like sauces and juices that have veggies 'hidden'. But for a long time, it's been a dream of mine to go vegan, because I absolutely hate the thought of using animals for food. I only eat turkey, chicken, and fish for meats as it is. Sometimes eggs, way too much cheese. But even typing that makes me hate myself for it.

I've actually tried hypnosis to make me like these textures - didn't work a bit. I've tried to eat a tiny bit at a time to get myself used to it - the time I tried lettuce, I threw up a bit. I don't know what else to try to make me like vegetables! I know that this is the key to 'fixing' myself. But I don't know how to do it. I've exhausted every resource I can think of.

Besides the veggies, I also need to get myself motivated to go to the gym. I try to pack a gym bag to take to work, to make myself go after work, but my depression is such that it's difficult to even bother to pack the bag the night before. Hell, it's even hard for me to pack my damn lunch the night before. Sometimes I can make myself go outside and walk when the weather's nice, but it's been crap lately. I wish I could get myself to want to go to the gym again. There was a time when I looked forward to it. I've tried bribing myself with good music, but I can't afford to download anything right now. When I walk outside, I bribe myself with playing Pokemon Go, which sometimes works. I like taking baths, with good scented salts and candles - the whole 9 yards, and I only allow myself to do that if I've worked out that day. But it's like nothing is motivating me anymore.

It's my dream to move to Florida and be a part of Sea Shepherd, but I'm not any good to them like I am. I'd like to find someone to love, but no one I've met has given me a second glance, hell, barely a first glance. I just...I want to be healthy and happy, but it's so goddamned fucking hard.

tl;dr: I'm having serious trouble getting motivated to work out and I hate veggies, but I want to love them, and life is just so damn hard right now.

[edit] Decided I'm going to keep track of my food intake and exercise here and grade myself:

Being obese does not make you unhealthy in the least. If you feed clear and move, then there is nothing that keeps you away of your goal. Want proof? Fine. I'm 360 pounds and I do suffer of Hashimoto thyroid issues. In the span of a month, I've gained 75 pounds of our nowhere. Will that bother me? Hell nah. It sucks? Sure. But hey, I keep going. I workout, take walks, do yoga and pretty much everything else that a 'normal weight person' would do.

You don't like veggies? Culivate your taste. Start slowly and try different things. Hide them in spaghetti sauces, hide them in smoothies, hide them in recipes etc. You're saying 'certain textures'. Then not all? I LOATHE the texture of peas. It's damn disgusting. Ew. But then, I just hide them in different food or just suck it up.

As for working out, do you have friends that you can buddy up with? Would you be willing to take a walk with dogs? I walk with dogs for free and it's much more fun than walking on a machine and staring into the void.

Also Lisa. Look. Really listen. Being fat does not make you ugly. It never will. There are people for everyone in this world. But most of all: you need to love yourself. If you can't love yourself, these issues will eat you alive once you start a relationship with someone.

I will look into walking dogs. I love animals, so that might be fun.

By certain textures...uh...yeah, I basically mean all of them. -_-;;; They all feel the same and make me pukey.

Thank you for your comments. I really appreciate it, especially that last bit. <3

Hypothyroid is what I have, it's where things aren't making enough of the thyroid hormones and supposedly impossible to gain weight. I got put on Remeron and gained 50lbs and now, they want me off the Xanax (that works for what I need - anxiety and sleeping issues) again and on Abilify, which can and will cause more weight gain. I'm telling them to shove it.

Find veg you like. There's tons out there and if you don't cook them to death, most are quite tolerable. Brussel sprouts and broccoli stems are just gross though, avoid those. If you boil veg to death, you're going to get green gobs of vaguely vegetable death. I know it can be a texture thing but what can you do?

Fresh peas are delicious, sugar peas even more so. My mum hates peas and lima beans but I'll just devour them. But, yeah, like Far said, you might have to suck it up. A bit of butter goes a long way sometimes. XD

Walk if you can. And if you're in the US, look for a place called Curves. It's a women's only gym that's very, very you oriented. No mirrors, no weigh ins that you don't initiate, no pressure. They'll work with you towards your goals and encourage you along the way. (I used to work there, it's so much fun when you get the powers that be that aren't on a power trip like my boss did there.)

My two cents.

I can also jump up and down on here and make sure you walk some each day if it helps?

yo hey, i also hate veggies! always have and always will. but then i went vegan for a year (it's wild story lmao) and somehow learned to like some?? but only like..... 4 |'DD

i find that eggplants and bell peppers (literally 80% of what i eat) are really nice if you cut them up in cubes and toss them into a wok with a bit of oil and don't even have that gross spinach/lettuce/green stuff taste. carrots make really good snack food too! i also used to substitute noodles in my stir fries with mushrooms which fill me up about as much but they're expensive and also a pain to clean orz also, soy sauce makes literally any veggie bearable in my experience!

personally for me i'd say gaining weight is my only fear in life so i've found a couple strategies to avoid eating, hopefully some work for you! q v q

• chew gum to keep your mouth busy

• snack on tic tacs (what i'll do if i'm drawing/writing/playing games is that i'll have a box next to me and have one every half hour or so)

• don't buy anything unhealthy (i know, kinda obvious, but you can't eat what you don't have after all)

• only eat at very specific times, so for instance if i haven't had lunch by 2 pm i'll just skip it altogether and wait for dinner

• (this is probably unhealthy but here goes anyway) i usually only eat 6 days a week and skip sundays but like it's actually kinda nice?? i kinda see it as my 'stay home and chill day' so not having to worry about cooking and eating and doing dishes is relaxing haha

• also at least for me having a different amount of calories per meal works wonders, my current average is 400 for breakfast, 300 for lunch, 200 for dinner and 100 of snacks throughout the day

• i'd say understanding your body is also super important! for me for example, i find that if i eat while i'm getting hunger pangs i don't feel full at all, so i'd rather wait for those to pass and then eat

if you can, i'd also definitely recommend seeing a dietitian/nutritionist. my mum struggled with her weight all her life and says seeing a nutritionist was the best thing she ever did

best of luck with you weight loss man, i believe in you! c:

I tried Curves before. Maybe it was just the owner here, but I didn't get anything out of it. shrug I have a member ship at a local recreation center now, where they have a gym, pools, and classes. I like it a lot better, but still, motivation is a problem.

Actually, fresh veggies appeal more to me than cooked some times. I think I might like peas, because they're tiny and I can probably handle a few at a time. This is probably a stupid question, but are all veggies okay to eat raw? Because I might be able to handle some things raw. I tried eggplant once, cooked...thought I was going to die. I like corn though! I almost forgot about that. But then, I'm told that's pretty much a starch and not that good for you.

I do like walking outside. There are a couple of parks near me that I can walk to and wander around. One is about a half mile and the other is just over a mile. You're totally welcome to rag on me when you feel like it, to make me get my lazy can out and do something!

Thanks for the post!!

I like the idea of chewing gum, actually, if only to shut my stomach up between breakfast and lunch, which seems to be my worst time of the day. My coworkers love to tempt me with goodies, the turds.

I've actually heard that skipping a day a week (fasting) can be good for some people. Sort of a cleanse, where you only have water. I don't think I could handle that though. I think just cutting my meal sizes overall will work better for me. For example, I had a veggie burger and fries tonight, but I only ate half - the other half will be my lunch tomorrow.

I think I might actually look into a nutritionist/dietitian. I've actually shied away from such in the past, because my best friend's stepmom-from-hell was one and she was fucking nuts crazy. But I shouldn't judge them all based on her.

Thank you for your post!!

oh man really?? everyone who knows i do this tells me i'm insane lmao good to know it's not too bad!!

and yes omg, gum is a life saver! i also found that when the gum starts losing taste if you eat a tictac alongside it (i'm so sorry i just rly love tictacs lmao) it kinda gets some back!! so that's def cheaper than having to get a new gum every few hours

also smaller portions are a great idea too! my general rule of thumb is that if my meal won't fit into a single bowl then it's too much, which is far easier to measure than having to weigh everything and count calories and stuff

haha yeah not all nutritionists are insane, but really sucks that you had such a poor experience ;; are you seeing a therapist for your depression? because if you are they might be able to refer you to a nutritionist/dietitian directly

It's difficult to get motivated to eat right and work out! I know I need to get better at it myself. I personally don't have thyroid issues, but I do have PCOS (which makes it so easy to gain weight omg).

I totally agree with others to sort of "hide" the veggies by blending it in with food. You could have an omelet in the morning with some chopped veggies. I like to mix in some veggies whenever I feel like making a spaghetti sauce. Of course, you can prepare them in different ways, too. Every now and then, I like to saute some bell peppers or roast some green beans. (I typically eat them raw, though). You could also try grating veggies with a food processor (or a hand grater should work too, if you don't have one). I'm not sure if that would change the texture enough?

Like , I like to chew gum too. The time inbetween breakfast and lunch kills me since I like to take a later work lunch to have less of my day left afterwards. Chewing gum can help distract me and keep me entertained.

I also second others by suggesting working out with a friend, if possible. I personally don't go to the gym mostly because I am super self-conscious of people watching me when I work out, lol. But I've got friends that started working out more often because they have someone going with them as opposed to going by themselves.

And if you like walks, I'd definitely keep that up! I have a dog and since I know he needs to be walked, it motivates me to get out and walk him (so I'm killing two birds with one stone basically). Of course, I'm not suggesting to go adopt a dog if you couldn't care for one. If you have a friend who has a dog, perhaps you can join them on walks (if they don't live too far away). Or just walk with friends in general. It's more fun walking with someone than by yourself.

Oh and as a fun suggestion, I've talked with many people that use rock climbing as a form of exercise. Regardless if it's the real thing or a rock climbing wall, they often say it's a good work out. If you have a rock climbing area near you, that might be a fun alternative every now and then.

Good luck! It's seriously not an easy thing to do. There are some foods that wig me out when it comes to their textures so I totally get it. It's not an easy thing to overcome but hopefully you'll find a way to be able to enjoy them!

I don't see a therapist, because I'm just generally not good at talking to people I don't know and trust. I'm on meds for it though, but I've been taking them a while and I don't really think they're working anymore.

PCOS is one of the things I thought I might have, but it was ruled out.

Hmm...grating veggies might work. I wish I could just eat them as they are though, any way they're offered.

I don't really have anyone I can work out with. My friends aren't the work-out type and I don't have very many anyways.

I don't think rock climbing would be good for me. Maybe once I lose a little weight. I don't think I could haul my fat ass up a wall, lol. That, and heights. shudder It's an interesting idea though.

Thank you for posting!

Hi there! Just wanted to chime in as someone who started at about the weight you mentioned in your OP. I'm down to 145 (at 5'8" if you're curious) and maintaining for a couple years now, so it totally can be done!

The others have given you some solid advice, but I want to emphasize the importance of making small, sustainable changes. If you go too hard on any one thing, you'll just get burned out and give up. That food log you're making is a wonderful starting point. I would advise not worrying about making changes for a few days, just watch your log and (most importantly!) be honest with yourself. Little snacks might not seem like much, but they can be sneaky and add up quick. I'd also recommend a tracking app like MyFitnessPal! Not necessary, but I just love seeing the numbers personally. And don't forget water! Water is the best; you'd be amazed how many times I thought I was hungry and it turned out I just needed water.

As for exercise, you can always sneak little bits here and there throughout the day if you have a hard time getting to the gym. Most of my weight loss actually started from getting more active at work. Take a few minutes every hour or so to walk a bit, look into a standing desk if you have a desk job, take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.

RE: fasting I actually like to do intermittent fasting! I don't take a whole day off, but I have a small (~300 calorie) breakfast and then don't eat until 5-6 at night. Works for me cause I get a huge meal at night and still easily stay within my calories for the day!

I can't really help with veggies cause I really only like spinach and broccoli, but try experimenting with different ways of prepping them. I grew up eating them boiled to death and hated them, but I'm pretty sure I could eat my own weight in broccoli off a hibachi grill. I've heard tons of people rave about baking them with a little salt and olive oil, for instance.

Anyway I'm rambling, but I just want to say I think it's awesome you want to do this for yourself. Don't get discouraged, healthy weight loss is a slow and steady process, but omg is it ever worth it.

(so sorry for the rambling spiel I get a little excited sometimes xD but if you ever wanna chat about it, feel free to drop me a comment. I love sharing health tips!)

A couple years ago I lost 84 lbs (my starting weight was 234, I got down to 150) by focusing on eating a lot of leafy greens. There are so many ways to make veggies delicious but my absolute favorite recipe is simply what I call "kale mix". I had never even tried kale before this and, even as a vegan, was never the biggest fan of vegetables. I was more of a "vegan hot dogs every night" kind of guy. XD But this recipe changed my life in so many ways and now I crave veggies I never gave much thought to. It's just sauteed kale, collard greens, spinach, broccoli, cauliflower and mushrooms (I use white button, any kind is fine) seasoned with garlic powder, onion powder and nutritional yeast. Salt is optional to taste. Start by drizzling some oil of your choice over the kale and "massage" it (that makes it tender; easier to eat) and start sauteing. You can add everything else, including the seasonings, while the kale is cooking but the spinach should be last since it cooks down faster. I really don't measure anything, just however much you want. Extra nooch (nutritional yeast) is always fine too - it really makes this recipe and gives it a "cheesy" flavor. You can also add in some tofu or seitan to the mix if you like.

Oh, an awesome healthy snack? Seaweed chips! They go great with green tea, imo.

I've been vegan for almost 7 years now (and vegetarian for about 18) but my main reason was (and still is) for the animals. While I saw health benefits (better skin, more energy) after ditching meat and later dairy/eggs the weight didn't really start to come off until I focused on whole foods and cut back on processed stuff. You can absolutely be a "junkfood vegan", especially with so many alternatives available these days (So Delicious ice cream is the best, lol). I still allow myself one or two "splurge days" a month mainly because I attend a monthly vegan potluck and love to try everything but for the most part I'm pretty strict. I never feel deprived though, tastes do change and cravings for unhealthy foods do go away with time.

Exercise is also key and for me the best kind is hiking and always with a dog or two...or three or four. XD They always motivate me and it feels more like an adventure than a work-out, time well spent enjoying nature with your furry friend. At the same time you're burning a lot of calories and building muscle, especially if the trails have hills. I also suffer from depression along with ocd/anxiety, something that has gotten better with help from a therapist, but changing my lifestyle has also helped. There's something about being out in nature with your dog(s) that is such a mood lifter.

Believe me there was a time when I never, ever thought I'd get under 200 lbs so it's entirely possible. Weight loss is a journey and exploring new healthy meals can be really fun. Don't give up, you'll get there! Best of luck to you and I hope you find some veggie recipes you enjoy!

Thank you so much for your post. If that nutritional yeast stuff tastes like cheese, I'd probably like it. It sounds like it'd just be a green...well, mess though, lol. I wonder if it would be okay over rice? If it does end up with more of a gooey texture though. I've never had seaweed chips, but I love love love green tea, especially Steaz Iced Green Tea with Peach. Dear God, that stuff is heaven. So I will try some seaweed chips. I like crunchy chip-type things. Some days I feel like I am a junked vegetarian - I'm kind of addicted to Morningstar Farms' Buffalo Chikin Patties and Bean Burgers. I would love to have a dog to walk with, but I have a kitty who is very anti-dog. I don't think she'd ever accept another animal of any kind in the house. She's...a whole lot spoiled, lol.

Dont let a number define you. Especially since the same weight is held differently on everyone. And I have seen people well heavier then me who are GORGEOUS or people thinner then me who look like they gave up on even trying. But even then its a style. Different people like different looks.

I used to be energetic and thin and was a gymnast dreaming of possibly trying for the Olympics. (silly kid dreams XD) but thanks to certain events (Medications, asthma, mono etc) I became sedentary I was on a constant wait gain train of a few lbs a month ever since high school.

I turned to Pet sites, video-games, music, etc to keep busy. I got so into the 'culture' of gaming and anime I even ran a club in highschool and started one in college. The thing that ended the weight creeping on was comically the same thing that was aiding the problem. Gaming.

Pokemon has always been one of my favorite gaming franchises so when Pokemon go came out I downloaded it right away.

It was baby steps at first. I could only walk half a mile before I was exhausted desperately wanting to sit down but I pushed myself. Perhaps the next street down Id see a male nidoran and I could make a tribute to my Nidoking from the very first pokemon play-threw I ever did. I'm lucky since their is a park 1 mile from my house so I built up my endurance so I could walk to the park sit at the benches and spin some pokestops for about 30 minutes to get my breath and energy back and then walk home. Now I'm walking 3 - 5 miles every day and can go 10 miles if i put my mind to it.

Pokemon go has forced me to walk over 1,000 miles! (I have a fitbit and I got the New Zealand badge for 990 miles months ago and i forget my watch on occasion) and lost around 30 lbs still eating most of the same stuff i used to... So i went from creeping gain to steady loss.

As for food I still eat a lot of the same junk as before but I'm burning off the calories tho I do try to throw in some healthier options here and there. I'm in the uncooked veggies department. A lot of a foods taste is in the smell that's why when sick with a stuffed nose food tastes different. Raw veggies don't have that gross smell just a firm crunch and can be healthieraswell. Perhaps find one you like. or do as others said and hide it.

Me I actually used Matzo-ball soup (a favorite of mine) and only let myself eat it if I hid tiny pieces of carrot, celery or I used dried minced to near poweder versions (like Vegeta... No not the saiyan but the veggie powder) to add the flavor and nutrition without the texture.

Everything is better with nutritional yeast, imo! Rice, popcorn, kale, salad, you name it. Nooch all the things! XD It's also super healthy and full of vitamins. Appearance-wise it looks like powdered (or flaked) cheese. Before I went vegan I was a self proclaimed "cheese addict" and nooch, along with non-dairy cheeses like Chao and Daiya, have perfectly satisfied that addiction.

Ooh, I do love some peach tea too. I buy St. Dalfour brand for my green tea and they make a delicious golden peach flavor. The seaweed snacks I get are more like little sheets, not really crunchy but they have a crisp to them. They also make actual seaweed chips too but I tend to do low carb so I go with the sheets. Both are delicious though!

Aww, your cat sounds very loved - and spoiled as she should be. :3 I had a cat like that years ago, at best she was tolerant of the other animals but I think she secretly loved them. XD

I'm definitely going to have to try this 'nooch' thing, lol. I'm guessing it would also help to keep one full, because yeast rises in bread, right? So it would probably 'rise' in your stomach too I would think.

Nah, it's not like baking yeast but it does add a lot of flavor to just about everything. I have found kale to be really filling and it stays with you for quite a while. A friend of mine once joked that after eating a big bowl of kale mix she felt like she was gonna have "kale babies". XD Anyway, Here's some more info on nooch that you might find useful. :3

Hey! i'm someone who struggles to lose weight as well! last year i gained some 14 kg in 2 weeks [gave up a shitty job and i was exhausted from it,and all i did was eat and sleep o.o]

the replies were a bit long to read them all, so i apologize if i'll repeat stuff. you don't need to go to the gym to work out: there are plenty of workout videos on youtube that you can perform in the comfort of your home. check them out, and maybe you'll feel like performing along with the person. this is what i did. how i motivate? easy: my body started to release serotonin (?) as i was getting tired. i was quite tired after each workout session, but so happy and cheerful, lol. and the next day my body was asking for more serotonin - it's quite addictive ;) and the easiest and fastest way to get it was through working out... and i continued. i only stopped when i was too busy with my freelancing job.

as far as eating vegetables goes... i wonder if you're perhaps eating a lot of refined sugar? or more than you should. if you do, try to limit the intake of refined sugar (less sweets, soda, bread...) don't do it all at once but gradually, say instead of eating the whole slice of cake at once, have just half and then drink water. the less sugar you eat, the more likely you are to want to eat fruits and vegetables.

personally i could never go vegan - i like cheese and milk a bit too much XD and honey. but i can't eat chicken anymore and i could never really eat fish (i need the type that doesn't have a fishy smell, like salmon, and that's expensive). i also like pork so i may have bacon now and then, beef not so much.

I keep my weight relatively low by being fairly active and limiting any food overall. This appalling amount of free time best motivates, I feel doing prolonged amounts of sitting makes me jittery.

Last I weighed a tipped at 77kg, my BMI is normal. What bugs me is I get comments on being slim, like it's a bad thing. I'm one of those guys who thinks big is beautiful.

A food I find difficult to enjoy is chili sauces. But is something I want to enjoy, I feel like I'm missing out.

- Usually, when someone says "eating healthy", what most people think of is eating salads. But, there's so many ways you can go about eating well. The key is to find what works for you.

I've never had weight gain problems, except when I was on a certain antidepressant, but my health has never been the best and my stomach is quite sensitive. One thing that I found helped me significantly is cutting foods with artificial ingredients. Learning to read food labels carefully is essential... So much food has so much random stuff added to it.

As for making veggies more appealing, once I cut the artificial foods and eating better, I started to crave veggies more. But, certain textures do bother me, like I have a hard time eating salads. So, hiding veggies in foods, like others have said, does help a lot.

I love soup, and soups can be a great place to add veggies. The trick is to not boil them too much. I like to cut the veggies into small pieces because I find that easier to eat. Another option with soups is to make a broth out of veggies. This is especially great when you want to use a veggie you can't stand the texture of no matter what you do but want its health benefits or flavor.

I'm also going to agree with on how great nutritional yeast is. You can even make a vegan sauce out of it!

Just remember that it's okay to "cheat" once in a while, as long as you don't go overboard with it.

I remembered that my aversion to vegetables has been cooking. It's like eating well, shit. I've learned that almost all of what I enjoy can be eaten raw or minimally prepared. Essentially I want to chew on it, not swig it down.

Again big is beautiful, just seems like average isn't.